A woman has sued her local hospital, saying that after her
husband was treated recently, he has lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied: "The man was admitted in
Ophthalmology.
All we did was correct his eyesight."
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TO HEAVEN?
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal and asks the first man he meets "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said "I do, Father".
The priest said "Then stand over there against the wall".
Then the priest asked the second man "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father" the man replied.
"Then stand over there against the wall" said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said "No, I don't Father". The priest said "I don't believe this.
You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said "Oh when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now".
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I LIKE CHICKEN?
Our teacher asked us what our favourite animal was, and I said "Fried chicken". She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, everyone else in the class laughed.
My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favourite animal.
I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her "Colonel Sanders".
Guess where I am now...
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SAY GRACE?
A girl invites her boyfriend over for dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner she wants to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because he's a virgin.
So off he goes to the pharmacy to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist his situation and asks for advice. The pharmacist tells him everything there is to know about sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack or a 10-pack. The boy says he feels lucky and insists on the 10-pack.
That night, the boy shows up for dinner a little late. His girlfriend meets him at the door and leads him straight to the dinner table where her parents are already seated.
The boy sits down, quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still silent with his head down. Five minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 10 minutes, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boy, "I had no idea you were this religious".
The boy turns and whispers back "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"
revi
reviewed by Cameron M
