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We don't know all the facts about the Richie Incognito/Jonathan Martin/Miami Dolphins saga that has been playing out the last couple of weeks.
To sum...Martin and Incognito played football for the Dolphins. Martin felt physically threatened, intimidated and bullied by Incognito to the point that he left the team. Incognito has been suspended indefinitely by the Dolphins.
Some have blamed Incognito for being a bully. Some have blamed Martin for not being a man and standing up for himself. Others have blamed the Dolphins and the general NFL culture because it doesn't do enough to curb this type of behavior.
I'm not about to write a definitive article on this particular case because, as I said, all the facts aren't in.
But I will say this...
When people are bullied, threatened or otherwise harassed in the workplace, they have four choices.
- Go to the leadership of the organization and communicate their fears and concerns.
- Take matters into their own hands.
- Suck it up and do nothing.
- Leave the organization.
Those are all they really have. Let's muse on these...
Option 4 is inherently unfair. For bullies to have the power to drive anyone from the workplace is simply wrong. The only people that should have any say in one's continued employment at any particular job is the boss and the employee him or herself.
Number 3 is also unfair and incredibly unhealthy. Individuals forced to live with the brutal and miserable stress of threats, humiliation and harassment from fellow employees are at risk for physical and emotional health problems that go far beyond any beating an abuser can dish out. Not to mention, too, they are far less productive.
Number 2 is just foolish. Violence against violence is not an answer. Threat versus threat isn't either. I don't mean to overstate this, but it's that exact attitude-taking matters into their own hands- that lived in the heads of the Columbine killers.
Option 1 is all you have left. For every employee, there must be a port in the storm. There must be the safe place.
First, it's the duty of all leaders to create and maintain a safe environment in which their employees can work without fear. And second, if that tranquility is upset, leaders must provide an open door to the employee.
If you haven't created a culture, leader, where people feel they can come to you, then their blood is, in part, on your hands.
There can be no blaming the victim. A victim is a victim is a victim. Victims aren't perfect, but they are victims nonetheless.
Making them feel weak for looking to leadership for help, support and protection masks where true weakness lies.
True weakness lies in the heart of the bully.
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