Dear family travelers:

Let go of the guilt.

Sure you work hard and don't spend enough time with the kiddos. Maybe you are home with a baby who doesn't sleep or a toddler who never sits still. Maybe your tweens and teens are doing a number on your confidence. "Are you really going to wear that, mom!!!!"

All the more reason to carve out a few days away from the kids.

Much as you love them, you could really use a break to relax and recharge with your significant other.

Lots of great advice for your spring break on TakingTheKids

Not only are such breaks good for your relationship, but they are good for the kids, says Dr. David Fassle, a child and adolescent psychiatrist who is a professor at the University of Vermont Medical School. They help teach them to be self-reliant. They see that you've got a life!  

So this Valentine's Day, skip the chocolates and flowers and make this year's Valentine's Day card an IOU for a just-us getaway.  

Go someplace you won't be surrounded by other people's children. Look for locales and hotels that cater to grown-ups-Wine Country, a boutique city hotel-and plan activities you wouldn't do with the kids. (My romance column can help you plan!)  

Now that you've got the trip organized, here's how to arrange leaving guilt-free:

1. THE KIDS' FAVE SITTER - Make sure your sitter-if not Grandma--is not only responsible, but someone the kids know and like. This is not the trip to try a new sitter, leave your teens in charge or leave them with a relative they haven't seen for months.

   Take a walking tour of New York with the new TakingTheKids app!

2. BACK UP FOR YOUR BACK UP sitter. And make sure you arrange a break for the sitter with play dates, etc.
3. LISTS AND MORE LISTS of emergency numbers, medical insurance policies, neighbors who can help, the vet, the car mechanic, the pizza place.
4. PLAN WITH THE KIDS AGES IN MIND. Younger kids likely will be more comfortable and secure in their own home with responsible adults they know, experts say, while older kids might prefer to bunk with a close friend. Just be prepared to reciprocate!
5. REVIEW the house rules with the kids (especially teens and tweens), so they understand the sitter is in charge and the consequences for disobeying.
6. MAKE SURE they have an itinerary with hotel phone numbers just in case your cell phone isn't working and give the kids a time you'll check in each day via phone, text or Skype.
7. DON'T FORGET THE PRESENTS - For the Sitter too!