Anthropomorphize - A Christmas Story
an�thro�po�mor�phize
intransitive verb
to attribute human form or personality to things not human
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
by Lorilynn Bowles
A few years ago, just before Christmas, our son, Alex, came home from Petsmart with a pair of fuzzy reindeer antlers made for some poor dog to wear. Because there were festive little jingle bells attached to each of the fuzzy little points, our youngest Retriever, Annie, raced over to investigate. She clearly thought this was a new toy purchased for her gratification.
"Please don't put that on her," I said. "She will absolutely hate it." 
"How do you know?" replied Alex, waving the polyester antlers just above Annie's head. "Look how excited she is." Annie was indeed excited. Her little backside was wagging in anticipation of something soft, yet noisy, to chew on.
However, unlike Frosty the snowman -- "when they placed them on her head - she did not dance around." Instead, she looked absolutely mortified. Annie bent her head down, placed a paw firmly on the antler's tip and pulled the demeaning arrangement off her head.
"How did you know she should wouldn't like them?" asked my clearly disappointed offspring.
"Because they're humiliating," I replied. "I would be humiliated if you put those on MY head."
"Now, now Mom," my perceptive adult child grinned wickedly, "you're always reminding me that dogs are not people. You love throwing around that word 'anthropomorphize', so if you're saying Annie is humiliated because YOU would be humiliated - isn't that the same thing?"
It is a universal truth that children of all ages love pointing out the hypocrisy of their parents. In this case, my son was clearly right. I had assigned a human characteristic to my beloved dog. This deep, philosophical discussion was cut short, however, by the sound of smurf-size alarm bells going off. Our pack of Retrievers, four in all, were gleefully helping Annie to dismember the offending antlers.
That same December I was fortunate enough to work a gift wrapping shift with Sharon and her boy-Retriever, O'Malley. The big dog had on what can be loosely described as a canine Santa suit and appeared to be having a genuinely good time. O'Malley was getting heaps of attention from all the shoppers. Folks - clearly enjoying his good nature - dropped a few extra dollars into the rescue's 
donation jar. Faithful dog that he was, every few minutes or so O'Malley would look back to make sure that Sharon was close by, watching. Just like a lot of big, soppy guys, he was willing to do anything for the woman he loved. None of my girl-dogs would even consider putting on a red and white getup, let alone having four sleigh bells around their necks! Some males, however, will do remarkably silly things for the attention of a beautiful woman. See...anthropomorphizing again!
This brings me to a recent case of anthromorphization I caught myself engaged in. We have the privilege of looking after Samantha, one of GRRSN's permanent foster dogs. "Mantha," as we call her, was 14 when she was surrendered to the rescue. Her people didn't feel they had the time to take care of an elderly dog. She is deaf, can't use a doggy door, has a bit of trouble moving around and has occasional moments of dementia. I work from home, so we have an ideal situation for a golden in her "golden" years. The good souls of the rescue pay for medications and our family provides food, the companionship of a pack, physical assistance and that most precious of resources, time. Samantha is now 15 years and 6 months old and seems to be having a pretty good time in her retirement. Happily, this will be her second Christmas with us.
A friend who I love very much, but is not a dog person, dropped in for a cup of coffee. We were in the kitchen and I had just lifted 'Mantha over the threshold of the back door so she could go out. My friend asked casually why we took on such an old dog. The reply was out of my mouth so fast it surprised us both, "Because I can imagine myself in her position - old, all alone, and needing help getting to the bathroom."
A moment of uncomfortable silence ensued -- followed by much giggling! My need for bathroom breaks and encyclopedic knowledge of public bathroom locations is legendary. So there it was -- anthropomorphizing again to the 'nth degree. Except, in this case, it was a person assigning the characteristics of dog to herself. Maybe that's what makes us human.... or at the very least....humane. Happy Holidays!
Epilogue: If you just read this, you are probably a dog-person and more than likely a Retriever-person. We know that this time of year is rushed and that every charity in town is asking for your time or your money. GRRSN is no different. We need cash to help dogs like Samantha and all the other retrievers we take in. So if you're short on time, but you can make a donation of even of $20, please click the link below. We can accept credit cards or PayPal. If you have some time (we're only asking for 3 hours), please volunteer at one of our gift wrapping locations. The donations we earn from this event go a long way helping with expenses for the Goldens that we rescue. Go to the GRRSN website any day, any time and you'll see the living, barking proof of the good work your generosity has done. Thank you!
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The Dog House partners with 
hand in hand. Need the perfect hostess gift? How about a nice bottle of wine? GRRSN has raised $1358.00 through our partnership with Benefit Wines. Let's use the season of celebrations to add to our total. After all, any 
TCC Tales sells note cards with a paw print design and themes that all dog lovers will appreciate. Plus, GRRSN will benefit from your purchase. 