This month's topic, of course, following down the line of yama and niyama, is shaucha, cleanliness, orderliness, purity.
We pause here for late breaking news...... This just in...
As I was getting ready to finally hit send on this email, I was asked - in fear and frustration - a question about an up-coming payment due.
This is my job. This is my life.
I am sending you an email that is about our topic of the month, shaucha, and thinking about coming clean. I am still including what I originally wrote below, but am feeling strongly about "coming clean" with where I am today.
But let me back up just a moment. When I was with Ram Dass, we were talking about practice, and I shared with him a most profound experience that I had recently had, during a very dark time, in chanting the Maha Mrytyunjaya mantra. The friend who was chanting with me, and who knew what a difficult time I had been having suggested I sing it louder and louder. Finally, as I went on chanting with tears rolling down my cheeks, she called out "Louder! Plead to God!" I had nothing to lose, so I did. When the experience was over, I had a deep sense of peace and contentment. I lied down on the floor, and rested peacefully for the first time in weeks.
When I was telling this to Ram Dass, I was saying how it was different for me, because I do very little "pleading" and especially to God. The whole idea of petitionary prayer seemed somehow like an immature way to interact with God, left over from my childhood. In fact, I realized that for me to "plead" for anything feels somehow manipulative, desperate, uncomfortable, and very, very exposed.
And yet, when I finally did, I felt a sense of relief. It was as if I just needed God to know how desperate I really was feeling, and in that knowing, I was uplifted. While I felt a sense of protection and relief, I didn't want the Universe, Mother Nature, God, or whatever the Divine is, to think that I didn't appreciate what was already happening. Just that in that moment, I needed more.
So here I am today. When I was asked about the payment, with the asker asking in a stressed and scared voice, in that moment, I felt completely overwhelmed. While I continued to type and let people know all of the wonderful things we do here at the center, I was simultaneously in that moment truly wondering why I was doing it. Was any of it worth it? Does this matter? Is this what the community wants? Does anybody really care?
Now I know they do. I know you do. And I know there are so many people who give so much to the center. But the clean truth is we need more. We are so strapped financially that we literally lose sleep over how or whether we can keep this thing going. We don't have the money to hire people to do all of our front desk work, or to write this newsletter, or to keep up with all of the little tasks that need to happen, and we can't do them all on our own. It is true, just today someone offered of her own accord to clean our windows. And I do see that, and it does matter. But it isn't enough. We need you, we need every single person who cares about this place and its mission to help in any way they can. So, with tears once again rolling down my face, I am here, pleading. Please, please help us. Please donate. Please buy raffle tickets, please show your support. Please volunteer around the center. Please let your voice be heard. Please be a part of what makes our mission happen. You are not only deeply appreciated, you are needed.
Please help us. The world needs us, and we won't ever turn anyone away for therapy or for outreach programs, or for class, or for community. The world needs us! If you have ever thought about doing more, or giving more to the center but weren't sure when or how, now is the time and the ways are innumerable. Just come forward. We want you!
And, yes, you can contribute to our end of year fundraising goal of $50,000 by clicking here. The answer to someone's prayers, just a click away.
.....and back to our regularly scheduled programming........
Putting the term shaucha or saucha into a google search yields a lot of interesting and nuanced results. I always enjoy reading through SwamiJ's insight, I find it thorough and helpful.
F0r me personally with regard to shaucha, right now I have been thinking about it in two specific ways.
The first is about general tidiness - for this I become aware of my environment; how its order affects me, and how my contribution to that environment decreases, sustains or increases its sense of order and ease.
As both a teacher and as a student, as an individual in the whole, I am aware of our shared space whether its my home or the center. I am conscious of the props, the area surrounding my mat, the altar - and I wish to contribute to its sense of intentionality and orderliness because it helps me to feel intentional and focused.
This month would be a great month to consider the value bringing of all the varied accoutrements into the studio. As a friendly and patient teacher, I am still aware of how many papers I have slipped on, water I have knocked over, dirty tissues I have stepped on, the one (and only one!) pair of glasses that I broke. It is a perfect time to consider how you are in any shared space and to ask yourself how you can greatly reduce your impact, as well as actively contributing to an overall sense of order and ease - the optimal environment for personal and collective transformation!
The second is about cleanliness and tidiness of the mind - and this too, in two ways. The first is simple (although not simple to practice) and this is dis-identification with the physical body.
My swami teacher always says that if we were just to drop our body consciousness we would already attain moksha. Wow, that something to grok on. When you read further about shaucha, you will certainly find that idea within the various interpretations and commentaries.
The second part is in thinking about when my mind is "tidy" or pure - we might even say less agitated - I offer and receive communications in a completely different way. I am able to speak clearly and lovingly, and I am able to hear communications, even ones where I am not happy about what is being said, in a way that is spacious and easeful.
Within the context of the center, I think of the simple example from both sides- A student asking the teacher or volunteer at the front desk to extend a pass, or something similar. If the student's mind is disturbed they might, for example, be demanding, aggressive or suspicious. However, at the same time, if the front desk person's mind is untidy, they might be impatient, defensive or unyielding. If both person's mind is undisturbed, the situation can be resolved with clarity and understanding. This energy multiplies and magnifies in both parties and spreads outward. The interaction, and the people having the interaction, are changed. It is these tiny steps that systematically recalibrate our collective consciousness.
Shaucha, then, becomes a practice, but also an agent of change. The tiny practice of washing your dish or folding your mat, relates to your bigger practice of clarity in thought, speech and action. This month, try practicing both sides and notice the change in your inner and outer environment.
With love and light,
we are all in this together,
molly
Interested in this discussion? Join us at our next Ram Dass satsang,
Sunday. Nov. 16, 7:30 - 9, for kirtan and satsang. RSVP.
Simple food to share always appreciated.
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