Valentino Coaching Newsletter


December 2013

In this issue
Shining Light on Joy
New Year's Special
Looking for the perfect holiday gift?
What People Are Saying



Wow - it's amazing to me that the last month of the year is already upon us. These last couple of months are quite unique - with holidays, celebrations, completing things so we can start anew in the New Year, etc. It's also such a dark time and while my years in the Nordic countries made me VERY sensitive to the darkness, I notice how much I love the light this time of year. It's an intense sunlight that seems to say..."I'm just here for a few hours, so let's make this spectacular!" So with this newsletter, I'd like to do the same thing - to shine the light in order to make this month as spectacular as possible.
And lastly, I wanted to share a few last 2013 thoughts. I'm grateful for many, many things this year. I could share many of those gratitudes, and the one I want to express to you is my gratitude to all of you as my readers. I've been writing these newsletters for 3 years now - my subscription list is growing and the feedback I receive lets me know that the messages that these newsletters contain are appreciated. So thank you for reading, for forwarding this to anyone you think might be interested in reading it and for being in my life - in any form that takes. I wish you an enjoyable December and a joy-filled holiday season.
With warmth,
Small Shifts
Joy Mood Lady
Shining Light on Joy

One of the things I enjoy most about running my own business is following its evolution. I love seeing how ideas come and go and then come back again. I love seeing how clients find me, often times coming in clusters, more often than not with similar issues they want to focus on. I love seeing how my coaching evolves and how my tools and focus shifts as the clients shift.


As 2013 is coming to a close, I'm reflecting on the year - on its highlights both personally and professionally. I'm reflecting on the sessions I've had with amazing clients and the incredible insights they've had and shifts they've made. That makes this a perfect time to shine some light on an emotion that so many people find elusive or at least maybe a bit mysterious. This month, let's shine some light on Joy.


Joy has been a common theme this year - clients missing it, defining it, searching for it, feeling it in ways they never have before. It's one of those things that people talk about wanting, but until they really think about it, they might not really even know what it feels like. So one of the assignments I've given clients this year is to go on a Joy Expedition. As you know and as I say in most newsletters, what we focus on gets stronger. So getting more information about Joy and exploring it can only serve to bring more of it in. So no matter what you discover, it sounds like you'll win regardless.


So Question 1: What does joy feel like for you? When you feel it, is there a particular sensation in your body somewhere? Maybe you feel it in your chest, an opening in your heart or maybe a warmth in your stomach, or maybe it's a tingly sensation all over your body. Do a little research and bring some awareness to this in the next few weeks and see what you discover. When we get more in touch with the feelings in our body, we can experience emotions in an even deeper way. It's not just a 'head-y' experience of 'oh hey, I'm feeling pretty happy right now.' Instead, if we can actually feel it in our bodies as well, it allows us to connect with the joy in a different way. When we focus on this, we can prolong the feeling and experience it more fully.


Ok, ready for the next question? #2: What kinds of things bring you joy and when was the last time you experienced it? (I know, I'm tricky and snuck two questions in there!) Think back to yesterday or last week, and recall the times that you felt joyful. Many times when I first ask my clients this, they say it has been a while. Then they think more carefully and they almost always come up with several moments when they felt true and pure joy - sometimes very recently. Sometimes these were brief moments. And since they were brief, it's easy to forget they were there. A lot of times, when we start talking about it, my clients realize that they actually have many joyful moments and times. It just hasn't been their focus.


The thing is, when there are things to get done and challenges to be met, it is often THESE things that get our focus. We need to figure out the next steps to something or make sure that everyone/everything is taken care of as it needs to be. And when we focus on THIS....yes, you guessed it. Then we get and see and feel more of it - the problems to be solved, the things to be done. So instead, what might happen if you bring some of that focus onto those joyful moments you have each day - no matter how small they may seem? And once you start noticing what brings you joy and when you feel it, you can do what you can to call In even more of those experiences.


OK. That brings us to Part 3 of the Joy Expedition. When you DO feel joy - in whatever way - linger in this joy space a little bit longer than usual and see what happens. This step is almost automatic once we do #1 and #2 since the more awareness we have about joy, the more we understand, 'Wow, this joy thing is pretty cool. I think I want to feel more of this.' And this step can be especially rewarding for people going through a challenging time. Sadness & Joy are on the same continuum - more joy just means less sadness and vice versa. When we're in the midst of sadness it's important to be there. AND finding, noticing and being IN a Joy moment can be a wonderful part of the healing process - a way to move through the sadness/challenge in an easeful way.


So the Joy Expedition has a few more parts, but I'll leave you with those for now. And the reason I wanted to shine some light on Joy this month is because of the holiday season. This is quite an interesting time of year - it can feel overwhelming, too busy or not busy enough. It can feel lonely for some people and for others, the thing they wish most for is to have a little more alone time. Many times, we have high expectations for the holidays and afterwards, we feel disappointed as those expectations weren't met - either by ourselves, circumstances or by others.


I could write a whole newsletter (or several!) on the concept of expectations since they are quite a rich topic and they are responsible for a lot of the struggles we go through and put ourselves through. For now, I just invite you to be aware of the expectations you have - you don't have to judge them or even believe them. Just be aware of them. And then...instead of focusing on them, why not focus on the Joy this holiday season? Find those moments when you feel full, content, fulfilled and be IN them. This could include connecting with someone on a deeper level than you ever have before, even briefly. It could include taking time to REALLY taste your food as you eat a holiday meal. Or maybe it's witnessing someone else's joy - a loved one or a child who is living in the excitement of the season.


So instead of having an agenda about how things 'should' go - how you should behave, how family or friends should behave, how the food will be or the table set, what will happen or won't happen - I invite you to keep shining light on the Joy. See it, notice it, feel it, express it. Find it wherever you can. Be curious about how it shows up. My 2013 parting wish for you is that you cherish all your joyful moments this holiday season and beyond.


New Year's Special
Are you ready to make 2014 your best year yet?
My friend and colleague Denise Elizabeth Byron and I are offering an amazing New Year's Special to support you in doing just that!. Read more here.


Mood Ladies


The Mood Ladies make a perfect holiday gift!


These cards engage us in developing and deepening our self-understanding. To create a satisfying, rich life, we must first know who we are, what our real needs are, what brings us joy. The Mood Ladies are a powerful aid in awakening that understanding.


Buy your own set or read more about the cards here. You can also follow the Mood Ladies on Facebook by clicking here.



Janette helped me to get focused on what is important to me in my business, sessions with her helped me to clarify my goals and see the areas of my business that needed most attention. She is very flexibly minded and compassionate. I also enjoy the pack of "Mood Lady Coaching Cards" which were included in my coaching package. I use them to find insight and suggestions, the images are really nicely done. Its my own little inspirational art gallery I can take in my purse. I look forward to working with her again when I move into the next leg of my journey as a business woman. C.M. Massage Therapist, California


Janette is an extraordinary coach!  Her questions guide me to a deeper understanding of myself and provide amazing clarity.  The chaos of daily life tends to cloud both my personal and professional experiences.  And, one of Janette's many gifts is she brings an awakening to those experiences that I present to her.  She shows me possibilities of situations that I would never think of myself, and how I have the power to make choices.  The Mood Lady cards that Janette has created are a reflection of Janette's beauty and coaching expertise.  I pick a card each morning and it allows me to be present with my day.  Janette and the Mood Ladies have made such a positive impact on my life allowing me to breathe deeper and be in my truth.  I highly recommend Janette to women seeking clarity around a current, past and/or anticipated transition, both personally and professionally. C. J., Mortgage Consultant, California



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Website: Find out more about coaching with Janette & follow her Blog here. 
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Valentino Coaching
Phone: +1 559 285 8020