Recall in the last ABC, we talked about a series of books we would review over the next few months that, when taken together, would serve to define what we mean by character, character development, and social learning. We also discussed how gaps in our social learning -- in our character development -- are increasingly leading to difficulties in our social interactions at work and, perhaps more importantly, outside of work with our friends and family members, within our communities, and in our other social groups and relationships (rates of marriage, divorce, juvenile crime, depression, bullying, among others in addition to shortages in leaders). Last month, we explored the topic of social learning in general, and then took a look at feedback and receptivity to feedback as necessary ingredients in activating our Social Brains, promoting necessary social learning and character development. In this ABC, we will look at another component in our Social Brain's ability to assist us in getting along with others  - the management of conflict.

I would like to begin with an anecdote we often use at CIMBA in presenting ourselves to corporate clients. Despite frustration with the results they are experiencing from traditional technical-based training and development approaches to behavioral change, we find our biggest challenge is in making the important distinction between technical (course-based) and adaptive (coach-based) solutions understood. And particularly in making it understood when and in which circumstances to apply these very different solutions. The former works well in addressing performance issues, while the latter is far more effective in addressing issues of character -- effective critical thinking and social interactions. We often begin by first pointing to research on losing weight, something to which many of us can all too easily relate, particularly as we grow older.....