Dynamite Coaching News 
September 2015  
In This Issue
Say "Pop" Rather Than Spelling It.
Communicate For Sucess With Coach-Like Approach Techniques
COMMUNICATE FOR SUCCESS!

Location now set for upcoming "Communicate for Success" course
King's University 9125-50st Edmonton

$5 dollars from each registration to be donated to the Edmonton food bank

 


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Quote of the Month:

"Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them is making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?"
               
~ Jerry Seinfeld 
What is Coaching?


 Are you curious about coaching and want to learn more? New appointments now available. Contact Coach Mark for a complimentary, no-obligation coaching session and experience the benefits first hand. Your goals await. Act today.  

How does the World see you?

12. The greatest value you can add is to become more of yourself. 
On some level, we all have a fear of being fascinating. When you rise above the fear, you rise above the fray.

11. You won't make a difference being quiet or loud. You make a difference by being heard. 
No matter what your natural communication style, you learn how it's being perceived by others. In order to communicate, you must learn how you communicate.

10. To be more successful, don't change who you are. Become more of it. 
When you live according to your own highest value, you become your most fascinating-and most valuable.

9. Stand out, or don't bother. 
Understand how the world sees you, and you will discover your most valuable differences. Leverage these differences to avoid commoditization.

8. Clients don't hire you because you're balanced. They hire you because you're extraordinary in some way.
You can either be balanced vanilla, or extraordinary pistachio.

7. You'll never rise to the top by being all things to all people. 
If you can't improve someone's perception of you, or at the very least maintain it, then reconsider whether you should be engaging them in the first place. Stop exhausting yourself trying to be all things to all people.

6. 100% yourself is greater than 100% perfect. 
The more you can amplify your natural Advantages, the more likely you are to be heard and remembered.

5. You don't learn to be fascinating. You unlearn boring. 
Being yourself is not a struggle. In fact, it makes you more relaxed and at ease.

4. You don't have to find the light. You are the light. On the day you were born, you already knew how to fascinate. Fascination is an instinctive form of connection.

3. Your personality is the greatest differentiator you have. 
People can copy your product, your pricing, your actions, your recipe or program or formula. But they can never replicate who you are.

2. The way to empower someone is to show them their value. 
Once someone understands how they naturally add value, they blossom. They become more confident, more persuasive, and more influential.

1. The world is not changed by people who sort of care. 
Sort of caring will get you run over by someone who actually does care. Sort of caring is the on-ramp to obsolescence-- a road that starts comfortably enough, but soon leads to the lonesomeness of obscurity. The world is changed by people who passionately, relentlessly care-- sometimes, unreasonably so.

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What Our Clients Are Saying...

"It is hard to put into words the value that I have received from working with Mark. He has turned on so many light-bulbs within me, I feel like a new person. Before my sessions with Mark, I felt like I was paddling upstream and constantly battling with life to get ahead. Mark has helped me to see my own personal power, strength and self-worth. Mark's coaching style has a way to dive deep to touch something within that feels like it's been hidden for a long time. Our conversations always bring clarity and understanding and for that Mark, I am beyond grateful. Thank you for being a part of this wonderful journey Mark!"

~ Shannon Hillier
Say "Pop" Rather Than Spelling It

My son, Aaron, is now 15 years old and I'm 50. Quick math would prove I'm definitely older, but does this mean I'm automatically wiser? I'm not so sure. In life learning opportunities occur every day, in fact multiple times each day, and we learn best when we are willing to open our hearts and minds to the lessons being offered.

It is said that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. And I believe this to be true.

And so I'd like to share the story with you of how my son became the teacher and I the student.

Would it be fair to say that no one truly knows how another person feels? Unless they tell us, and even then they may not share the whole truth.

So do we ever really know? Probably not, but we are influential and how we treat and talk to others can go a long ways towards how they feel about themselves.

When Aaron was maybe 7 or 8, he had already been playing hockey for several years. And like the other hockey parents we'd sit in the stands and watch our kids practice. There were times as I watched Aaron he looked timid to me. When a new drill started I saw him purposefully maneuvering himself to the back of the line so he wouldn't have to go first. He looked confused on the ice and unsure of himself, and when "I" compared him to the other kids on the team I was his harshest critic. As his dad, I wanted him to succeed so I felt it was time to share my years of worldly wisdom (insert joke here) thus helping him excel.  
 
So what did I do? I waited till we got in the car to drive home and then I gave him my best motivational speech (meaning that I trapped him in a confined space and began my soliloquy). I told him in no uncertain terms that if he wanted to be successful he had to go after the puck, be first, show initiative, grab the tiger by the tail! Be the first man on the ice and the last one off. Never give up. Push past the pain. I told him he'd only succeed through hard work and perseverance.

His reply......................................................Silence.

By passing on this advice I felt confident I was setting him up for high achievement and success not only in hockey but in all areas of life. Or so I thought.

What transpired before my eyes was exactly the opposite. He didn't succeed at all; in fact he withdrew even further and tried less.

My "motivational" speech wasn't working. I had paralyzed him.
And for me this is when the lesson began, and thankfully I was open and ready to learn it?

When I asked Aaron how he liked hockey he told me a half-truth... he said "it's okay I guess."

But it wasn't okay.

In that moment I realized "I"needed to change how I was communicating with my son. 

So I told Aaron from now on when it came to hockey there would be 3 rules:

Number 1 rule - Have fun!

Number 2 rule - Have fun!

And

The 3rd rule - if we go out for a Pop after the game say it, rather than spell it because the guy behind the counter is only a teenager and trained to give you what you ask for and if you spell pop mistakenly as poop you'll get what you ask for. And nobody wants poop! This was designed to make him laugh and was a play on the first 2 rules. (Yes it was lame, but it worked)

I repeat, nobody wants poop, but by putting all that pressure on my son to be perfect, I was making him feel like poop. And in reality I was the real poop. There was lots of poop to be had.

As I changed how I talked with him I learned he really did like hockey and he enjoyed playing with his friends, but, like all of us, there were times when he was unsure of what was being asked of him and he was afraid to fail. Slowly we began to talk about this together.

As I began to change the way I communicated our drives home after practice began to change. I was listening more to what Aaron had to say and to what he wanted to talk about. He began having more fun, and you could see his effort on the ice beginning to change.

Brain research shows that when anxiety goes up intelligence and creativity goes down. Conversely and more importantly then as we lower our anxiety we allow our intelligence and creativity to explode!! And that is exactly what happened. By having more fun I watched Aaron change on the ice(and in life). He was enjoying himself and succeeding, demonstrating more self-directed hard work and determination. He was now the one driving his progressions, challenging himself and moving himself to the front of the line.

He began to excel.

Skip ahead to 2015, Aaron's now 15 and in his 3rd year of running track. This past August in Montreal he competed in the Legion's Youth National Track and Field Championships. In the Boys U16 100 meter hurdles he set a new National Record running faster than any other U16 boy in the country since the meet's inception in the 70's. Also competing in the Pentathlon event he was victorious becoming the #1 ranked U16 Pentathlete in Canada setting a new Alberta Provincial Record in the process and nearly besting the National Record. And as the competition came to a close we learned that Aaron was named the Most Outstanding Athlete of the entire meet chosen among all athletes, from all provinces and all ages.

Now when I bring up the old "fun, fun and say poop" story with him it's just lame. But it's a National Champ who's telling me it's lame. A National Champ that at the age of 8 knew more than I did about how we can make others feel by how we talk to them.

I hope I never forget that lesson. I know it's okay to make mistakes. Everyone does, sometimes we say the wrong things or misread the situation and mess up, and sometimes we fail. I think the learning comes in realizing it's not the mistake so much as it is what we do after it that's important and how we use it to support the learning and growing that comes from it.

I guess you could say mistakes are like Poop;
   
"Even a little Poop or Manure is necessary sometimes to grow flowers."

Or in this case a National Champion and an even better Human Being. Thanks for the lesson son. I'm always open to learning.

Communicate For Success  
 
Upcoming Classes:  
 
Edmonton
Date: Saturday, October 3rd, 2015
Time: 8:30am to 4:30pm
Location: King's University 9125- 50st Room N201
(location and date subject to change)
 
This class is for EVERYONE who wants to improve how they Deal with Change and Communicate with both themselves and others.
  • Learn the difference between the Inquiry and Advocacy models to support achieving a higher grade in clearer communication
  • Learn how to deal with conflict
  • Learn how to demonstrate and practice leadership skills
  • Learn how to improve listening skills critical to effective communication
  • Learn how to remove frustrated and boxed-in thinking and employ Solution Focused Ideology
  • Learn how to run a meeting with engagement and buy in from your staff
  • Learn how to talk to your spouse, partner, and others without judgement and create a deeper more meaningful conversation
  • Learn how to build leaders and practice leadership
Communication is at the very heart of everything we do and it's being recognized that Coach-Like Approach Communication Techniques are being used more and more to improve the way we speak to each other and to ourselves.
 
The culture in our workplaces is changing and how we communicate needs to change along with it. 75% of the Fortune 1000 companies have already brought in Coach-Like Approach methodology to support their organizations.
 
 What about you? Are you ready for a change?
 
Bonus: If you are Canfitpro certified in any of the following designations (PTS, FIS, NWS, NWL, OAS, and PFS) and in need of re-certification credits this class is sanctioned by Canfitpro to offer your full yearly requirement of 4 CEC's.   

 
 Reserve your spot today!   
 
   
What people are saying about the course:

"If you would like to take away real tools, real examples and how to apply that to your everyday life, Coach Mark's "Communicate For Success" class is a must! Walk away and take control of how, why and more importantly realize again why communication is the root of all things."
 
~ Maria Daskalakis

Check out this article about my course featured in the Edson Anchor Newspaper:
Let's Talk About Dynamite Coaching 

    

Who do I work with?

I work with exceptional and brilliant people, like you, who at times might find you're having difficulty in achieving your desired goals either in your professional or personal life, or both. Coaching is not about focusing on the problem or what's broken; Instead it's about focusing on creating the solutions and actionable steps that get you more of what you want. 

Together, we explore and develop elegant pathways that lead to choice and change helping you review aims, set directions, and clarify next steps toward your ultimate direction of excellence. The power is within you.

 

ICF