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This collection from Dan Mitchell on the west coast who asks, "what if we looked to the greats for insults, minus the 4-letter words?" Freely offered for your next board of directors' meeting:
"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. -Clarence Darrow
"He had delusions of adequacy." -Walter Kerr
A Member of Parliament to Benjamin Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or, of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time in reading it." -Moses Hadas
"I feel so miserable without you: it's almost like having you here." -Steven Bishop
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend if you have one." (George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill). "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one." (Churchill's riposte).
"I just learned of his illness...let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin Cobb
"He has no enemies, but is intently disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -Forest Tucker
"Why do you just sit there looking like an envelope without an address?" -Twain
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder
"She is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -Paul Keating
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening...unfortunately this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx
Take that!
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