January 2013 IssueVol 4, Issue  8


I Did Not Know 

What To Say  


     Dear (Contact First Name),

WELCOME EVERYONE!  We would like to express our deep gratitude to you for being a part of the I Did Not Know What to Say Community. We hope that our newsletter and website have provided you with useful information throughout the year.  


Featured Article: Loss of a Pet - How to Bring Comfort to a Grieving Friend.   We have received several requests for ideas on how to be of comfort to someone that is grieving the loss of a pet. I thought it fitting this month to discuss this topic because we lost our beloved cat Panther last week. After running him back and forth to the Vet for several days, he passed away from an inoperable tumor.  Panther was a beautiful black cat that had a sage like essence to him.   We jokingly called him our Zen cat. He was a much-loved friend and companion and we will miss him dearly.   



Be sure to also join us on Facebook and Twitter for resources and on-going discussions on ways to assist a loved one that is grieving. Be sure to watch for special resources on how to assist a grieving loved one cope with Valentine's Day.


Virtual Book Tour...Be sure to check out our Virtual Book Tour which features interviews with authors that have written inspirational books on grief and the healing process.


Do you have an inspirational story you would like to share? We invite you to submit your inspirational stories, letters that have reached your heart, a favorite quote or poem, an unforgettable outing, or a book that touched your life. We would love to hear from you. 




With Love and Gratitude, 






 "Animal lovers are a special breed of humans, 


generous of spirit, full of empathy,
perhaps a little prone to sentimentality and
with hearts as big as a cloudless sky"  

~ John Grogan  

In This Issue
Featured Article - Loss of a Pet
The Rainbow Bridge Poem
Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts
About Us
Quick Links

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Featured Article
featured Loss of a Beloved Pet - How to Bring Comfort to a Grieving Friend

My companion growing up was a beautiful Golden Retriever Collie mix named Red. Red was my first pet to pass away and I was devastated. I remember starting to cry when I was at school and my friends did not seem to understand why I was showing such deep emotions for the loss of my dog. Although they did not understand, I knew what a big part he had played in my life and I felt a bit lost without him. He was my friend, my protector and my companion.


 Animal people know that a pet can truly become a part of the family and their passing can be as devastating as losing a dear friend. A pet provides unconditional love and companionship. They are always excited to see you when you come home, they are by your side when you are sick, and they listen to you when no one else will. When a pet passes away they truly leave a void in the lives of those who loved them.

If you would like to bring comfort to a grieving pet owner, here are a few ideas you may want to consider:


Ways to Offer Your Support

  • Listen Without Judgment.Today, pets play an important part in the lives of their owners and their loss can be very painful. If you are a non-pet person, you may think it is strange that your friend is expressing such deep feelings for the loss of their pet. But if you take the time to listen, you will most likely find that their pet was their companion and friend.
  • Acknowledge the Loss. Understand that the loss of a pet can be significant and should not be disregarded as inconsequential. Acknowledging their loss and extending your sympathy can bring comfort to your friend. Send a card or give them a call to let them know you understand that this is an important loss in their life. A note might include the following: "We were saddened to hear of Panther's passing. You gave him companionship, comfort and warmth throughout his life. We will remember his joyful spirit. We are so sorry for your loss."
  • Don't be Afraid to talk about the animal. Sharing stories about a beloved pet that has passed away is a normal and a therapeutic way to heal. Allow your friend to talk about their memories and don't be afraid to mention the animal's name or share your own fond memories of the pet.
  • Give a Hug. A simple hug can go a long way. When my cat Harley passed away a few years ago, I remember becoming very emotional one morning. My niece, who saw that I was upset, came up to me and gave me a generous hug. I was grateful that she was willing to be there for me in a loving way. 

Thoughtful Pet Sympathy Gift Ideas

  • Show you care by sending a donation to an animal shelter or charity in memory of the pet that passed away.
  • Personalize a frame with a poem and a favorite picture of the animal.
  • Help your friend create a pet sanctuary in their backyard with plants and a memorial garden stone to honor the memory of their beloved pet.
  • Create a pet remembrance box with the pet's name, picture and keepsake items.
  • Send your friend a Pet Memorial Ornament to remember their pet during the holidays. 

What Is Not Helpful?

Often friends and family try to lessen the deep emotions of grief by offering what they may feel are valid and rational responses to the loss of a pet. However, these responses can be hurtful and can disregard the pet owner's feelings. Here are a few sayings to try to avoid: 


  • Don't be sad, you can always get another pet.
  • It is just a pet, why are you so upset?
  • I can't believe you spent so much money on treatment for your pet.
  • It has been a couple of weeks, why are you still upset?
  • Why would you spend money to have your pet cremated and put in an Urn, the Vet can just take care of it for you for free.  

And a special note to the non-pet lovers... we ask you to remember that your friends that love the furry creatures of the world may be experiencing a loss without their pet. Kind words and your thoughtfulness during the grieving process are always appreciated.   


I have always been deeply grateful for the unconditional love my pets have given me and those that have passed away will always hold a special place in my heart. If you have a Pet story you would like to share, we would love to hear from you. 





2013 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website created to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a loved one through the grieving process. If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a loved one, please visit our website at http://www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.


 The Rainbow Bridge

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge that connects Heaven and Earth. It is called Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. On this side there are meadows, hills, and valleys with lush green grass for all our special friends so they can run and play  together.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There is always plenty of food, water, and sunshine and warm spring weather. The old and frail animals are young again. Those who are maimed or abused are made whole again. They play all day with each other.

There is only one thing missing. They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth. Each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up! The nose twitches! The ears go up! The eyes stare brightly! And this one suddenly runs from the group!

You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet, you take him or her in your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again and again and again, and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

Author Unknown


Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas

giftsSympathy Gifts 


 This is a fabulous memorial gift for any pet lover who is missing their furry friend. The beads add a splash of style for indoors, yet are durable enough for outside as well.

Verse reads: "No longer by my side... but Forever in my Heart." 


Visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page for a wide variety of sympathy gift ideas for your loved ones. We hope the thoughtful gifts listed on our website inspire you to give warmth and joy to your friends and family in their time of need.

About I Did Not Know What To Say.com & Lori Pederson
LoriLori Pederson created I Did Not Know What To Say in April 2009 as a platform to inspire and provide resources to people that wanted to help their friends and family through the grieving process. 
Lori's expertise comes from those experiences that only life can provide.  Over the past twenty years, Lori has lost many family members, including her mother to ovarian cancer, as well as many friends, colleagues and pets.  She is no stranger to loss and the grieving process.
Throughout her life she has been blessed with many friends and relatives that were there for her as she experienced these great losses. She understands that although people want to help, they often don't know where to start.  I Did Not Know What To Say.com was created out of Lori's desire to assist people find the words when they don't know what to say or do.
You can learn more about Lori and her organization by visiting www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com, reading her personal Blog or contacting her at:
Lori Pederson

Each week we will be adding new inspirational stories and resources to our website and Blog.  Help us reach our goal of providing inspiration and insight to the world by sharing your story or resource with our online community.  We would love to hear from you! 
Share Your Story. Please email us your inspirational stories, letters/cards that have reached your heart, a favorite quote, an unforgettable adventure, a thoughtful gift idea, a book that touched your life, or a suggestion for our website or newsletter to

If you are an author or expert in the field of grief recovery, we would love to interview you for our Blog and/or one of our upcoming newsletters.

If you have a website, Blog or newsletter, we ask that you consider including our information on your site.  Here is the link:   

I Did Not Know What To Say
IDidNotKnowWhatToSay.com is a website created to inspire and provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.

With Love & Gratitude,


Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say

Copyright 2013' I Did Not Know What To Say(TM) Newsletter.  All Rights Reserved.