Just like a pebble thrown into the water creates ripples, which gradually spread out affecting the water around it, our behaviors and reactions spread out influencing those around us.  Like it or not, our emotions are contagious. If everyone who crosses your path seems to be resentful, check yourself. You may be the one holding onto bitterness which is influencing those around you. Or if you feel like everyone is cranky and snappish, ask yourself if there is something eating away at you that you haven't realized. Your irritability can influence the mood of others.

The good news is, that you can also positively influence the mood of those around you. With friends at lunch one day, Caren sat back to listen and observe the other women. She realized their pleasant lunch had soured into a gripe session about their husbands. Since she had no interest in contributing to the complaints, she wanted to change the mood. She said, "You know one of the things I appreciate about my husband? . . . He's incredible in bed."

The women laughed.

"So what's your husband good at?" she asked.

One women said, "My husband is great with the kids."

 "My husband can fix anything," another said.

Within minutes Caren had positively changed the focus and mood of her lunch group. You can do the same--for good or for bad.

Ask yourself, "Am I inspiring good feelings? Or do I unintentionally tend to bring negative ones into the conversation?" While we all have bad or down days, we want to pay attention to our moods on a typical day and across the weeks. Denying or ignoring your negative feelings doesn't make them disappear; they only intensify.

The owner of an accounting firm, I'll call her Pat, was oblivious to the toxic impact her anger and frustrations had on her employees. While most of them tended to avoid her, along with her negativity and criticism, she perceived herself differently. "I'm simply a realist. I just tell people what they need to hear," she said. "I don't believe in sugar coating things just to make someone feel better." 

One morning, as Pat read her devotional, she felt God asking her, "How do others perceive you?"

Uncertain of the answer, later that day she quietly asked two employees what they thought. One of them avoided giving her a straight answer. The other one, a dependable employee, said, "I sometimes get down about the negative attitudes, and I'm hurt by what seems like extremely critical feedback."

A few weeks later, Pat created and circulated an anonymous survey, asking her employees about her emotions, words and behavior. God used those survey results to help her see how destructive her negative comments were. With the help of an executive coach, Pat learned to acknowledge her anger and understand how negatively it was influencing her staff. She developed better self-management skills and learned to control her feelings in a constructive and timely fashion.

Our emotions have a powerful influence on others, for good or for bad. Pay attention to your feelings. What is the ripple effect of your emotions?

The degree to which you are aware of and able to manage your emotions is the degree to which you will positively and powerfully make a difference in the lives of others. 

The Stress Cure - Praying Your way to Personal Peace

by Linda Evans Shepherd