Do you get excited about the New Year coming in? A clean slate. A fresh start. A time to tackle those resolutions and goals. Fun, isn't it?

Well, sort of. When we are focused on the excitement of the future, one thing we might forget about is.... letting go. We must let go of the old to make way for the new. However, doing that is usually more difficult than we want it to be or think it should be. This can be a major obstacle to reaching our goals.

As much as we might want something new, wanting doesn't get us there. New job, new relationship, weight loss/exercise regime for leaner meaner body, stop smoking, more money in the bank, more confidence, a stronger spiritual connection, writing a book or creating some other work of art - whatever it is, it will require letting something go.

The toughest part of change is internal. That's why it is called an "inside job." To lose weight, we must give up old habits, our identity of being overweight, and the attachment to certain comfort foods. To write a book, we must let go of the fear of failure, of exposure, of looking foolish. To get a new job or new relationship, we must let go of the mindsets that keep us stuck. These things are easier said than done!

Whether the change is self-sought or brought on by external circumstances, there is a natural, innate, internal resistance that occurs as the first part of the process. It is almost as if the old knows we are about to leave it behind, so it locks us into a virtual "straight jacket" and we have to fight our way out. This is a period of testing to determine how serious we are about the change we are about to make, and to see if we are ready -- strong enough to hold the new steadily in place.

During this probationary period, we can feel restlessness, hostility, frustration, irritation, anxiety. Even if the change is good! Think about trying to change a habit, like losing weight. The unhealthy foods you need to give up will call your name, over and over again. The healthy foods that you should eat will not seem as appealing. There will be an experience of resistance - trying to avoid the old, but not wanting to comply with the new. Thus: restlessness, frustration, irritation, etc. This is a natural part of the strengthening process. That tension can propel you forward, if used appropriately. It can also be the thing that stops you, if you succumb to it.

Another part of the process is marked by emptiness. The old is on its way out, but the new isn't in yet. Sometimes we feel empty, lost, lonely, sad, or it will seem as if something is missing. We are grieving whatever it is we have let go, even if it was unpleasant or had unpleasant side effects.

Of course, this applies to any change in life - becoming a new parent, getting married or divorced, getting a promotion, moving to a new city, changing a habit, recovering from addiction. You name it; in order to move on to something new, we have to let go of the old.

We must be able to live through uncomfortable feelings whenever change happens. Too often, people don't have the strength and/or courage to face them, so they quit, give up, or sabotage their success. However, if you know those things are coming, that they are a natural part of the process, and that they are there to strengthen you so that you can have what it is you set out to achieve (and more!), then you can prepare to meet them and allow them to work their magic in your life.

Ultimately, this is a battle between your soul and your personality. The soul wants growth, the personality wants comfort. Which will you choose?