Even in the age of the internet inviting is still one of the most potent approaches to attract people to your Orthodox church. It is estimated that 5-7 million unchurched are looking to find a new church this Sunday. Inviting is one of the best, most active and personal ways to lead them to your parish. Session 2 delivery was shared by Father Ivanoff and Joseph Kormos.
Why Invite? Right and Wrong Motivation
Before diving in to specific suggestions for who, how, and when to invite persons to your Orthodox parish, session 2 content focused on the why --and the "why not".
Too often parish evangelization efforts get started with improper motivation. Among these reasons are:
- Saving our parish
- Increasing attendance
- Paying the bills
- Justifying "my choice"
- Thrill of conquest
- A chance to show off my knowledge of ____ .
- Finding a ride to church
Some of these motives aren't entirely wrong. Declining parishes need active, outward efforts. If we make a personal choice to embrace the Orthodox faith we want people to endorse that choice and what better way than to convince others to follow. Often however our motivations miss the mark in large part because they focus on us and our needs.
Right Thinking: Gratitude, Responsibility and Concern
In his book "Evangelization in the Early Church" author Michael Green offers the following motivations for the evangelization efforts of the early church:
- "Gratitude for the overwhelming experience of the love of God the apostles had experienced through Jesus Christ.
- "A sense of responsibility to share the message of God's love and...
- Genuine concern for the well being of the unevangelized - a lively awareness of the peril of those without Christ."
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Sandwich boards are so "yesterday"! Random invitations rarely work. Focus on those who trust you: friends, relatives, neighbors.
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As Green says: "The apostles really believed that men without Christ might suffer eternal and irreparable loss. This thought drove them to unremitting labors to reach them with the Gospel." Evangelization when done properly strengthens the Church and produces growth -- new Christians -- but it is NOT at its core a growth program.
NOT "Door Knocking" -- Invite "FRAN"
After a Saturday workshop conducted in the OCA's Diocese of the South a group of us went to dinner. One zealous person at our table - motivated no doubt by gratitude, responsibility and concern - struck up a conversation with the waiter. In a flash the waiter had been invited to church the next morning. He politely accepted - but did not show.
While some people are willing and able to invite anyone, anytime, anywhere most experts point out that random invitations are usually ineffective. Instead they suggest we concentrate on FRAN -- friends, relatives, associates and neighbors. People with whom we have established a relationship. We also emphasized that door knocking is not an effective or recommended approach to inviting. Evangelization is not door knocking.
Who Not to Invite?
While perhaps obvious, we recommended to attendees they not invite people who are satisfied/comfortable with their life in another Christian faith tradition. (Proselytism is NOT evangelism.) And certainly not those from another Orthodox parish. (Encouraging parish switching is definitely not evangelism.)
How -- An Inviting Toolbox
Much of session 2 was dedicated to offering possible tools to be used when inviting people to church. A few of them are:
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Use good questions to expand a trusting relationship to curiosity, then openness and interest in the Gospel.
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Getting to "Interest"
Discussing a potentially uncomfortable topic like "church" with another person --even a friend --usually requires taking it slowly. Having a basic approach can help. One model used with some success is: "Develop Trust>> Curiosity >> Openness >> Interest >> then Invite".
Moving too quickly through any step creates defense mechanisms. As stated in materials from the Catherine of Sienna Institute: "In developing trust a barrier occurs when a person feels you are operating on them with an objective of taking them from where they are to somewhere they don't want to go."
Listen
In using this model the most basic skill is in many ways the simplest -- and yet the hardest! Too often we see an evangelistic conversation as a conquest --that requires creative arguments. Too often we forget that the focus is not making us feel good or right but in helping the other person. Central to that focus is listening. A few good "evangelistic listening" practices are:
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Yes, you actually need to listen to the other person. its a dialogue not a monologue.
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- You need to actually DO IT. (Who knew?)
- Too often we think we're listening when we're actually just planning our next question, statement or response.
- One technique that helps -is to silently repeat back what was just said. Let it sink in.
- Listening goes beyond our ears. Watching body language -- your friend's and your own -- is critical.
Ask Good Questions
In order to listen well it helps to get the other person talking. And that requires good questions. The webinar offered a few example questions. For now we'll simply summarize some guidelines for "evangelistic questioning":
- Questions need to be honest -- not manipulative or rhetorical.
- They should always demonstrate a concern for the other --adapted to their "state" and situation.
- Sometimes even a good honest question can seem intrusive. Ask permission.
- Remember that while you are asking questions --it's NOT an interview or interrogation.
Use Words that Resonate
Eventually your friend may become interested. She'll have questions of her own. Her questions will of course vary with her background --but eventually she may become curious about the fundamentals of the Gospel and perhaps the Orthodox faith.
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Use words that people can understand and that others have found express the essence of Orthodoxy.
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Chances are, however, she will not become interested by many of the words we Orthodox too often use to introduce our faith -- jurisdiction, schism, patriarchate, filioque and even "three bar cross" or "onion dome". (You may, of course, always introduce the concept of pirogies - even baklava. This is understandable and perfectly acceptable!) It is likely better to use words that have actually resonated with people who are on a faith journey to Orthodoxy. Words that have spoken to others and may connect with your friend. Some are:
- Continuity
- Apostolic
- Authentic
- Resurrectional
- Beauty
See additional potent words in the box nearby.
Be Prepared with a Personal Narrative
Finally the most important questions your friend may have are probably aimed directly at you. She'll want to know about your faith. The most powerful evangelical tool you have is authentic faith and the ability to convey that your faith is for real --through "life and lip". Sometimes words are necessary. Some of the questions you need to be prepared to answer --to share the hope that is in you -- are:
- What does God mean to me?
- Why do I have faith? Why do I believe?
- Why am I an Orthodox Christian?
- Why do I attend _____ parish?
Session 2 Materials
Session 3 -- Preparing Your Parish for Welcoming the Unchurched
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The 1970 book Evangelism in the Early Church by Michael Green provided a reference framework for the webinar series.
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Spreading the Gospel is both a personal and corporate effort. In Session 3 Joseph Kormos focused on the corporate side -- creating a parish with the motivation, atmosphere, identity and impetus to make inviting and sharing easier and more effective.
Is Our Parish Ready For This?
People who seriously inquire into a parish are looking to see if
the community provides something of value both to them and to the world. In short they are looking to find in that parish something that "outshines the best that unbelief can muster".
Can your parish make a difference in their lives? Or are you merely a group of "respectable people bent on self preservation?" If guests find no Good News, evangelistic effort is likely to bear little fruit. In that case it is better to focus parish energy in other areas.
On the other hand we also reminded attendees that
every parish has its warts -- and waiting for the parish to be(come) perfect may be equally foolish. Have a realistic conversation among your parish before starting --and ask: "Are we ready for this?" If yes,
get going.
Plan of Attack
We
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The Lessons of Geese.
Can Orthodox parishes learn from geese?
Geese seem to have a plan. They fly in formation and rotate leaders to conserve energy. Honking encourages the flock. |
suggested the need for a basic parish plan or structure --an approach -even an evangelistic strategy. We provided some encouragement by citing a few evangelistic "strategy" examples from the early church as reported by author Michael Green:
- As the apostles went forth to spread the Gospel, they made explicit choices to focus on cities that were important centers of administration,Greek civilization and commerce. In contemporary terms they focused on "railway stations not prisons".
- Likewise Paul often explicitly preached to influential people - ones who could be valuable if converted. And others (Justin, Clement, Origen,Tertullian) then followed this approach.
In Green's opinion these are clear examples that the early church did not simply consider evangelism a random act but rather considered its "tactics" and in some ways followed an evangelistic strategy or "plan of attack". Would it not be appropriate for Orthodox in America -and Orthodox parishes - to have a plan of attack? We examined aspects of what topics and actions might be included in a parish evangelization plan of action.
Evangelism Education
Classes (face to face and/or online) for parishioners would be a good start. Topics include: The What, Why and How of Proper Evangelism; Tools & Skills; FAQ about your Orthodox Faith; and background on what various categories of unchurched persons will be searching for and what hurdles and obstacles they will face. (Again the webinar materials may provide a good foundation.)
Connecting with the Neighborhood/Community
Parish action begins by examining parish identity. Often the parish needs to learn to live that identity by expanding local charitable endeavors, hosting insularity breaking events (topical lectures of broad interest for example) and establishing special outreach venues such as coffee houses and bookstores.
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Attractive architectural signs are expensive --and worth it.
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Welcoming Facilities
Your parish conveys a sense of hospitality and welcome by the way your church looks to others. Not every church is an architectural masterpiece but the basics are available to all. Handicapped accessibility and parking. Grounds maintained with a sense of pride and care-- grass mowed, hedges trimmed, flower beds weeded, stairs swept, cracks repaired. Well lit exterior and interior. Strategically located, well lit, architectural quality signs with necessary information... and much more.
Communicating Your Parish
Studies show that 80% of people decide to try out a church by looking at websites. That stat may be even higher for Orthodox parishes. Orthodoxy's depth of doctrine, visual beauty, and small, relatively unknown status are qualities that fit the strengths of the web. (The web makes small things seem big!) So repeat after us... "good parish websites are critical tools of Orthodox parishes". (Again. Louder, please.)
We've covered the website topic often in this space in the past so we'll only emphasize the basics:
- Your parish's communicated identity is made up of:
- what you say about yourself;
- what you do daily
- what people experience of you and
- what others say about you (word of mouth).
Consider how your website can contribute to each dimension of your parish identity.
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Consider the needs of inquirers when designing site content. Don't just talk to your current parishioners.
- Inquirers will likely return to your website a number of times. Layer information so they can dig deeper -- don't overwhelm the first visit. Use words they understand.
- Use (many) photos.. of people... doing things... that are related to worship, loving community, helping others -- not about food and selling things.
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Attack the many stereotypes that plague the conventional perception of Orthodoxy in America.
Other important communication efforts include Facebook, blogs and press releases.
Session 3 Materials
Session 4 --Parish Hospitality
Creating Positive First Time Experiences for Inquirers
Having explored the qualities of the unchurched; set out to invite those with whom we have a relationship; prepared the parish grounds and facilities; broken our insularity with the neighborhood, defined our parish identity and communicated it well -- the next step is to prepare to welcome guests and inquirers warmly. That was our mission in session 4.Thinking Like a Visitor
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What would it be like to visit a Buddhist temple? Your parish guests may be similarly disoriented.
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To welcome effectively it helps to be able to understand what it would be like to experience your parish for the first time. Large percentages of Americans have no religious experience and most have never been to an Orthodox Church. Helping people to know what to expect is critical.
Desired and Actual Experiences
We suggested to attendees that they think about the following questions as they consider how to provide hospitality to guests:
- What are the desired experiences of a first time guest/inquirer? On Sunday, Saturday vespers or other events? (Map it out!)
- How does that compare with what actually happens?
- What might they encounter that they will find odd, unusual or off putting?
- How can we explain or prepare them for these experiences --without apologizing for what we do and who we are?
- Is every unusual experience in our parish truly Orthodox? If yes explain it. Or, is it a nostalgic remnant or a recreation of an imagined old world Orthodoxy? In that case --is it necessary?
Mystery Worshipers
Since most parish leaders are well removed from their first parish visit and most guests may not offer candid honest feedback sometimes it can be helpful to recruit an outside perspective. Parish Pulse readers have heard before about Mystery Worshipers --persons who visit churches and report unabashedly on their experiences. (Read more
here about what Mystery Worshipers found at Orthodox churches.)
Rather than waiting for a random visit though, we suggested that serious parishes desiring to understand the guests' experience --before, during and after -- may want to recruit a friend --or even pay someone for their feedback. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Do not neglect to show hospitality, for by that means some have entertained angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13:1-2)
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Equipping an Effective Greeters Ministry
Greeters are the first line of hospitality for a parish. And most Orthodox parishes we've visited recently use greeters. All to often however the greeting effort is ineffective and even uncomfortable. A few of the tips we offered for improving the greeter ministry were:
- Seriously select greeters -- Not everyone is gifted for this -- and everyone who wants to do it shouldn't. You cannot train sincerity and "genuineness".
- Remind them to... smile... make eye contact... offer a bulletin... arrive on time (that means early)... dress appropriately... look over the bulletin to know what special events & services are taking place... capture info for follow up (if natural) and expect the unexpected. (What happens if a guest arrives with a therapeutic dog?)
Greeter Support Needs
Of course an effective greeting effort requires support tools. Some suggestions:
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| Provide greeters with appropriate printed literature about your parish and the Orthodox faith. |
- Parish welcome packet or brochure
- Orthodox literature
- A parish "business card" with the priest's and greeter's name/phone numbers.
- Guest book/guest card
- Plans for spills and other accidents
- Emergency numbers
- Handicapped/ elderly assistance
Hospitality During Liturgy
Warm behavior during the liturgy may be more important than an entry greeting. Encourage parishioners to smile and make eye contact. Remind them to give help with service books and move over -- no pew blocking.
Post Liturgy
Likewise offering a greeting after the conclusion of the service with a personal invitation to meet others for fellowship is probably most important. This post greeting can almost never happen by the offical "greeters" and it is a critical responsibility of everybody!
Insensitive Behaviors
Of course we all know that bringing people into contact with the parish-at-large may, in some cases include a few challenging or peculiar behaviors and personalities. The first thing to remember is that as Orthodox we don't have a corner on the market for insensitive behaviors. Churches, from all denominations have their share of quirky customs and unusual congregants. We do however have a few unique challenges --if only because we are working to overcome unfortunate stereotypes and reputations.
We offered attendees our take on dealing with a few of these behaviors. Can you improve these responses?
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Insensitive Behavior
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Unfortunate Implication
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A better approach...?
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"Are you Antigreessian?" (insert favorite ethnic group)
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This place is closed to you.
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"We're a multi-ethnic parish"
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"You're in MY seat!"
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We have rules here & we don't share them!
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There is no better approach; don't say this
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"Why are you here?"
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"You don't look 'right'"; "We've actually never had a visitor."
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"Did you find us through our website?"
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"I don't know, ask Father" (in response to any serious question)
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"We're not serious about our faith... we're just here for the coffee"
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"That's a very good question. We teach...(or) My understanding is..."
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"Would you like to buy..."
Fund raising appeals
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" we expect others to pay for our church budget" or "Things are desperate here."
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There is no better approach; don't say this
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"Our people"
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"... are not YOU"
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"You'd love it here, it's easy to get to know everyone!"
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Correcting ... "don't do that"
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"We're very narrow here."
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There is no better approach; don't do this
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Introducing guests/ask to raise hands
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"We're a well oiled recruiting machine"
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"We'd like to extend a warm welcome to all our guests today"
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Orthodox arrogance
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"I'm Orthodox and you're wrong"
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There is no better approach; don't say this
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Ethnic food emphasis
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"We'll keep reminding you that you're -well - different"
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"Please try some of this, it's my grandmother's recipe"
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Glaring at children
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"Its only the beginning ... wait 'til you really get to know us!"
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There is no better approach; don't do this
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Guest Feedback
According to noted evangelism expert George Barna, first time guests at churches report the following likes and dislikes:
Likes
- Being treated no differently during the service
- Greeted individually after the service by people
- Information about parish readily available
- Received thank you note from priest/greeter that week
- Coffee Hour!
Dislikes
- Priest/layman visiting their home the next week
- Being asked to wear a name tag at the service
- Asked to I.D. themselves, as a guest/visitor, during service
- Small gift brought to home as a thank-you for visiting
Session 4 Webinar Materials
