Greetings!    

Over 50% of marriages end in divorce due to many reasons:  incompatibility, betrayal, substance abuse, attachment problems, faulty communication.  Many people lacked role models of healthy long-term love and commitment growing up.  When partners are committed to creating a healthy relationship, old wounds can be healed and new ways of relating can be learned.  The traits of healthy and happy couples are:

• Partners have "come to terms" with their past and are able to fully invest in the relationship.
• Able to balance togetherness and autonomy, dependence and independence.
• Can trust and rely on one another; be a "secure base" for each other.
• Have good communication and problem-solving skills; respectful and constructive when talking about conflicts and disagreements.
• Don't become defensive, angry, critical or aggressive when partner shares feelings or gives feedback; apologize for wrongdoings.  
• Share power and control; a partnership between equals.
• Meet one another's needs for security, support, affection and love.
• Both take responsibility for their own part in problems and solutions; no blaming, avoiding or stonewalling.
• Keep the relationship alive, vital and a priority; spend time, have fun, show love regularly.
• Use self-control; don't take-out stress and frustration on partner.
• Resolve problems; ongoing repair of grievances and wounds so hurts don't grow into big resentments.
• Adapt successfully to changes and challenges, such as having children; a united team in raising children.
• Both are comfortable with closeness; do not take part in destructive dynamics, such as "pursue-distance" pattern.
• Share basic values, interests and moral codes of behavior.