Whenever we interact with others in either our personal or professional lives, we regularly engage in giving and receiving feedback. It happens both directly such as in a performance appraisal and indirectly as when an opinion or a non-verbal reaction is offered in response to a particular occurrence or situation. I think it is fair to say that both feedback and the absence of it govern our lives.

Clearly, there are many different contexts in which we can talk about feedback. This discussion will focus on on behavioral feedback within a work environment in which feedback means letting another person know on a timely and ongoing basis how well they are performing on the job, and includes both positive and negative input. This discussion pertains not only to situations in which individuals, usually managers or supervisors, are authorized and responsible to provide feedback, but also to random and unstructured feedback that might be offered by a qualified peer. 

Giving Feedback 

Supervisors who limit feedback to performance appraisal time seriously underutilize this valuable management tool. A manager should strive to be skillful enough to make feedback a normal, natural and non-threatening part of everyday organizational life. Additionally, the climate should be such that the feedback isn't just between managers and subordinates, but also between peers on a work team, or between people who must work together even though they report to different departments. Unfortunately, while effective feedback is an essential element of successful organizations, it is often a rare occurrence.

When managers are asked about the lack of effective feedback, they provide typical responses: "There's not enough time to do it right; the organization's culture doesn't support people using feedback as a management tool; good people know how they're doing, they don't need to be told by others; and positive feedback may be seen as insincere." However, the primary reason most managers are reluctant to offer feedback is that they perceive giving feedback (especially negative feedback) as being an uncomfortable experience and that many of them lack the skills to give feedback effectively.

Giving Negative Feedback 

Giving Positive Feedback:

Donald Clifton, cited by the American Psychological Association as the grandfather of Positive Psychology, believed that our lives are shaped by our interactions with others. A long conversation with a friend or a short interaction with a stranger both make a difference, sometimes positive, sometimes negative. Although these interactions might seem to be ineffectual, Clifton believed that they can profoundly affect our lives. Before his death in 2003, he and his grandson, Tom Rath, wrote How Full Is Your Bucket? to help people focus on the positive in their lives.

Clifton had a theory that was based on a simple metaphor of a "dipper" and a "bucket." According to this theory, each of us has an invisible bucket which contains our positive emotions. This imaginary bucket is continually emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it's empty, we feel awful."

Clifton's maintained that each of us has an invisible dipper with which we can either fill other people's buckets with positive emotions or dipping from others' buckets by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions. The theory also maintains that when we fill others' buckets, we also fill our own, and likewise, when we dip from others' buckets, we also diminish ourselves. A full bucket gives us a positive outlook and an empty bucket poisons our outlook. We make the choice every moment of every day whether we fill one another's buckets, or dip from it. These choices profoundly affect our relationships, productivity, health and happiness.

While working for The Gallup Organization, the authors surveyed more than 4 million employees worldwide on this topic, including more than 10,000 business units and more than 30 industries. Their studies led them to discover that individuals who receive regular recognition and praise:

• increase their individual productivity
• are more likely to stay with their organization
• receive higher loyalty and satisfaction scores from customers
• have better safety records and fewer accidents on the job

"Great recognition and praise can transform a workplace," the authors write. Their studies show that organizational leaders who share positive emotions have work groups with a more positive mood, enhanced job satisfaction, greater engagement, and improved team performance. According to the authors, the majority of us don't give or receive enough praise. As a result, we are much less productive and engaged in our jobs.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the number one reason people leave their jobs is because they "do not feel appreciated." Positive feedback, when authentic, is highly effective in motivating others. It's a technique that is severely underused. Often it is simply used to soften the blow of negative feedback as a way to pave the way for the "bad news." Organizational life has conditioned us to see positive feedback that way. Yet, when you give positive feedback without any strings attached, the results can be incredibly effective. 

Receiving Feedback

It's also clear that most people aren't good at receiving feedback. They get defensive and try to explain away their behavior by stating the reasons behind their actions; they don't listen well; or they attack the messenger. All of these responses are likely to result in the giver being less willing to give them feedback in the future.

Feedback from others is important because it helps us appreciate how our behavior affects them. Feedback provides us with the awareness of what we are doing right (and should continue doing) and gives us the opportunity to change our negative behavior in a positive way. Even if we disagree with the feedback, it's important to hear it out clearly and understand it. We may be coming across in unintended ways and not know it. There is probably nothing worse than being ineffective in ways that are clear to others but not apparent to us. Such knowledge is invaluable for developing and maintaining individual performance in organizations. People who are interested in enhancing their performance should do everything possible to make it easier for others to give them feedback.

Getting feedback, positive or negative, is sometimes difficult, and it's especially difficult if you are trying to get feedback from a subordinate. The following guidelines can make it easier for others to give you useful feedback:

Solicit feedback in clear and specific areas. It's always easier to give feedback if one is asked. It's even easier when a specific question is asked, such as "Would you mind sharing your thoughts on my presentation skills?"  

Paraphrase major points. Active listening helps ensure that real understanding is taking place.

Ask clarifying questions in order to better understand the feedback. Doing so helps the giver of the feedback realize that you are indeed interested and are sincerely trying to understand. 

Help the feedback giver use the right techniques for giving useful feedback. For example, if the feedback is too general, ask "Could you give me a specific example of what you mean?" Avoid making it more difficult for the giver of feedback than it already is. Reacting defensively or angrily or arguing with negative feedback will not be productive. If you are receiving positive feedback, avoid saying, "Oh, it was nothing, anyone could have done as well." Such a response to positive feedback is likely to turn off the feedback spigot. 

Don't ask for explanations. This point is perhaps the most important, yet it's the one that most people have trouble following. It's natural to want an explanation for the immediate feedback you're receiving. Unfortunately, in almost all cases, explanations can seem defensive and often end up in an argument. As a result, the giver backs off, thinking, "Hey, this is simply not worth the trouble," and is discouraged from giving additional feedback. Focus instead on understanding the behavior and its implications.  

Done properly, feedback need not be agonizing, demoralizing, or difficult, and the more practice you get the better you will become at it. It may never be your favorite means of communicating with employees, co-workers, or bosses but it does have the potential to make your workplace a much more productive and harmonious place to be.