I just sent my I-Message. The "other" is looking a little defensive. Where are we in the Behavior Window? This question often comes up during Leader Effectiveness Training workshops. Did I just give my problem to the other? Or, is there a new problem?

Let's use an example to clarify. I have a work colleague whom I trust and respect, Sylvia. She is a great co-worker, smart, hard-working, cooperative, helpful. All that stuff you hope for in a team member. Lately, however, she has been driving me crazy. I will send her an e-mail with three questions.