As we approach the end of January, how are you doing with the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year? Are you staying on track? If not, have you considered the ways you might be resisting the very change you want in your life?

Making a real change or changing our habits is far from easy. It is hard work. It takes discipline. Even when you want to change, you can unintentionally undermine your progress. If you are struggling to move forward, consider these four steps to minimize any resistance you might be creating.

1. Identify it

Pay attention to how you might be quietly undermining your progress. Let's say you want to lose weight and eat healthy, but every afternoon you get a snack attack. Out comes the chocolate you've hidden in your desk at work. Or at home you devour the whole bag of chips and then pig out on the ice cream in your freezer. If you are serious about losing weight, you will need to take some action to stop this cycle. Understand resistance needs to be addressed and dealt with.

2. Address it

When you ignore the ways you resist change along with the inner debate it brings, you only create more obstacles and problems for yourself. You doubt your ability to change or you allow discouragement to take over. Continuing our example above, you will need to address the problem by purging your house and your desk area of all junk food. Throw away your "emergency" stash of chocolate. Yes, it's painful, but it's also empowering.    

3. Normalize it

As a coach, I've come to realize with change, even a desired change, people can struggle and push back. This struggle is often a necessary part of the process of making modifications to our behaviors. Instead of wasting time beating yourself up or being disappointed with your efforts, recognize that important information you can be gleaned from your resistance. It's typical to resist change. 

4. Express it

Give a voice to your concerns, fears and the inner debate. Ask yourself:

• Is this change realistic? Maybe you impulsively decided to exercise six days a week. But now you realize that given your schedule and responsibilities it was an unrealistic goal. Maybe working out three times a week is much more doable and something you will commit to and stick with long term.

• Am I being forced out of my comfort zone? Perhaps you're motivated to make a change but it's hard to eat less when you enjoy eating so much. It's difficult to cut back on desserts when they give you such pleasure. Change is usually not comfortable. When you recognize that truth and adjust your expectations, you are more apt to endure the discomfort.

• Is this change costing me more than I thought? Maybe your New Year's resolution really was a bad idea. Or it might have been a good idea but it's not God's best for you. You recklessly moved forward with it, not allowing time to be still and pray about your choice. If a goal if threatening the things you value most, like relationships with your family and friends, maybe it's time to reevaluate and set new goals.  

When you find, like the Apostle Paul, that you continue to do what you don't want to do while failing to do what you do want to do (Romans 7:15), remember self-determination isn't always the answer. Pray for God's wisdom and strength, rely on him for any real transformation in your life.