Sarah's Commentary:
I really love this Lesson. It has been one of the most helpful ones to me in changing my mind about the way I have seen myself in the world. There are many ways in which we feel victimized, and we set up defenses against the pain of victimization. Everyday there is something we defend against. We feel victimized by many things, be it weather, viruses, slow service, crime, traffic, politics, wars, bills, high costs, challenging relationships, unfair practices, abuse by authority figures, or sickness. What is it that gives power to these circumstances and events, which are in and of themselves just neutral, illusory events? Obviously, it is our thoughts about them. The events are neutral, but our thoughts about them are not. Of course, this statement can be an outrage to the ego and thus create anxiety for us, because we may have suffered some very painful events in our lives.
"Again, the idea should be applied to both the world you see without and the world you see within." (W.31.1.2) Jesus is telling us that the inner and outer is both the same. When we survey our inner world, we are victimized by our own self-doubts, fears, anger, feelings of helplessness, perfectionism, competition, jealousy, possessiveness, unworthiness, betrayal, manipulation, control, revenge for old wounds, depression, anxiety and expectations. We can escape from both the inner and outer together, because the inner is the cause of the outer. "You will escape from both together, for the inner is the cause of the outer." (W.31.2.5)
Being a victim serves the ego. We set things up exactly as we want them. The question is, why would we do that? Why would we want to be betrayed? Well, it allows us to do certain things, and there are other things that we then don't have to do. It is a way we hide from ourselves and our purpose. It is an empowering idea to see that we are not a victim of the world we see. The world I see is coming from my own thoughts, and these thoughts can be healed when I choose the miracle, which comes about when I choose to forgive. My healing depends on my willingness to bring my mistaken perceptions to the light of Truth. If I am truly a victim of outer events, then I really am helpless because there is very little that I can do to change anything. I may have the illusion of having some control, but mostly we don't have any. Events just seem to happen to us.
It is at our birth when the story of our victimhood took hold. We all feel like we didn't ask to be born and that the painful experiences of our childhood made us feel victimized. Our whole life story is based on this thought. Thus, we have set up a lot of defenses to protect ourselves from the pain of these past experiences. Have you thought about what your life would be like without these defenses? Have you thought what your life would be like without your story? There would be ease, grace and a sense of empowerment. Victim-hood is a position that is very much supported in the world and even honored. Thus, to be a victim has its own rewards. What this Lesson does is undermines everything we currently believe about ourselves and the meaning that we have given to everything in our lives. Jesus tells us, if we accept the truth that we are not a victim of the world we see, it is a declaration of release from our ego. It is not initially a welcome idea, when our story of victim-hood seems so justified.
In the Text Chapter 27, there is a very powerful section entitled, "The Dreamer of the Dream." It is about our belief that we gain salvation through suffering. It is the "world's demented version of salvation." (T.27.VII.1.2) (ACIM OE T.27.VIII.62) We believe that our suffering is a result of being unjustly attacked, and we refuse to see that we, ourselves, brought about the attack. We take no responsibility for the attack and see it as "a thing outside himself." (T.27.VII.1.4) (ACIM OE T.27.VIII.62) If the source is seen outside of ourselves, then obviously there is no escape. Of course there is an escape, when we choose Jesus instead of the ego as our teacher. An important step in this process is to see that it is ultimately our decision-making minds that set it up this way. It is not a conscious choice that we have made, but part of the script we have chosen for ourselves. It clearly looks like it is the world that is hurting us. It seems obvious, which is exactly how the ego has set it up, so that we would see the world as the cause and ourselves as the effect. It is the guilt in our wrong minds that we project onto the world and now see others as the guilty ones. Jesus is showing us, in this teaching, that the mind is the cause and the world is the effect. We have reversed cause and effect, so that we feel like the world is causing us all of our grief, instead of our own thoughts being the cause.
The glory of being the victim is that we get to be innocent, but it is a false innocence that requires someone to be guilty, which comes at a high cost to ourselves. The cost is that we stay in the prison of our own lives, as we have defined them through the ego thought system, and we keep others bound to the guilt that we put on them. In our suffering, we believe that we are atoning for our sin against God. If we suffer enough, the idea is that we will administer our own punishment on ourselves and do His job for Him. It demonstrates a misdirected idea that suffering is demanded by God. Our love for Him can be demonstrated by how much we have suffered. This victim stance requires that someone pay, and thus the victim becomes the victimizer.
Jesus says that "suffering is an emphasis upon all that the world has done to injure you. Here is the world's demented version of salvation clearly shown. Like to a dream of punishment, in which the dreamer is unconscious of what brought on the attack against himself, he sees himself attacked unjustly and by something not himself. He is the victim of this 'something else', a thing outside himself for which he has no reason to be held responsible. He must be innocent because he knows not what he does, but what is done to him. Yet is his own attack upon himself apparent still for it is he who bears the suffering. And he cannot escape because its source is seen outside himself." (T.27.VII.1.1-7) (ACIM OE T.27.VIII.62)
Further, in Chapter 26, Jesus is basically saying, 1) It was my decision to separate from God, meaning that I chose to throw away God's love. 2) Now I feel guilty. 3) I desperately want to feel innocent. 4) I say that I didn't throw away God's love, but you took it from me. 5) I can take revenge on you for what I did. 6) I can blame you, and give my guilt to you to achieve my innocence. Whenever I feel unfairly treated by anyone, it is because I want to make my brother feel guilty. I can't be unfairly treated! "Beware of the temptation to perceive yourself unfairly treated." (T.26.4.1)(ACIM OE T.26.XI.88) It is such a huge temptation. Isn't it?
I remember this beautiful example of what is being talked about here in my own life. I became involved in our health care system while trying to have my mother attended to in the emergency ward. It would have been so easy to get outraged about the seeming chaos, which continued for twelve hours. Paramedics delivered her to the emergency ward, and they were required to wait with her for more than two hours before a hand-off to the nursing staff was possible. The opportunity was clearly there to feel imposed upon and thus, victimized by this situation. Further, this was an opportunity to attack those who were not undertaking their role in the way I deemed they should. However, I chose to notice my thoughts about this situation and to bring them to the presence of the Holy Spirit in my mind. I was asking to see this situation through His eyes, and in that process I recognized that the events were simply neutral. Only my thoughts about them were hurting me. "I am not the victim of the world I see." (W.31) With a shift in perception, there opened up some amazing holy encounters with the paramedics, who had nothing else to do while waiting except to engage in friendly banter. I left feeling blessed by the experience rather than outraged.
Then I had forgotten my cell phone and felt I needed to let everyone know where I was after an absence of about five hours at this point. I found an available phone, but there was a request posted that people not use it for more than three minutes. I was waiting for at least fifteen minutes while someone was on hold on the phone. I cooled my heels, but my thoughts were racing with all kinds of judgments. After I was able to make my call, I saw the person who had been on the phone experiencing a state of distress. Again I asked to see the situation through peace rather than attack. I approached her to ask if there were anything I could do for her. She said that she had been on hold, waiting to call a cab, but she never got through. I offered to drive her home, and again there was another opportunity to join in a blessed time together. Clearly the temptation was to see myself as a victim and thus become a victimizer in this situation. When there was a willingness to let go of my way of seeing the situation, space was made for the miracle instead.
Every situation can be used by the Holy Spirit for His purpose when we open to that. Our purpose is of self-interest as we define it, yet we don't know our own best interests. I looked around and saw people that seemed to be suffering, and I felt saddened by the seeming inefficiencies of the system, but reminded myself that the world was made to keep our guilt and fear intact and problems would always prevail. The script for each of our lives is perfect for our own salvation, and my job is to mind my own mind using every situation as an opportunity for forgiveness and healing.
That is what this Lesson is about today. It is about looking at our thoughts. Being vigilant in looking at our thoughts is an important part of mind training. It is just as important to look at our thoughts without judgment. "Try not to establish any kind of hierarchy among them. Watch them come and go as dispassionately as possible." (W.31.3.2-3) We just need to look at them and that is enough. When we are willing to look at them without judgment, then we have already called in the Holy Spirit. We are neither expressing our thoughts nor repressing them in looking at them. We watch them calmly, with no sense of hurry. We stand back from them because they are only thoughts and do not define us. Some are not better than others. When we say "I am ashamed of that event," or "I am upset at my anger," then I am judging what I am thinking and feeling, and I am taking my thoughts personally. Look at your thoughts with no special investment in them. Watch them quietly without hanging onto to any thought. They are not personal. They are just thoughts passing through the mind.
Notice how much we hang onto some thoughts like worry, upsets, anger etc. The idea here is to see your thoughts come and go and recognize that they don't matter. They are meaningless. Be the witness. Stand back from them. I find that as I am able to do that, I don't get distressed when a thought of hate crosses my mind. "Oh," you might say, "but I don't have any hate thoughts. I am spiritual." When you get really aware of your thoughts, you will see that indeed there are all kinds of thoughts in your mind that you are constantly in denial about. When we deny our thoughts, they get dumped into the unconscious and then they become the ruler of our experiences. Then we wonder why we are not at peace. Remember Lesson 21, where Jesus said, "You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury." (W.21.2.5) Oh, we dismiss these "little" irritations and tell ourselves that they are nothing, yet they create the pattern of our ego 'existence', which is precisely what we are undoing with these Lessons.
When you are watching your thoughts, think about who is the you that is doing the watching? Ken Wapnick calls this watcher "the decision-maker". It is the part of the mind that is choosing the ego or the Holy Spirit. This watcher is not the 'you' that you think of when you think of yourself. Thus, you are watching your ego in action. The "I" that is watching is not the "I" that you think you are.
The thing is that we do identify with the ego, and that is the problem because the ego is not who we are. This ego identity will not go along willingly as you proceed on this path. Thus, you might get very anxious as you are being told that what you have believed about yourself and life is not the truth. At first, the questions that come up in your mind about this path are simply suspicious. Is this the right spiritual path for me? Can I really believe what is being taught here? What will happen if I continue on this road? Then, when you start experiencing more peace and calm in your life as a result of doing this work, the ego simply rides along until you get serious about giving it up, and it gets vicious. This can feel terrible when you are that far along in the spiritual journey, and you want to leave this teaching. But, once called to awakening, we can't go back. As we go into these dark places, the beauty of it is that we are not going there alone. We will be taken to the other side of the darkness, where the love is. Courage is called for to expose the hatred, anger, rage, and unworthiness, because you can't let it go if you don't look there.
Yet just as this Lesson affirms, we need only look calmly at even these vicious thoughts and not judge them or try to fix ourselves. Otherwise, we might start wondering if this Course is really working for us and be tempted to give up. From this point on the Lessons will continually remind us to look calmly at our thoughts and whatever comes up, without blame or judgment. We are making progress, although the ego will not go without a fight. As long as you identify with your ego, neither will you. There will be resistance.
Practice requirements are set out as follows: 1) A morning and evening period of 3-5 minutes focusing on the idea for the day. Repeat the idea two to three times while looking slowly about you. Then close your eyes and apply the idea to your inner world. 2) Have frequent reminders throughout the day as often as possible. 3) Use the Lesson when you are feeling under attack of any kind. Anytime you feel like anything in the world is victimizing you, repeat the idea. You will get more out of it if you say it as a declaration that you refuse to be a slave to "outer events" or to your own ego thoughts. "The idea for today is also a particularly useful one to use as a response to any form of temptation that may arise. It is a declaration that you will not yield to it, and put yourself in bondage." (W.31.5.1-2)
This practice is truly a declaration of release from the bondage of the idea of victim and victimizer. Since the outer world and the inner world are the same, we apply the idea to both. We are simply watching our thoughts. "Watch them come and go as dispassionately as possible." (W.31.3.3)
"And in your freedom lies the freedom of the world." (W.31.4.3)
Recognize that the world is a product of your thoughts. If your thoughts change, your world will change. You are not here to save the world, but to change your mind about the world, and thus your world will change. Yes, the events may be the same, but the way you see them won't.
Love and blessings, Sarah