Milton lost his vision in later life, and in the invocation to his great poem he notes that while he can no longer see the light of the external world, he asks God to cultivate within him a kind of inner vision that will bring knowledge of things "invisible to mortal sight":

 

Bion referred to the inverse of reason as a beam of light, referring instead to a 'beam of darkness,' that by excluding the light of ordinary conscious awareness, would allow us to perceive new objects by their own very faint illumination. One can imagine that this capacity for intuition may be developed and cultivated under certain conditions, and it is fair enough to wonder what these conditions might be. One of these must be a kind of sustained and open attention to whatever might present itself to us, in an attitude of receptiveness; it must be a function of time and also, of a kind of psychic space that is not yet filled with certainty, aims, goals, and purposes. Bion is suggesting that some knowledge (a kind very important to psychoanalysts) comes not by the accumulation of new "objective" facts subjected to the light of reason, but rather by the subtraction of our ordinary preconceptions, even theories, allowing something new to emerge in the space that is created.

 

It seems to me that process of "turning down the light" relates to our own attachment to the external world, a world of "shiny objects" that distracts, stimulates, intoxicates, or otherwise bring us out of ourselves. Our relentless digital world appears to be cultivating a kind of distracted and superficial relatedness, making real thought, conversation, attention, and awareness more and more scarce. It may be the case that we psychoanalysts are among those who serve as guardians of an inner world of depth, substance and being, a world that is increasingly inaccessible to minds attuned to the rapid and endless flow of images and superficial links and associations of the internet and the world wide web.

 

One way I find I can "subtract" the excessive presence of our intrusive external world is to retreat into nature. Earlier this month I spent a week in the western Adirondacks, mostly without any cell service, and because I spent much of the time paddling from one body of water to another, I was forced to keep my phone safely away where it could not get wet. For most of the week my companion and I saw no one else. We were surrounded by relative wilderness the entire time, mostly just water, sky, mountains, and trees that were beginning to change to their autumn colors.

 

We camped on islands in a series of lakes, no person anywhere around us, no man-made sound or light or structure. One night I was awakened by the plaintive and haunting wail of a pair of loons calling to each other across the water. I stayed up for a while to listen to them. Loons seem to often live in pairs, in this case just the one pair on a decent-sized lake; usually at dusk as the light is just fading you hear first the one calling, as if to say, "here I am, where are you?" and then the distant reply of their mate answering, "here, here I am." It is a primal and deeply touching sound, the connection between the two birds, their unfailing responsiveness to each other, and the mournfulness of their calls across the darkness of the lake. This pair was up well after midnight, but after a while they quieted down and the silence returned and I got up to look at the perfect darkness of a cloudless and moonless night sky. It was packed with stars, beyond belief, every square inch of the sky filled with points of light and the Milky Way like a glowing reticulated cloud as bright as I have ever seen it. I have seen such skies many times before and yet found myself surprised once again, even stunned a little, that there really were that many stars, and that they are there all the time, every night, even during the day, but are simply overwhelmed by the light from other sources.

 

I think we are afraid to "turn down the lights," to let go of the sound and sights and thoughts and experiences that we attach ourselves to in the world around us. Perhaps we are afraid we will find ourselves surrounded by nothingness? Or that we will be alone and disconnected? And yet, having turned things down pretty far, I found myself, as I often do in such places, feeling closer to the world than ever, feeling its presence and feeling my place in it. In this way, the 'darker' we allow it to be, the more another face of the world presents itself to us, and an inner world rises up to meet the fainter objects that defy ordinary perception. Sometime it is true that the darker it is, the more we can see, along with blind Milton... There is nothing more reassuring than to find when we most let go, rather than a terrifying emptiness, something new and beautiful appears, while the emergence of deeper structures reminds us that no matter how dark it becomes, the world is always there; the more we disconnect from the busy outer world the more alive we may feel; and no matter how far away, we are never alone.

 

Kate Wolff

                                                                                    

               

           

Director Seth Warren welcomed all those in attendance and spoke about both the progress and the concerns for the growth and direction of our institute. He then made a major announcement, informing the CPPNJ community that he will not be seeking re-election in the spring. He was thanked by Associate Director Debi Roelke for all of his time and effort in meeting the challenges of merging and expanding CPPNJ, clearly demonstrated by the success and growth of all the new initiatives, programs and divisions over the past six years.

           

Chief among the issues facing our institute is the re-examination of our core training programs to increase their appeal and relevance in the current-day professional climate. Seth announced that he and Director of Training Michelle Bauer will spearhead the efforts in this direction.

          

In addition, the major committees reported on their activities and agenda for 2015-2016. Every committee is looking for interested CPPNJ members, faculty and candidates alike, to join up and participate. Carol Marcus is chair of the Program Committee and announced the major conferences planned for this year: Stephen B. Levine, "Obstacles to Loving" on November 15th; IDfest on November 21st; Laura A. Jacobs, "Transgender Issues and Identities" on February 28th; Virginia Goldner, "When Love Hurts" on April 16th; and Lewis Aron, "The Therapist's Emotional Experience" on May 1st. Carol also reminded members that if other committees or CPPNJ subgroups are planning a program, they should first check with her to make sure there are no schedule conflicts and that the calendar is balanced throughout the year.  

Rose Oosting, Director of Public Relations, discussed the role of the Public Relations Division, and detailed the opportunities members might have for creative expression in our marketing of our programs. She included various ideas for using technology, graphics and media to help expand our marketing reach in bringing our offerings to the professional community. Debi Roelke gave the report for the Recruitment Committee, headed by Roz Dorlen; the major agenda item is a conference in the works with potential co-sponsors at Rutgers University on the efficacy of psychoanalytic psychotherapy, with Jonathan Shedler as the featured presenter. Other collaborations with Rutgers, such as those being organized with the DSW program by Tom Johnson, are key initiatives in that they will allow us access to the very large professional listservs that various Rutgers groups maintain.

Marlene Rybinski, a member of the Culture and Outreach Committee, reported for the committee that the Cultural Forum I, a viewing and discussion of the video "Black Psychoanalysts Speak" in February, was very successful despite the snowy Sunday on which it was held. Cultural Forum II is planned for Sunday, October 18, featuring presentations by CPPNJ Faculty members Dr. Ruth Lijtmaer and Dr. Cheryl Thompson. 

           

Susan Stein, Director of the Psychotherapy Center, reported that the PC has earned $12,000 this past year with a very active participation by CPPNJ candidates. Many candidates use their PC hours to receive their training supervision free of charge, an important support to their candidate status; all CPPNJ faculty members are required to donate one weekly supervision hour to a candidate under the PC arrangement. Faculty who have openings for a PC supervisee are requested to contact Susan so she can let candidates know who is available. Dean of Faculty Bob Morrow reviewed the activities of the area divisions (Bergen/Passaic, Essex/Morris/Union and Middlesex/Mercer/Monmouth) as well as the various study groups currently active in the institute - the Child and Adolescent Interest Group, the Eating Disorders Study Group which is planning to introduce continuing education programming, and the Trauma and Neuropsychoanalysis Study Groups.
          

The general membership meeting was adjourned, followed by separate meetings for the faculty and the Candidates' Organization (see below). The main topic of the faculty meeting was an open discussion about the direction and mission of our core training programs in the current professional and mental health care climate. This was a continuation of the faculty discussion begun at the faculty meeting last May, and issues regarding how open and flexible our curriculum should be, how to improve accessibility without sacrificing depth in our training, how to improve our appeal and the various motivations that people have for seeking and sustaining this kind of training were raised in this ongoing discussion. The need for continuing the dialogue on these central issues for the mission of our institute was affirmed.

Our CPPNJ's Welcome Back Brunch on Sunday, September 27, was a wonderful experience for the Candidates' Organization. We got to meet with other candidates, our colleagues and our faculty.

Our Candidates' Organization meeting was small but lovely. We want to thank Madine DeSantis, Marissa Koziar and Melanie Karger, from the executive committee of the Candidates' Organization, for helping put it together. Thank you!

Our cordial meeting was filled with the initial introduction, exciting warm up games, humorous cartoons, and informative presentations by our faculty members: Susan Stein, Maureen Gallagher, Bob Morrow and Seth Warren. Thank you faculty!

We had thirteen candidates in attendance. Our candidates had opportunities to learn about the Psychotherapy Center's patient-to-candidate referral process; the workshops organized by the Couples Division that are open to all candidates; the institute's elaborate class scheduling process; as well as the institute's exciting upcoming events; and also how to get in touch with the director of the institute.

Our Candidates' Organization strives to be responsive to the needs of our candidates. We plan several meetings a year where we discuss business, including candidates' representation on the various committees of our institute. We've found out that our candidates are interested in getting together to continue to build our community, to watch and discuss movies, have potlucks, and to give and receive support while we go through our training. One of our candidates, Shoshana Stockelberg, expressed her interest in becoming the secretary on our executive committee. Thank you!

And finally, two of our candidates won vouchers for free workshops during the upcoming year in our final raffle game. Congratulations!

Please look for an email regarding upcoming meetings of the executive committee of the Candidates' Organization. They are informal, supportive and productive and everyone is welcome. Join us!

From left to right: Moshe and Chana Kahn, Monica Carsky and Sue Gerstley, Daniel Shaw and Cheryl Nifoussi, Mitchell Milch and Marlene Rybinski,  Arthur Pressley and Moshe Kahn

On Sunday, October 11, 2015 the CCPNJ Northern NJ Networking Group presented Dan Shaw, author of Traumatizing Narcissism, graciously hosted at the home of member Chana Kahn.

Dan's riveting talk began with his disclosure of his own alarming experience in which he was exposed to traumatic narcissistic cruelty at the hands of a charismatic guru.  This trauma led him on his own path of discovery to increase his understanding of this type of relational system of subjugation, not just in group settings but in dyads.  He focused on both the traumatizing narcissist's ("TM" for the sake of this article) parasitic feeding/expulsion onto the object to disavow his own "badness" (using a "vampire" metaphor) as well as the victim's ultimate loss of his own voice and subjectivity fueled by feelings of having no intrinsic worth, fear of annihilation and abandonment.

Generous and fascinating case examples were shared to illuminate the richness of the inter-subjective cycle that leads to the "loss of me" in relationship to the powerful negating other.  He discussed the use of chronic shaming of the subject's needs and desires leading the victim to feel his needs are irrelevant or contemptible. He highlighted the TM's attempt to erase his own feelings of helplessness and dependency and the way this gets translated to abhorrence when he experiences others' neediness. 

This "delusional infallibility" coupled with entitlement creates a rigid system that keeps all "goodness" inside the TM and projects "all badness" onto the other (for without the bad object the TM would experience objectlessness which is intolerable). This interacts with the subject's existing Fairbairnian moral defense - accepting unto the self all badness to maintain the existence of the needed good object.  The dyad's unconscious complementarity continues as the TM's counterpart already possesses a harsh critical superego which fits snugly into the TM's need to be grandiose and all-knowing. Double binds ensue making it difficult for the subject to break free as the TM becomes envious and threatened and is compelled to undermine any efforts toward independence which could render the TM "unneeded".  Sadly, at the same time the TM craves being needed he is also enraged at the victim's "entitlement" to express neediness and this ambivalence activates the other's fear and ambivalence perpetuating the torturous cycle.

 

As psychotherapists it is our clinical task to assist our traumatized patients in the restoration of the subjective self and the critical re-building of ego strength that has been compromised by repetitive trauma that was the relationship.

 

A delightful and all too brief Q & A followed Dan's presentation. This was a stimulating and memorable event. Many thanks to those who made this happen ...Cheryl Nifoussi for coordinating this effort...Mitchell Milch for helping with registration ...Chana and Moshe Kahn for being gracious hosts...and Dan Shaw for volunteering his time.