Once again my bleeding heart plant is blooming. When I was a little girl, the heart-shaped flowers of the bleeding heart fascinated me. And they still do.  On each arched stem hangs a string of perfectly formed, puffy, pink hearts with a translucent drop at the bottom. While some say the blossom resembles a heart with a drop of blood, to me it also looks like a heart with a tear.  Either way I think the flower symbolizes what we suffer during times of loss, a broken bleeding heart. 

Because I love this plant I put one in my garden after I was diagnosed with cancer. The first year it bloomed, I often sat on top of the brick wall next to it and wept.  "I want to feel light-hearted." I wrote in my journal.  "I want to have fun.  I want to go to the movies, do simple chores like the laundry and all the things my friends can do but I can't."  I was extremely fragile and weak.

But God used the bleeding heart during that time to help me express my pain.  He seemed to whisper, "I feel your broken heart.  Let me wipe your tears. Let me bring good out of this suffering." 

Years later, while gazing at the bleeding heart plant, I discovered something I had never noticed before.  Only on the fully formed, mature flowers are the hearts broken.  On the ones still developing, the heart is perfectly formed with only a droplet-like formation hanging from the bottom.  As the heart develops and grows, it opens and then breaks. 

This year as I treasure my bleeding heart, I find myself struggling as I grieve over my broken engagement. The pain of shattered dreams can be crippling.  But once again I am reminded by this plant how my growth and maturity seems to develop, through suffering and during times of brokenness.

Reflection for Gaining More: How has suffering shaped you? Do you simply go through trials and difficult times or do you allow God to comfort you, sustain you and grow you through it?