December 2012 IssueVol 4, Issue  7


I Did Not Know 

What To Say  


     Dear (Contact First Name),

WELCOME EVERYONE!  We would like to express our deep gratitude to you for being a part of the I Did Not Know What to Say Community. We hope that our newsletter and website have provided you with useful information throughout the year.  


Our hearts are grieving along with all the families in Sandy Hook. There are no words adequate enough to express our deep sorrow for your loss. May the outpouring of love from around the world surround you and fill your hearts.

If you would like to send a card to the Sandy Hook community, we have provided the address to the elementary school and the first responders below.

There was a quote going around the internet the last few days that made me look at the news a little differently, it said...

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." Mr. Rogers

There have been so many wonderful people offering their support and love during this difficult time. It has been awe inspiring to see the good in people come shining through. Ann Curry started a movement over Twitter called #26 Acts of Kindness to encourage people to commit to 26 Acts of Kindness in memory of those that were killed in Sandy Hook. It is amazing to read the stories of kindness, not only for those in the Sandy Hook community but also the acts of kindness they have been sharing around the world. Let us hope that this trend continues not just for the moment but well into the New Year! 


Although the world has been focused on the tragedy in Sandy Hook, let us not forget those around us that have also lost loved ones this past year. Their loss may not have received national attention but their loss is significant and their world too will never be the same. This month we honor the memories of all those that have been taken from us too soon and hold those grieving in our hearts. May you know that you are not alone.


Support & Resources for Traumatic Loss - Over the last few days there have been several useful articles that have been published on the topic of dealing with a traumatic loss. Below you will find a list of resources and helpful tips on ways to support those that are grieving in the wake of a tragedy. If you have a resource to share, please email us at Additional resources can be found on our website


Holiday Grief Support Resources - We invite you to visit our website to explore the many resources we have put together on how to assist a loved one that is grieving during the holidays. If you have a resource you would like us to include, please email us at


Holiday Sympathy Gifts - Visit our website for a wide variety of sympathy gift ideas for the holidays. Several of our vendors are offering Holiday Discounts on selected items.

Be sure to also join us on Facebook and Twitter for resources and on-going discussions on ways to assist a loved one that is grieving.


Do you have an inspirational story you would like to share? We invite you to submit your inspirational stories, letters that have reached your heart, a favorite quote or poem, an unforgettable outing, or a book that touched your life. We would love to hear from you. 



With Love and Gratitude,  







 Happy Holidays!  

May your Holidays be Filled with an Abundance of Love and Joy!



"Don't be discouraged by your incapacity to dispel darkness from the world. Light your candle and step forward."






In This Issue
Featured Article
Send a Sympathy Card to Sandy Hook
Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts
About Us
Quick Links

Pass It On 
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Our Past Newsletters are Now Available.

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Featured Article

featureSupport & Resources for Traumatic Loss

We have compiled a list of resources and helpful tips on ways to support those that are grieving in the wake of a traumatic loss. If you have a resource to share, please email us at


The Nation Mourns and Together We Heal - The Sandy Hook Tragedy 
Webinar - December 19, 2012 - 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM EST


Talking Points: Helping Children Following School Violence - Traumatic Loss Coalition for Youth


Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers - National Association of School Psychologists


Five Ways to Help Grieving Families After a Child Dies - The Compassionate Friends


The Senseless Shootings: How To Talk With Your Children - National Alliance for Grieving Children


How to Talk to Children About the Shootings: Calm Tone, Basic Facts - The Wall Street Journal


Tips for Talking to Children About the Shooting - NY Times


Dealing with the Loss in Newport, Connecticut - Moving Forward


America Mourns the Sandy Hook Shootings - Gloria Horsley, International Grief Expert


Helping a Homicide Survivor Heal - Article by by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.


Coping with a Traumatic Event - CDC


SAMHSA Coping with Violence and Traumatic Events - SAMHSA


Natural Disaster Recovery Guide - by Dwight Bain


Finding Peace in Tragedy - Joel Osteen


"If you do good, you'll feel good': Ann Curry explains origins of #26Acts of Kindness  



Visit our website for additional resources!


 Send a Sympathy Card to Sandy Hook


Send a message of hope, support and love to the Sandy Hook Community & First Responders.


Sandy Hook Elementary School 
12 Dickenson Drive
Sandy Hook, CT 06482
Monroe Police Department
7 Fan Hill Road
Monroe, CT 06468

Newtown Police Department
3 Main Street
Newtown, CT 06470

Connecticut State Police
Public Information Office
1111 Country Club Road
Middletown, Connecticut 06457
Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas

giftsSympathy Gifts 

angel                      With Sympathy Angel 


The Comfort Company's lovely resin angel is releasing a dove and features the comforting sympathy quote: 

"Angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hands of God"


  Visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page for a wide variety of sympathy gift ideas for your loved ones. We hope the thoughtful gifts listed on our website inspire you to give warmth and joy to your friends and family in their time of need.


Holiday Specials Now Available!

About I Did Not Know What To & Lori Pederson
LoriLori Pederson created I Did Not Know What To Say in April 2009 as a platform to inspire and provide resources to people that wanted to help their friends and family through the grieving process. 
Lori's expertise comes from those experiences that only life can provide.  Over the past twenty years, Lori has lost many family members, including her mother to ovarian cancer, as well as many friends, colleagues and pets.  She is no stranger to loss and the grieving process.
Throughout her life she has been blessed with many friends and relatives that were there for her as she experienced these great losses. She understands that although people want to help, they often don't know where to start.  I Did Not Know What To was created out of Lori's desire to assist people find the words when they don't know what to say or do.
You can learn more about Lori and her organization by visiting, reading her personal Blog or contacting her at:
Lori Pederson

Each week we will be adding new inspirational stories and resources to our website and Blog.  Help us reach our goal of providing inspiration and insight to the world by sharing your story or resource with our online community.  We would love to hear from you! 
Share Your Story. Please email us your inspirational stories, letters/cards that have reached your heart, a favorite quote, an unforgettable adventure, a thoughtful gift idea, a book that touched your life, or a suggestion for our website or newsletter to 

If you are an author or expert in the field of grief recovery, we would love to interview you for our Blog and/or one of our upcoming newsletters.

If you have a website, Blog or newsletter, we ask that you consider including our information on your site.  Here is the link:   

I Did Not Know What To Say is a website created to inspire and provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.

With Love & Gratitude,


Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say

Copyright 2012' I Did Not Know What To Say(TM) Newsletter.  All Rights Reserved.