One of the things I enjoy most about running my own business is following its evolution. I love seeing how ideas come and go and then come back again. I love seeing how clients find me, often times coming in clusters, more often than not with similar issues they want to focus on. I love seeing how my coaching evolves and how my tools and focus shifts as the clients shift.

As 2013 is coming to a close, I'm reflecting on the year - on its highlights both personally and professionally. I'm reflecting on the sessions I've had with amazing clients and the incredible insights they've had and shifts they've made. That makes this a perfect time to shine some light on an emotion that so many people find elusive or at least maybe a bit mysterious. This month, let's shine some light on Joy.

Joy has been a common theme this year - clients missing it, defining it, searching for it, feeling it in ways they never have before. It's one of those things that people talk about wanting, but until they really think about it, they might not really even know what it feels like. So one of the assignments I've given clients this year is to go on a Joy Expedition. As you know and as I say in most newsletters, what we focus on gets stronger. So getting more information about Joy and exploring it can only serve to bring more of it in. So no matter what you discover, it sounds like you'll win regardless.

So Question 1: What does joy feel like for you? When you feel it, is there a particular sensation in your body somewhere? Maybe you feel it in your chest, an opening in your heart or maybe a warmth in your stomach, or maybe it's a tingly sensation all over your body. Do a little research and bring some awareness to this in the next few weeks and see what you discover. When we get more in touch with the feelings in our body, we can experience emotions in an even deeper way. It's not just a 'head-y' experience of 'oh hey, I'm feeling pretty happy right now.' Instead, if we can actually feel it in our bodies as well, it allows us to connect with the joy in a different way. When we focus on this, we can prolong the feeling and experience it more fully.

Ok, ready for the next question? #2: What kinds of things bring you joy and when was the last time you experienced it? (I know, I'm tricky and snuck two questions in there!) Think back to yesterday or last week, and recall the times that you felt joyful. Many times when I first ask my clients this, they say it has been a while. Then they think more carefully and they almost always come up with several moments when they felt true and pure joy - sometimes very recently. Sometimes these were brief moments. And since they were brief, it's easy to forget they were there. A lot of times, when we start talking about it, my clients realize that they actually have many joyful moments and times. It just hasn't been their focus.

The thing is, when there are things to get done and challenges to be met, it is often THESE things that get our focus. We need to figure out the next steps to something or make sure that everyone/everything is taken care of as it needs to be. And when we focus on THIS....yes, you guessed it. Then we get and see and feel more of it - the problems to be solved, the things to be done. So instead, what might happen if you bring some of that focus onto those joyful moments you have each day - no matter how small they may seem? And once you start noticing what brings you joy and when you feel it, you can do what you can to call In even more of those experiences.

OK. That brings us to Part 3 of the Joy Expedition. When you DO feel joy - in whatever way - linger in this joy space a little bit longer than usual and see what happens. This step is almost automatic once we do #1 and #2 since the more awareness we have about joy, the more we understand, 'Wow, this joy thing is pretty cool. I think I want to feel more of this.' And this step can be especially rewarding for people going through a challenging time. Sadness & Joy are on the same continuum - more joy just means less sadness and vice versa. When we're in the midst of sadness it's important to be there. AND finding, noticing and being IN a Joy moment can be a wonderful part of the healing process - a way to move through the sadness/challenge in an easeful way.

So the Joy Expedition has a few more parts, but I'll leave you with those for now. And the reason I wanted to shine some light on Joy this month is because of the holiday season. This is quite an interesting time of year - it can feel overwhelming, too busy or not busy enough. It can feel lonely for some people and for others, the thing they wish most for is to have a little more alone time. Many times, we have high expectations for the holidays and afterwards, we feel disappointed as those expectations weren't met - either by ourselves, circumstances or by others.

I could write a whole newsletter (or several!) on the concept of expectations since they are quite a rich topic and they are responsible for a lot of the struggles we go through and put ourselves through. For now, I just invite you to be aware of the expectations you have - you don't have to judge them or even believe them. Just be aware of them. And then...instead of focusing on them, why not focus on the Joy this holiday season? Find those moments when you feel full, content, fulfilled and be IN them. This could include connecting with someone on a deeper level than you ever have before, even briefly. It could include taking time to REALLY taste your food as you eat a holiday meal. Or maybe it's witnessing someone else's joy - a loved one or a child who is living in the excitement of the season.