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Raise your hand if this sounds familiar to you:

"So what I hear you saying is....."

Okay, you can put your hands down now.

Most of you will recognize this as a way of beginning your own Active Listening to someone who, in your Behavior Window, is "in" the top part of the window-yes? Okay, good so far. :)

And while this can be helpful to those who are new to Active Listening (it's also a good way to buy yourself some time before you give your Active Listening a shot), it can be, well.....okay, I will just say it...annoying! What do I mean by that? If you use this opener or lead-in a lot, your Active Listening might start to sound robotic or formulaic to the other person. Now I don't mean to rain on your parade if this is helpful to you and/or you're just starting out and now I am telling you to skip this opener. I just want to caution you...