How big is your God?...by Sandy McMath

Providence--the foreseeing care and guidance of God. Though the world claims coincidence, God is the master of the universe. He works in ways we don't always understand, drawing us to Himself to accomplish His aim for our lives. Oh, no! His providence is quite intentional.

We don't always get the "Yes" we pray for. I've learned more about God and walked closer with Him in the valleys of my life. I wouldn't trade such times with Him for anything. And when He answers, the lesson I learn is usually more important than the answer to my prayer.

In 1996 I learned I had a rare, incurable disease. The symptoms were treatable but would last many years. So I began the long, difficult treatments and each day looked to God for strength and comfort.

Sleep, sadly, was not part of the plan. Often I lay awake talking with God about my sons, bargaining for more time. My youngest was only 10 and if I could just live 6 more years, they all could make it. So I pleaded--day after day, week after week, month after month--but no answer came.

One night God spoke to my heart. Ask Me to heal you. My eyes shot open. "What? I only need a few years, Lord. Please!" I was terrified. God's words put it all on the line--all I'd believed, known, and trusted about Him! Rather than ask for healing, I prayed for time to raise my boys.

I knew that God is big, powerful, and loving. He could heal me but doesn't always answer as we want. Hadn't I already learned this? Some friends had lost children; others, their own battles with disease. This was about His plan, His timing, and I was afraid.

If healing was not His plan for me, would it shake my faith at the root? How could I face death without my faith in God? Surely it was better not to ask than risk losing my faith for the rest of my journey. It was safer simply to continue in "Thy will be done."

But God never left me. As I read the Word, prayed, and sought comfort, He whispered, Ask Me to heal you, and led me to special verses--Deuteronomy 8:2-3; 1 Corinthians 1:3-5,9-10; James 5:15a. Then late one night after years of treatment, through tears of surrender, I asked God to heal me.

With faith the size of a mustard seed, I yielded to His Holy Spirit. Not deserving, not worthy, I stepped off the edge in faith and fell into the arms of God. And He showed up BIG! That night God told me in my spirit that He had healed me.

Weeks later my doctor was astounded. The disease had vanished. Tests were normal.

Recalling that night, I realize the lesson wasn't about God healing a broken body for me, but me surrendering a stubborn will to Him. It was about living in His care and guidance, trusting in His providence, and realizing He is a very big God.

How about you? Do you want to see God's providence in your life? Find comfort in His Word? Hear His gentle whispers? Then know the blessing of living in complete surrender to His Will.