• You've been working hard to understand and apply many concepts, principles and skills.

• There are learning stages each of us goes through when we are learning something new.

• This model can help you understand why learning can be a slow and frequently uncomfortable process.

These are the four basic stages that participants find themselves in during (and after) the workshop:

Stage 1-Unconsciously Unskilled. Initially, we are at a stage of unconscious incompetence: that is, inept and unaware of it.

Example: "I've never played golf before but it sounds like fun. I think I'll borrow a set of clubs and go out to the driving range tomorrow."

Salespeople often interact with their customers and others unconscious of the fact that there are specific communication skills available to them. Salespeople may be unknowingly using communication patterns with their customers that are disrupting their relationships.

Stage 2-Consciously Unskilled. We start to learn at the level of conscious incompetence when sudden awareness of how poorly we do something shows how much needs to be learned.

Example: "What a fiasco. I'll be happy with 100 on the front nine. How in the world does Tiger Woods do it?"
Salespeople become aware of positive and negative ways of communicating. They become conscious of the negative effects of Roadblocks and the positive possibilities of Active Listening and I-Messages. However, at this stage they are not yet utilizing these skills.

Stage 3-Consciously Skilled. With experimentation, discovery and practice, we become consciously competent. We know how to do it right, but need to think and work hard to keep it going well.

Example: "The lessons from the pro are helping and I'm starting to make some headway. But so many things to remember-head, feet, hands, wrists, hips..."

The salesperson very consciously uses the workshop skills. Considerable conscious effort is made to avoid Roadblocks, to determine Problem Ownership, to Active Listen and to send I-Messages instead of You Messages. Sometimes s/he even feels a little phony-the use of skills seems a little gimmicky. Other people, too, may perceive the salesperson as consciously utilizing some new kind of communication technique.

Stage 4-Unconsciously Skilled. Eventually, we arrive at some unconscious competence. It becomes easier, even natural.

Example: "It all fit together today. Broke 90 and had fun. Didn't have to concentrate hard at all!"
Envision this process of learning as climbing up the rungs of a competency ladder.

The salesperson persists in using the skills and becomes comfortable with them. Now Active Listening, congruent I-Messages, Method III and using the Six Steps of the Buying Process seem natural. Customers and other people respond favorably. They feel heard, understood, appreciated. The salesperson finds that the skills are used in all areas of life, they are integrated into all his or her interactions and become the natural way of being with others.

The salesperson also finds that, as is true with any other skill training, this is an on-going process which hopefully never ends.
Research shows that it requires between 1500-5000 repetitions of a skill to become unconsciously skilled. We expect that in such things as learning a language or sport or common day to day skills, but often react to early failures in using Synergistic Selling skills with comments like: "It doesn't work!" "I just can't learn to do that." or "It isn't natural!"

Be patient, practice and keep your focus on your goals and purpose for learning and using the skills. More and more research also supports the power of visualization for improving skills. Seeing and hearing yourself successfully apply the skills in your mind registers in your subconscious as actual hands-on experience.