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I have an acquaintance. I wouldn't call him a friend really. Don't know him that well. His name is Sean, he's maybe sixty years old and he runs a small "been around here forever" restaurant I drop in on from time to time.
I've known Sean has had cancer for about a year.
I've also understood that he has been undergoing chemo treatments from the beginning. That he is still undergoing them now.
I have a limited knowledge of cancer and its remedies, but that seemed to me like an inordinate amount of time to be doing chemo.
I've never asked him about his cancer specifically, just questions generally about how he's doing. Talking about himself makes his insides screech. You know the type.
But I was curious.
When I was having dinner at his restaurant last week I asked him about the chemo. He was seated near me licking on some vanilla ice cream, one of the few things that feels good to his stomach these days. I told him if it was none of my business I'd understand.
He surprised me by answering me quite readily. Maybe when one faces what he's facing honesty is kind of like why not.
He told me that his cancer had already gone from his bladder to his stomach lining when it was first discovered last year. Once there, he said, remission is impossible. Chemo can keep it at bay, but it can never get rid of it.
His doctors say that if he comes off of chemo he'll be dead in six months.
"I'm the only person that I've ever seen who can choose when he dies," he said with a sad chuckle.
It's true. He's got his hand on the crimp in the hose. He can choose to let go whenever he wants.
Sean will have to decide the tipping point. How long does he suffer through debilitating treatments? When does his quality of life dip below his desire to tolerate it?
Most of us don't have that decision facing us. Most of us are in a much better place. Most of us have better, simpler choices to make.
It leads me to ask you just one question, reader. May I?
Can I be so bold?
Forget cancer for a minute.
Have you been outside since the winter broke? No, really, have you?
It's that place just outside your windows, a step outside your door.
After all, if you don't spend time outside when the spring breaks, there is no sympathy for you when the snow flies.
Certainly not from Sean.
Have an enjoyable Memorial Day weekend, everyone. I'll see you in two weeks.
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