Brain Programming
The words we use have a direct impact upon our lives. The subconscious part of our brain uses our words to create, reinforce, or break down beliefs. Therefore, we program ourselves and others with the words we use.
There are also phrases and words we use that help us avoid taking responsibility for being in control of our own lives. Sometimes we use words in a way intended not to offend someone that leaves our meaning unclear when honesty could serve both parties much better.
I must confess, Mary Jane and I are both guilty of using these words and phrases, so we are on a journey to remove them from our speech patterns. Here are our top choices for verbal eradication.
"Let me think about it." Many people use this phrase when we present them with one of the three products we share with people when they really mean "I'm not interested." We then call them back to see if they've made a decision, how much easier it would be for both of us if they simply said, "Thank you, however, I am not interested" or simply "No Thank you."
"But". Such a simple word with potential devastating impact. For instance, "I love you but you drive me crazy sometimes." When "but" is used in this way it tends to negate the first part of the sentence the "I love you" part. It would be better to say "I love you even though you drive me crazy sometimes." The message is clearer. The first and most important part of the sentence is perhaps even more powerful this way. So be careful where you place your buts. Listen to yourself when you use this word and ask, is this really conveying the message I want to send.
"Try" is word with little real meaning. When someone tells you they will try to do something doesn't that come across as not really committed to get it done? You can't really try to pick up a piece of paper, got ahead and "try" it. You either did or did not so Yoda, had it right "Do or do not. There is no try." Remove this word and determine how to best rephrase the response and "the force will be with you."
"I can't" is a confusing response. For instance, you ask someone out to dinner and they respond with "I can't." Do we know what is really going on? Does it mean, they don't want to or they have other commitments that are taking precedence. "I can't" would convey it is physically impossible to do it. It's just not clear.
I can't do this or that is also insidious and limiting. Many years ago I experienced basic training in the Army. What I learned was I really didn't know my limitations. I submit that none of us really knows our limitations because we have never been pushed that far. Be very careful how you program yourselves and those around you by using the word "can't".
"I don't have the time." In reality everyone has the same amount of time every day so you do have the time. It's not time's fault that something didn't get done. Take responsibility for your actions and simply say "I have more important things to take care of" or "I chose to use my time on different activities." Responding in this way acknowledges that you are in charge of how you spend your time.
The bottom line is words have meaning. By being indirect in what we mean we bring confusion into our lives and those around us. Be direct and live with clarity and power every day!
