P-L-A-A-A-Y...... (That's me calling Play!) Where'd you go, Play? In childhood, we were encouraged to be with you, to nurture you, to explore you. And then, there came a point when we were taught that focusing on you was wasting time, was unproductive, or at least was meant for very specific (and limited) times. We know that what we focus on expands so it's not so strange that you have disappeared from sight for many of us.

OK. I'll stop speaking with Play now and bring you into the conversation instead. So how about you? Has Play been a part of your life lately and what does Play look and feel like, anyway? Do you focus on Play? If so, when do you do this and how? If not, when was the last time you did something that felt like Play? I know, that's a lot of questions to start with. Let's just take one at a time....

Before we start, though, let's see how the 'word experts' define Play. Oxford Dictionary (www.oxforddictionaries.com) defines play like this: engagement in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose. Oh yes, looking at the definition does bring back the feeling of play. Do you remember? Of course for most of us, play was a part of our childhood. I know it was for me. I can remember lots of playing in the neighborhood I grew up in - there were all kinds of playing activities, such as tag, riding bikes, skating, being in the swimming pool for hours, board games etc. I can remember the feeling of those playing days - it felt free and carefree as well as fun and connected. We certainly had no practical purpose and as kids, we weren't expected to. We were encouraged to be out and entertain ourselves, which we gladly did.

Of course as we get older, our focus changes and most often we're encouraged to make the shift over to practical endeavors - ones that will lead to something, make us money, have some 'worthy' purpose. When we start focusing on making money and being practical, a different tone often comes in, sometimes without us even being aware of it. And this tone is a LACK of play. You know the one I mean - when things start feeling extremely serious and very heavy?

When there's a lack of Play, the world feels small and stagnant. It's easy to see only what's right in front of you. We're so focused on solving or fixing or making it work, we only see a tiny bit of life. Things can feel tight and constricted and as if there's no room to take a rejuvenating breath. All we get when we breathe in are those shallow little intakes of air - just enough to keep us going, but not enough to fill us up.

I often talk with my clients about inviting Play in. Sometimes just asking the question - Is there a way to make this lighter or even playful? - can give clients the support to broaden their focus. This can be a literal thing - like using fun notebooks or stickers or colorful pens when beginning a writing task that feels heavy for them. Or maybe taking a break in between tasks with a favorite song and a quick living room dance. Or maybe you have some activity that feels like play for you - playing an instrument, drawing, cooking - that can help lighten things up a bit. The playful opportunities are really endless.

Inviting Play in can also be more of a perspective shift as well. The way we look at things has a huge effect on how things feel. If you talk about things being difficult, they feel difficult. Again it's about focus - if we feel say it's difficult and talk about it being difficult, that's all we can see. So what might happen if you bring in Play here? What if you start by just using the word Play more often - like 'I think I might play with that a bit'? Be curious and explore - when can you use this word and what happens when you do?

Playing with Play can also be quite healing. Recently I started a new project. I'm extremely excited about the project and at the same time, I can feel all kinds of old thoughts coming up about succeeding with it. I can feel the hints of anxiety and pressure that I put on myself - some need to 'prove' . In the past, I know I could've easily gotten stuck here - THIS is where I would've lived. Sure, I would've gotten the project done and I would've 'succeeded'. AND getting there would've felt very heavy, very serious and VERY constricted.

Instead, I now know I can invite some Play in. For me, this means lots of different things. It means having beautiful colorful goal lists, it means giving myself a sticker now and then - the last one I gave myself said "Awesome". It means being playful and creative when it comes to the hours I put in. It means keeping my attitude playful when I make the necessary and sometimes challenging phone calls. It means focusing on what things FEEL like Play for me - connecting with others, helping and supporting people, being inspiring and inspired. When I focus on these things while I'm working on this project, my focus is off the seriousness and the heaviness of having to 'perform' and on the joy of engaging in the activity at hand.