|
Where's YOUR Light?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 | | Light Mood Lady |
I'm allergic to the darkness. Is that possible? Yeah, probably not. Ok then...I'll try again. I'll say that since living in the Nordic lands (Sweden & Finland) for many years, I am extremely sensitive to the lack of light. Even though I have lived back in California for 2 years now, I can still feel as if my body wants to drink up the light - especially right now at the darkest time of the year (which isn't dark at all compared to those places that REALLY see darkness). So, I thought it only fitting to end this year of newsletters with something on the opposite spectrum of the darkness scale. So I invite you to come with me on a little Light journey to see what we discover.
I know that it's natural at this time of year to want to hibernate a bit. It's important to follow the natural rhythm of our bodies in this season. At the same time, I like to be contrary. I like to do the opposite of what's expected - not in a rebellious (ok, well maybe just a little!) or reactionary way, but in a way that feels creative and conscious. So, while listening to my body's need for more rest, I also listen to its need to flood it with as much light as possible. This has made me very aware of what things FEEL dark and heavy, and what things are full of lightness. It has also made me curious about how we can access the light within when that darkness overcomes us.
I had a remarkable and rewarding experience with this just the other day with one of my clients. As we began our coaching conversation, it was evident that there was a heaviness in her voice and that she was in a place that was a little dark. At first I did my coaching best to open some doors and windows to let a little light in. She was having nothing of it. And she told me that actually, what she needed was to have someone accept where she was and just be there with her. At first, I felt like I had done her a disservice by not being able to read how deeply she was in the darkness. I acknowledged her ability to really say what she needed. She told me she had never done that before and I realized how beneficial her honesty and request (and me missing what I missed) was for both her and for me. I honored her request and remained with her where she was - we explored the darkness a bit, not judging it or resisting it; we were just there with it.
As we spoke, an interesting thing happened. I listened mostly and just let her explore what was around her - some of the thoughts and the feelings that were going on. Once the resistance to the darkness was gone, I heard an acceptance, an allowance. Then, with just a nudge of questioning from me, she started shifting over to things that brought her comfort, even in these times of darkness. For example, one of the things she found most enjoyable was gratitude. As soon as she sad this, her voice softened and I heard the slightest lilt in her voice. There was an energy that had been absent up until this point and now it was back, as her voice is usually very full of energy. She started listing ALL the things she was grateful for right now. It was a long, beautiful list of large and small things. By this point, there was a day and night difference between the sound of her voice at the beginning of the call & now. I won't say the darkness was gone; but there was a lightness around or in the midst of the darkness. And I heard that she had found HER light - something to support her, to guide her.
Whether or not you are in the darkness, finding things that bring YOU light is such a useful tool. A great way to get really clear about this is sometimes starting with the things that bring a sense of heaviness with them. Maybe it's a certain routine or task or maybe it's a relationship or something you know you need to do, but don't want to do, or maybe it's the holiday season, maybe it's the worry that consumes you about a particular thing, maybe it's your expectations that never seem to be met. I invite you to be curious about this in the next month. When do you feel the heaviness? Don't worry about trying to 'fix' it or get rid of it - just be curious. Notice when it creeps in, when you feel it most. And a simple question to ask yourself when you feel ready for a shift to more light is, "What can I do right now to bring in a bit more lightness?" or "How can I make this feel a little lighter right now?"
Sometimes we are deep in the darkness and can't seem to get out. This is when it can helpful to get support - in a healthy way that works best for you (a therapist, a coach, a trusted friend, a support group). And sometimes we are in the darkness and know it's just a phase - we know that right now, we are just THERE and it feels important to feel it and to know that it will pass. Just as my client did, this can be the time to accept and allow instead of resisting. At the same time, you can try opening a window now and then and see if it's time to let the light in.
So how do you let YOUR light in? How do you connect with that light when there's a lot of darkness around? Do you have a tool that works for you - like my client? What helps YOU feel lighter? Does gratitude bring in a little light? Is it laughter perhaps? Maybe it's spending time with children - those beautiful beings who are often refreshingly present, accepting and honest. Or maybe it's connecting with a certain person or activity like singing, gardening, dancing or some creative endeavor. It could be spending time in nature or somewhere with special memories or energy. It could also be spending time quietly by yourself - either journaling or just being. Maybe it is being truly present, with yourself or someone else. And maybe it's actually appreciating the light - literally. Watching how the light shines and illuminates certain things in certain ways can be an excellent way to feel the light emerging inside.
Knowing how you connect with the light gives you a lot of information You can use this information, when things feel heavy. It doesn't mean we always will or want to escape the heaviness. It does mean that we can use these things that help us connect with lightness when we're ready. When we have this information, we're able to make more conscious choices and more able to connect with that ultimate creativity that I talked about last month (read it here, if you missed it). Yes, it can be easy to focus on the darkness, especially at this dark time of year. And I realize, there are plenty heavy things to feel heavy about - all we have to do is listen to the news. Just remember, it's a choice - every day and every minute, you have the choice of where you are focusing.
So, as you move through the rest of this month and into January, I invite you to play with all this a bit. I invite you to explore what helps you connect with that light inside and brings that feeling of lightness to the outside. How can you do this throughout the holiday season? How can you focus on the things that truly matter and that FILL you up in a light and connected way? What happens when you focus on the light side of things and find ways of bringing a light slant in to those areas that don't feel so light? Notice how it feels INSIDE when the focus is on opening the windows to let more light in. Enjoy the exploration of the light this next month and I'll see you again in the new year.
|
