I ran across a verse of scripture this morning that has always made me tremble, as a worship leader, and should cause all of us to stop and self-examine. Isaiah 29:13 reads, "These people come near to Me with their mouth and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. Their worship of Me is made up only of rules taught by men." This is not one of those passages I want to have matted and framed and hung on my office wall, because it's kind of a downer. And yet, how important it is that we worshipers keep these words before us: a sobering reminder to strive for a connection with God that is authentic, fresh, and invigorating.

I'm sure many of you, like me, have attended church all your life. I've never known any other way; my parents saw to that, and I'm forever grateful to them for it. But, as we've all surely learned by now, the grave danger of growing up in God's house is that we can settle in and get too comfy. We make ourselves welcome and assume the run of the place. We come very casually into His presence--I'm not talking about clothing here--and like a hungry youngster home from school, plop down and demand a snack, some entertainment, and maybe even a little nap. We go through the motions that have, over the years, become as natural as breathing. We know the routine so well that we can "do church" without ever engaging our hearts.

Now, lest you think I'm becoming too preachy, here's the good news. God remembers that we are merely flesh (Psalm 78:39), and flesh is notoriously weak when the spirit is willing and even earnest. God knows this. He understands us and is infinitely patient with us.

I don't remember where I read this brutally honest quote--and my Google search proved unfruitful--but someone once said, "I don't love God. I don't even want to love God. But I want to want to love God." I understand that sentiment better than I care to admit, and I've often experienced that feeling of helpless inability to love Him genuinely, to worship Him purely. Sometimes just "wanting to want to love Him" is as close as I can get. What consolation to know that He understands and never hesitates to meet me right where I am.

It is important that we mortals acknowledge this weakness in ourselves. We must confess, to quote a favorite hymn, "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it..." Do you feel it? I do. Do we "do church" right all the time? No, not even most of the time, in our failed attempts to move from self-centeredness to God-centeredness. But He doesn't give up on us as we are floundering, trying to become better worshipers. His love endures. He simply continues to put that invitation out there: "Come. Seek me." So we don't give up. We keep entering in, with all our imperfection, because the One who has called us is deserving.

The next line in the hymn is, "Here's my heart..." That should be our prayer again and again in worship. Here's my heart, Lord...

Yes, our minds will still wander during sermons. Yes, we will continue absentmindedly to sing devoid of thought or passion. But as we persist in coming before Him, stretching toward authenticity, doing the things we know bring Him honor, every now and then we glimpse His glory in a fresh way. As William Cowper penned in another great hymn: "Sometimes a light surprises the Christian while he sings; It is the Lord who rises with healing in His wings."

Let us enter humbly because we are unworthy, approach boldly because He is worthy, and press on in the imperfect worship of our perfect God. The surprises along the way are worth it.
 

Kevin