So with the month of January already behind us, it's safe to say that we have transitioned into 2014. Now that doesn't necessarily mean everything is smooth sailing. As with any transition, it's a process. There are perhaps still goals or intentions to be set and I'd bet there are still things to let go of from the past year/s that might be lingering around - making it more challenging to truly be HERE. And if you're not yet HERE, it will be even more challenging to propel forward and get to wherever it is you'd like to go this year and in those to come. No matter where you are right now, it's ok. Remember, transition  is a process.

One of my intentions this year is to be clearer about my messages and tools and coaching when it comes to transition. Usually when people come to me for coaching, there has been a big change in their lives or they are wanting to make one. Often, they've had some big event happen that they're having a hard time adjusting to. It could be a breakup, a health issue, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job. Sometimes, they've chosen to make the change themselves - perhaps they've left a job or a relationship they were unhappy in -and so it's a little surprising to them, that the process after the change is so challenging. 'But I wanted this', they say. 'Why is this so hard?'

The thing is change and transition can be disorienting. When we're in the midst of it, whether we chose the initial change or not, we can feel very lost and directionless. Sometimes the change goes so deep that it feels as if life as we know it is over. And because of that, it can be easy to feel like we're losing ourselves a little bit or even a lot. Sometimes, it's even difficult to recognize ourselves. Has that ever happened to you?

I love to support people in times of transition. Transition is such a rich process and it's full of amazing gifts. Whether you're in the midst of transition yourself or not, seeing some of these gifts can give you another perspective on these special periods of change. Let's take three of my favorite transition gifts here and see what they have to offer us.

1. Transition allows us to shed what no longer serves us & to build (re-build) our foundation. Of course we always have the opportunity to let go of what isn't working for us anymore. But when we want a change or a change has taken place, it's natural that certain things will just fall away. Sometimes this happens effortlessly as a circumstance has changed. If you quit a job or even if you were let go, you might discover that there was a lot about that job that you didn't enjoy. It's not until it's gone, that we notice how 'wrong' it was for us. Sometimes we can feel a big void at first because we're so used to having something in our lives. Stepping back, though, we might say, 'Oh hey, now that I don't have that, I'd much rather be doing THIS.'

     

   So this shedding process is an excellent way to see what is truly important to us. It shows us what gives us energy and what takes energy from us. It shows us what helps us connect with the true part of ourselves and what leaves us disconnected. Knowing this, feeling it and living from here is what I call having a solid foundation.. It's in the shedding process that we get to see how strong that foundation is. It's when a change takes place that the cracks become visible. When you experience a breakup, you might feel this HUGE void and realize how much of your identity was based on that other person or even your expectations about who you thought you 'should' be in the relationship. In the midst of transition, you can see this 'crack' and alone or with support you can start filling that crack in so that you are standing firmly going forward.

     

2. Transition is a time of reinvention - reinventing and re-defining ourselves in some way in order to fit into a new circumstance. In addition to allowing you to evaluate, re-build and strengthen your foundation, transition gives you an amazing opportunity to experiment and explore other ways of being. Say, your #1 job has been being a mother and home nurturer for many years. Your children are heading off to college now, though, and it's leaving you feeling a little confused and directionless. Where will you put your energy? Well, you could stay in the mother/nurturer space and continue to play this role for your children even though they have transitioned into a new phase in their own lives. If you do this, you are not utilizing the power of this transition time. You might know someone who has done this in some way. When we don't take the time to re-define and re-evaluate, it catches up with us in the end. At some point, we feel as if life has passed us by and there can be feelings of being stuck and unfulfilled. Instead, we can look around and say, 'Ok. What is this change allowing for in my life right now? Who do I want to be now that this change has taken place?'

     

3. If we accept the challenge, transition can take us to our edge & leave us with our eyes wide open. Whether it's an internal or external shift, times of change can often bring us to an uncomfortable edge. Even if we're not so happy with a situation, it can feel much easier to stay where we are instead of venturing out to the unknown. When we make a change or especially when a change 'happens' to us, the unknown is right under our nose. This might sound a bit scary. And to be honest, it can feel scary too. AND when we allow ourselves to be in this uncomfortable space, so much is possible. I've seen this time and again in my own life and my work with clients shows me this over and over.