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I was listening to comedian D. L. Hughley interviewed on the radio last week...in case you don't know, D.L. Hughley is a black man.
He told the story of being a young family man in 1980s Los Angeles, where racial tension ran hard between certain white police officers and African Americans.
He was out driving one afternoon with his young son, when he was stopped by a white cop. The officer asked him to get out of his car-him and his son-and he complied. The officer then told him to sit on the curb while he searched his car.
Hughley explained that the purpose for having a black man sit on the curb is to humiliate him...it happened a lot and everyone knew what it meant.
He refused.
The officer repeated the order. Hughley refused again.
According to Hughley, the officer threatened him physically saying he would beat him if he didn't. Hughley's response was this:
"Then my son will see that I sat on the curb because you made me. But he will not see me sit on the curb by choice."
His son would get a lesson...a lesson in self-respect. The officer let it go and allowed Hughley and his son to stand to the side.
I have spoken to many employees and managers over the years who feel mistreated by their boss.
I encourage honesty in the workplace. I encourage the need to speak the truth as they see it to the powers that be. As a matter of fact, that's the only way one can hold a boss accountable. You can't fire your boss. You can't discipline him or her. But you can be honest with them.
Therein lies one major problem:
Your boss holds your paycheck. He or she has your future employment in his or her hand. That's power...and leverage. And it works against you.
My advice to be honest with a superior always comes with a caveat: "Hey, this is easy for me to say from the outside looking in," I say. "You're the one who's going to have to carry this out. You're the one taking the risk. This is what I recommend because no change for you can happen unless you're willing to communicate honestly with this boss. But you have to decide whether or not it's worth the risk."
And all of that is true.
But then another question comes to the fore. At what point does self-respect kick in?
How long do we let a boss treat us poorly? At what point to do we say, "Enough is enough?"
I certainly want to feed my children, but there is another consideration: What lesson do I want them to learn? Do I want them to learn that the one who holds my paycheck can mistreat me any time he or she wants? Or is there something more than a paycheck at stake?
I can't answer those questions, only you can.
They might be worth considering, though, the next time you find yourself sitting on a curb.
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