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A COURSE IN MIRACLES
CH 6 "ATTACK AND FEAR"
II. THE MESSAGE OF THE CRUCIFIXION
[continued]
Your resurrection is your reawakening. I am the model for rebirth, but rebirth itself is merely the dawning on your minds of what is already in them. God placed it there Himself, and so it is true forever. I believed in it and therefore made it forever true for me. Help me to teach it to our brothers in the name of the Kingdom of God, but first believe that it is true for you, or you will teach amiss.
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DAILY LESSON
L e s s o n 65
My only function is the one God gave me.
Voice and Music by CIMS SonShip Radio
1 The idea for today reaffirms your commitment to salvation. It also reminds you that you have no function other than this. Both of these thoughts are obviously necessary for a total commitment. Salvation cannot be the only purpose you hold while you still cherish others. The full acceptance of salvation as your only function necessarily entails two phases; the recognition of salvation as your function, and the relinquishment of all the other goals you have invented for yourself. This is the only way in which you can take your rightful place among the saviors of the world. This is the only way in which you can say and mean, "My only function is the one God gave me." This is the only way in which you can find peace of mind.
2 Today and for a number of days to follow, set aside ten to 15 minutes for a more sustained practice period in which you try to understand and accept what today's idea really means. It offers you escape from all your perceived difficulties. It places the key to the door of peace, which you have closed upon yourself, in your own hands. It gives you the answer to all the searching you have done since time began.
3 Try, if possible, to undertake the daily extended practice periods at approximately the same time each day. Try, also, to determine this time today in advance and then adhere to it as closely as possible.
4 The purpose of this is to arrange your day so that you have set apart the time for God, as well as for all the trivial purposes and goals you will pursue. This is part of the long range disciplinary training which your mind needs, so that the Holy Spirit can use it consistently for the purpose He shares with you.
5 For this longer practice period, begin by reviewing the idea for today. Then close your eyes, repeat the idea to yourself once again, and watch your mind carefully to catch whatever thoughts cross it.
6 At first, make no attempt to concentrate only on thoughts related to the idea for today. Rather, try to uncover each thought that arises to interfere with it. Note each one as it comes to you with as little involvement or concern as possible, dismissing each one by telling yourself:
7 This thought reflects a goal that is preventing me
from accepting my only function.
8 After a while, interfering thoughts will become harder to find. Try, however, to continue a minute or so longer, attempting to catch a few of the idle thoughts which escaped your attention before, but do not strain or make undue effort in doing this. Then tell yourself:
9 On this clean slate, let my true function be written for me.
10 You need not use these exact words, but try to get a sense of being willing to have your illusions of purpose be replaced by truth.
11 Finally, repeat the idea for today once more and devote the rest of the practice period to trying to focus on its importance to you, the relief its acceptance will bring you by resolving your conflicts once and for all, and the extent to which you really want salvation in spite of your own foolish ideas to the contrary.
12 In the shorter practice periods, which should be undertaken at least once an hour, use this form in applying today's idea:
13 My only function is the one God gave me.
I want no other and I have no other.
14 Sometimes close your eyes as you practice, and sometimes keep them open and look about you. It is what you see now that will be totally changed when you accept today's idea completely.
~ Original Hand Script of ACIM
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ACIM Edmonton - Sarah's Reflections
Lesson 65
My only function is the one God gave me.
Sarah's Commentary:
This lesson brings to our awareness the many self-appointed goals we have, the many plans we make for our perceived safety and comfort, and the many ways we try to manage this unmanageable world. It also brings to our awareness the fantasies we hold about our needs and requirements and the fantasies we hold about what we think others need and how we can help them. We have no idea about any of this. It is all just ego grandiosity. We try to impress ourselves with what will make us happy when we have no idea because we do not know our best interests. How could I know my best interests when Jesus tells me that I don't know what I am?
Many of our goals are made to address something that we think is lacking in us. In other words, we are planning our own salvation, meaning that we are making plans for things in the world that we think will bring us happiness, comfort and peace, yet they never do, at least not for long. Why? Because the ego's mantra is, seek but do not find, because its goal is to have us stay invested in this illusion and maintain our individual selves.
Our lives become a whirlwind with a myriad of "to do's" with lots of functions and activities to keep us distracted. Now it seems that we have one more thing to do, which is to focus on our salvation. Yet this Lesson says it is not about adding one more activity, but recognizing that my only function is the one God gave me. Everything else I have determined to be my function is just a vehicle or backdrop for what is really my only function. Nothing else but our salvation (healing) is important at all. It requires a full commitment to waking up from this dream, which we probably can't say that we totally have now. Even though we may not have total commitment, we need to be gentle with ourselves. There is nothing helpful about making ourselves even more guilty than we already feel. We are doing these Lessons because there is a certain degree of willingness, even if that commitment is not yet total. Yet we are heading in the right direction for our happiness.
That is the reason that Jesus asks us to set aside structured time for doing the Lesson. He tells us, "Try, if possible, to undertake the daily extended practice periods at approximately the same time each day. Try, also, to determine this time in advance, and then adhere to it as closely as possible. The purpose of this is to arrange your day so that you have set apart the time for God, as well as for all the trivial purposes and goals you will pursue. This is part of the long-range disciplinary training your mind needs, so that the Holy Spirit can use it consistently for the purpose He shares with you." (W.65.4.1-4)
The idea here is not that this be a permanent arrangement, but it is in recognition that right now we need external discipline before we can internalize what he is teaching, at which point we will hold the right-minded mindset virtually all the time. In fact it, and not the ego mind, will become our default position. While we set aside time for some extended practice periods, we are not being told to give up the trivial things we attend to the rest of the day. He reminds us that what is important is not what we do, but what our mind-set is with which we do it.
"This quiet center, in which you do nothing, will remain with you, giving you rest in the midst of every busy doing on which you are sent." (T.18.VII.8.3(ACIM OE T.18.VIII.70) It is not about sacrifice by giving up what we think we want and need for ourselves. Jesus is just asking us for a little bit of our time during the day, organized in advance, so that we can bring our quiet center to our day. Initially structure is very important, but later the structure is not as essential when our minds become more disciplined. It is clearly a process.
We may wonder why we can't just be spontaneous and allow what comes to come? What is the purpose of all of these requirements? The answer lies in dedication, willingness and commitment. To think you don't need this structure is the arrogance of the ego that always thinks it knows better and prefers its own organic process. Clearly we resist being told what to do. It does seem like an affront. We resist authority and want to be authors of our own lives. We call this freedom, but without realizing how we are in bondage to the cult of the ego conditioning.
When we commit to setting time aside during the day to do the longer practice period of ten to fifteen minutes, we are affirming commitment to our spiritual goal. We are arranging our day for what we say is important to us. It is a hard one for me because I have always resisted structure. I have always considered myself a bit of a rebel. My process overall tends to be more fluid. Yet every day there are certain things I commit to that I consider important. So Jesus asks us to do the same thing with this practice. I see the benefit of setting aside a particular time during the day for this practice and thus establishing a habit and sticking with it. When I don't spend the time on the Lesson, despite my commitment, it helps me to see how resistant I still am to awakening from this dream. In all of this, Jesus cautions us not to make our Lessons about form but content. In other words, this Course is not about ritual, but about meaning and application of the teachings to our day to day issues and problems. It is not just about being good students to please the teacher. We are doing this for our own happiness.
He assures us that we can find peace of mind in no other way than to accept the function God has given us and thus to "take our rightful place among the saviors of the world." (W.65.2.1) Only when we finally relinquish all other goals and are fully committed will we really be able to say and mean that our only function is the one God gave us. If this isn't true for us now and we don't have peace of mind as a result, how do we get there? How can this be achieved? Do we have to sacrifice those functions in which we are currently involved? Should we feel guilty if we are still pursuing them? He gives us careful instructions in answer to these questions.
Before I get into them, however, note how he says we have closed the door to peace ourselves with our own hands. If we don't have peace, it is because we have chosen to close this door although we don't think we have done this to ourselves. We think we are the victims of situations and circumstances in the world, which rob us of our peace. Now we have been given a way to escape from all of our perceived difficulties, and the answer that we have been seeking, since time began, (W.65.3.4) is given us in this practice. We now have the key in our hands to open this door to peace that we have locked, and we can indeed escape all of our perceived difficulties. What is that answer? Is it really in this idea? How do we make it real for ourselves?
Jesus knows that we are not ready to give up our own goals. That is why he says that the full acceptance of our salvation entails two phases. Notice that he does not say two steps. He understands that we are going through a process of change starting with the first phase as the "recognition of salvation as your only function," (W.65.1.5) and the second phase being "the relinquishment of all the other goals you have invented for yourself." (W.65.1.5) Each phase can clearly take a long, long time. Each Lesson in the Course, each reading of the text, each application of the Lesson, helps in the accomplishment of each phase. We are not asked to go faster in our healing process than our fear will allow. We are not asked to sacrifice that which we still value. We are not being coerced to do anything we are not ready to do. We need to be patient with ourselves as Jesus is with us.
We are asked to watch our minds carefully in our meditation time and to try to uncover each thought that interferes with the thought for today. Uncovering our thoughts, and bringing them to awareness, is the only way to heal our minds. "It is pointless to believe that controlling the outcome of misthought can result in healing." (T.2.VI.3.1)(ACIM OE T.2.IV.74) What this means is that if our focus is on trying to behave in a more loving way than we feel, we are trying to control the outcome of misthought. In other words, we think that if we behaved better that that is all that is needed and that what is going on in our minds doesn't matter. If this were true, the appearance of loving behavior toward someone would override our judgment of this person. This is what happens when we cover up our thoughts while behaving in a seemingly nice and acceptable manner. We are giving mixed messages as our 'loving' behavior does not match our unloving thoughts. Healing requires that we change the cause, which is to change our minds. This means we have to see what is in our minds in the first place. We have to bring awareness to our unloving thoughts and bring them to the truth.
The solution is not to keep a lid on our ego, keeping it caged, but to expose it with every thought that crosses our minds. Otherwise its tentacles manage to reach out beyond the cage. Our smiles cannot cover unloving thoughts. Even if we stuff down our feelings, stuff down our guilt and our fear, our anger and hatred will leak out. "You cannot escape from the ego by humbling it or controlling it or punishing it." (T.4.VI.3.8)(ACIM OE T.4.VII.88) The only answer is to release it as this Lesson advises.
We must not underestimate our fear. Our desire to control reality (meaning events in the world) comes directly from our fear. "For the memory of God can dawn only in a mind that chooses to remember, and that has relinquished the insane desire to control reality. You who cannot even control yourself should hardly aspire to control the universe. But look upon what you have made of it, and rejoice that it is not so." (T.12.VIII.5.3-5)(ACIM OE T.11.IX.81) Our experiences of the world and of our lives are outside of our own control. Yet we do try to control them with our plans and strategies and with our confident self-image, which we try to inflate with our life skills and empowerment workshops, with our attempts at affirmations and manifestations, and with setting rules and requirements. Remember though, this is not a self-improvement course. It is a course in transformation.
What we are being asked is to look at our thoughts calmly and give them over to the Holy Spirit until our function can get written on a clean slate. Remind yourself as you look at your thoughts, "This thought reflects a goal that is preventing me from accepting my only function." (W.65.5.6) We keep looking until interfering thoughts become harder to find. Our job is to clear our minds, so that "On this clean slate let my true function be written for me." (W.65.6.4) Pay attention to your ego thoughts. They are what interferes with remembering and identifying with the idea for today. Realize that you have chosen these thoughts to keep salvation away. It is our way of keeping the truth away and staying invested in our specialness. We want to protect our self image, our identity, our story, which justifies our existence as a unique, special and separate individual. Thus, we prefer to identify with fear (the ego) rather than to choose love.
Remember in the Lesson yesterday, Jesus reminded us that the entire world exists in order to obscure our function of forgiveness. What is it that causes us to forget this Lesson? Well the world exists as a defense against the truth of who we are. The world was made by the ego, not God, precisely to obscure our reality and it does seem to do that very well. There are ample distractions to keep us occupied with the world as long as we choose! As Jesus pleads with us, "How long, O Son of God, will you maintain the game of sin?" (W.PII.Q4.5.1) It is up to each of us to decide this question for ourselves. There is no need for guilt about our decision. It is in our best interests to be very honest with ourselves. We are the commander of our own process. Jesus is our model and the Holy Spirit is our Guide.
In our practice, he says that sometimes we close our eyes as we practice and sometimes keep them open and look about. (W.65.7.4) This is consistent with many of the practices in the workbook and reinforce the teaching that, "Ideas leave not their source." (W.132. W156, W167) Everything is about our thoughts, which we access with eyes closed as well as with eyes open. Either way we are still only seeing our own thoughts projected out. The world is just an outside picture of our inward condition. It is all a projection of what is in our own minds. When our thoughts are changed, what we see will be changed as well. "It is what you see now that will be totally changed when you accept today's idea completely." (W.65.8.5)
Love and blessings, Sarah
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PAUSED FOR WEEKEND
II. The Message of the Crucifixion continued
10 There can be no justification for the unjustifiable. Do not believe there is, and do not teach that there is. Remember always that what you believe you will teach. Believe with me, and we will become equal as teachers. Your resurrection is your reawakening. I am the model for rebirth, but rebirth itself is merely the dawning on your minds of what is already in them. God placed it there Himself, and so it is true forever. I believed in it and therefore made it forever true for me. Help me to teach it to our brothers in the name of the Kingdom of God, but first believe that it is true for you, or you will teach amiss.
11 My brothers slept during the so-called "agony" in the garden, but I could not be angry with them because I had learned I could not be abandoned. Peter swore he would never deny me, but he did so three times. He did offer to defend me with the sword, which I naturally refused, not being at all in need of bodily protection. I am sorry when my brothers do not share my decision to hear only one voice, because it weakens them as teachers and as learners. Yet I know that they cannot really betray themselves or me and that it is still on them that I must build my church.
12 There is no choice in this because only you can be the foundation of God's church. A church is where an altar is, and the presence of the altar is what makes it a church. Any church which does not inspire love has a hidden altar which is not serving the purpose for which God intended it. I must found His church on you because you who accept me as a model are literally my disciples. Disciples are followers, but if the model they follow has chosen to save them pain in all respects, they are probably unwise not to follow him.
13 I elected both for your sake and mine to demonstrate that the most outrageous assault as judged by the ego did not matter. As the world judges these things, but not as God knows them, I was betrayed, abandoned, beaten, torn, and finally killed. It was perfectly clear that this was only because of the projection of others, because I had not harmed anyone and had healed many. We are still equal as learners, even though we need not have equal experiences. The Holy Spirit is glad when you can learn enough from mine to be re-awakened by them. That was their only purpose, and that is the only way in which I can be perceived as the Way, the Truth, and the Light.
14 When you hear only one voice, you are never called on to sacrifice. On the contrary, by enabling yourselves to hear the Holy Spirit in others, you can learn from their experiences and gain from them without experiencing them yourselves. That is because the Holy Spirit is one, and anyone who listens is inevitably led to demonstrate His way for all. You are not persecuted, nor was I. You are not asked to repeat my experiences because the Holy Spirit, Whom we share, makes this unnecessary. To use my experiences constructively, however, you must still follow my example in how to perceive them.
15 My brothers and yours are constantly engaged in justifying the unjustifiable. My one lesson, which I must teach as I learned, is that no perception which is out of accord with the judgment of the Holy Spirit can be justified. I undertook to show this was true in a very extreme case merely because it would serve as a good teaching aid to those whose temptations to give in to anger and assault would not be so extreme. I will with God that none of His Sons should suffer.
16 Remember that the Holy Spirit is the communication link between God the Father and His separated Sons. If you will listen to His Voice, you will know that you cannot either hurt or be hurt and that many need your blessing to help them hear this for themselves. When you perceive only this need in them and do not respond to any other, you will have learned of me and will be as eager to share your learning as I am. The crucifixion cannot be shared, because it is the symbol of projection, but the resurrection is the symbol of sharing, because the reawakening of every Son of God is necessary to enable the Sonship to know its wholeness. Only this is knowledge.
17 The message of the crucifixion is perfectly clear:
18Teach only love, for that is what you are.
19 If you interpret the crucifixion in any other way, you are using it as a weapon for assault rather than as the call for peace for which it was intended. The Apostles often misunderstood it and always for the same reason that makes anyone misunderstand anything. Their own imperfect love made them vulnerable to projection, and out of their own fear they spoke of the "wrath of God" as His retaliatory weapon. Nor could they speak of the crucifixion entirely without anger, because their own sense of guilt had made them angry.
20 There are two glaring examples of upside-down thinking in the New Testament, whose whole gospel is only the message of love. These are not like the several slips into impatience which I made. I had learned the Atonement prayer, which I also came to teach, too well to engage in upside-down thinking myself. If the Apostles had not felt guilty, they never could have quoted me as saying, "I come not to bring peace but a sword." This is clearly the exact opposite of everything I taught.
21 Nor could they have described my reactions to Judas as they did if they had really understood me. They would have realized I could not have said, "Betrayest thou the Son of Man with a kiss?" unless I believed in betrayal. The whole message of the crucifixion was simply that I did not. The "punishment" which I am said to have called forth upon Judas was a similar reversal. Judas was my brother and a Son of God, as much a part of the Sonship as myself. Was it likely that I would condemn him when I was ready to demonstrate that condemnation is impossible?
22 I am very grateful to the Apostles for their teaching and fully aware of the extent of their devotion to me. Nevertheless, as you read their teachings, remember that I told them myself that there was much they would understand later because they were not wholly ready to follow me at the time. I emphasize this only because I do not want you to allow any fear to enter into the thought system toward which I am guiding you. I do not call for martyrs but for teachers. No one is "punished" for sins, and the Sons of God are not sinners.
23 Any concept of "punishment" involves the projection of blame and reinforces the idea that blame is justified. The behavior that results is a lesson in blame, just as all behavior teaches the beliefs which motivate it. The crucifixion was a complex of behaviors arising out of clearly opposed thought systems. As such, it was the perfect symbol of conflict between the ego and the Son of God. The conflict is just as real now, and its lessons, too, have equal reality when they are learned. I do not need gratitude any more than I needed protection, but you need to develop your weakened ability to be grateful, or you cannot appreciate God. He does not need your appreciation, but you do.
24 You cannot love what you do not appreciate, and fear makes appreciation impossible. Whenever you are afraid of what you are, you do not appreciate it and will therefore reject it. As a result, you will teach rejection. The power of the Sons of God is operating all the time because they were created as creators. Their influence on each other is without limit and must be used for their joint salvation. Each one must learn to teach that all forms of rejection are utterly meaningless. The separation is the notion of rejection. As long as you teach this, you still believe it. This is not as God thinks, and you must think as He thinks if you are to know Him again.
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