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| Happy People Win Newsletter |
Volume 6, Issue 12
December 2012 | |
| NOTE: if you are using Outlook to view this and it has strange spaces, please click on "click here to view it in Web browser" at the top and it will look as it was intended to look. ☺ Thanks!! |
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Difficult times. Some very depressing things happening.
So what to do? This is what I do.
I stop reading/listening to the negative news and rehashing of events (I couldn't tear myself away from the TV after 9/11 and I went into a deep funk) and focus more on the smaller, happier things I see in my daily life. Here is one example.
I was at an event and was hurriedly walking toward the room where I was speaking. I had to slow down; an older couple was in front of me, strolling and holding hands. Rather than speed past them, I slowed down, reflecting on the sweetness and feeling their connection. I wanted to be a part of it. So, sauntering up, I asked if I could join in and share the love. The gentleman offered me his hand and the three of us continued to walk down the hallway - holding hands and talking. Lovely moment. It turns out Jim's wife has Alzheimers. His love for her is astounding, her disease seems to have only increased his love for her after over 50 years of marriage. In fact, he is learning to play the banjo so she can sing while he plays her favorite songs.
So my reminder: stop and look around, enjoy the little things, talk to people, open your heart, hold hands with strangers. Good things happen. Like my meeting Jim and his wonderful family. BTW that is really us holding hands in the above photo!
My wish for you? A magical holiday season, full of friendship, love, health and happiness. Focus on the good, it is out there. ♥
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Marlin Harms
The discerning eye of Heidi Baird caught that I had incorrectly spelled Marlin's name wrong when I shared his amazing photograph in September. He takes some amazing ones, check out his Flicker site to see more or his work. GREAT holiday gifts! |
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Holiday Grief
The season of joy may be a season of sadness for many, especially those spending their first holiday without a loved one.
Create a balance between private time and social time. As I mentioned in the stress less holiday tips, it is OK to say no to parties and take some time for you.
Take care of yourself. Schedule a massage, read a good book, get enough sleep, have a few good friends over.
Stay in touch with your support groups. Not a good time to abandon your support team because you are too busy. Maybe even a good time to step up meetings, luncheons - wherever you get your support.
Include a memorial activity in holiday plans. We tell funny stories about my dad every holiday. There is an empty space without him and we miss him. A lot. I think I will share one story.
We have a big family, about 20 of us around the tree Christmas morning. Lots of time spent opening presents with lots of chaos (which includes our annual Xmas paper snowball fight). Before my dad developed Alzheimer's, my sister Mary had bought him a nice, expensive jacket and was excited to give it to him. She handed him the big beautifully wrapped box which he kept it on his lap, unopened, for a long time. Hours. Finally we told him to open it. He did and pulled out a ratty old jacket. What? We were all shocked and Mary was speechless. He grimaced and said, "Well...(pause)...thank you." With all the confusion we hadn't noticed that my dad left with the package between giving it to him and opening it. He went into his room, carefully unwrapped it and exchanged the gift for an old jacket he had, and then
meticulously wrapped it back up. Lots of trouble but it made us laugh. Good one dad. We miss you. ♥ |
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Harlow
When I was in Palm Springs, Phil, a friend of mine gave this to me. He said a family on his flight to PS passed them out to everyone on the plane. It was in a little bag with candy and some ear plugs. I was fortunate enough to meet the family in the hotel lobby. Corey and Michal Whitney (he is VP of Pacific West Pharmacy) are the parents of darling Harlow. What a great, fun and especially thoughtful idea. PS She didn't cry once on the flight! |
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If we have no peace, it is because
we have forgotten that we belong
to each other. - Mother Teresa
Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one. I hope
someday you'll join us, and the
world will be as one.
- John Lennon
The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart. The most powerful weapon you can be is an instrument of peace. - Carlos Santana
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Tips to Reduce Holiday Stress
Here are some of my favorite, much practiced tips:
Be Assertive: It is OK not to go
to every party you are invited to. My favorite assertiveness tip: Say yes to the person, no to the request. "I love/like/tolerate you, the party/request/invite/favor doesn't work for me. I am not able to attend/ do it." If they stop being your friend. Good. You don't need a friend like that. Really.
Simplify. I love that some of my neighbors go all out and decorate their house in a million lights. But that doesn't work for me. So I enjoy their lights and feel good about my decision. (I do however, keep small, white lights on my porch all year, it reminds me of Disneyland and makes me happy.)
Create new traditions. We forgo the big dinner on Christmas day and have sandwich makings and soup so people can munch when they feel like it. It just wasn't fun being in the kitchen all day. Another tradition? Rather than Black Friday shopping, I spend the day with friends painting pottery at a local business. No crowds, leftovers, laugher and you can even make a Christmas gift. Win/win.
Modify your expectations. I just read how many employees Martha Stewart has helping her make her home fabulous for the holidays. You don't. I don't. So put up what makes you comfortable. This year I have three things out (and I have about a dozen boxes of stuff) just not feeling it yet. And you know what? That is OK.
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