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Pat Iannuzzi
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Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
~ Anthony Robbins
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"Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms, carry out your plan."
~ Paul J. Meyer
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"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
~ Henry David Thoreau
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"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score."
~ Bill Copeland
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It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.
~ Roy Disney
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Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
~ Carl Jung
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"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.
~ Dale Carnegie
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In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
~ Theodore Roosevelt
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"Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind, body and soul into something as is possible."
~ Urban Dictionary
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"How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you re making them feel good about you."
~ Dan Reiland
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Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm.
~ Ralph Archbold
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Charisma is not so much getting people to like you as getting people to like themselves when you're around.
~Robert Brault
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Welcome to the January 2014 edition of Insights. I hope you will find this month's selection of articles interesting and thought-provoking, and that you will take from these words at least one thought or idea that you can use to bring about a positive change in some aspect of your personal or professional life.
A Boiled Seed Will Not Sprout (It's All About Integrity)
 An aging king had no son to continue his reign after his passing. He decided he would adopt a son to succeed him, but he insisted that such an adopted son must be extraordinary in every sense of the word. So he launched a competition in his kingdom, open to all boys, no matter what their background.
The choice was narrowed down to ten outstanding boys. There was little to separate these boys in terms of intelligence, physical attributes and capabilities. The king said to them, "I have one last test, and whoever comes out on top will become my adopted son and heir to my throne." Then he said, "here are a few seeds of grain for each of you. Take them home and plant and nurture them for six weeks. At the end of six weeks, the one who has done the best job of cultivating the grain will become my son and my heir."
The boys took their seeds and hurried home. Each got a pot, prepared soil, and sowed his seeds. There was much excitement in the kingdom as the people waited to see which boy was destined to be their next king. In one home, the boy and his parents were almost heartbroken when the days stretched into weeks and the seeds failed to sprout. The boy did not know what had gone wrong. He had selected the soil carefully, he had applied the right quantity and type of fertilizer and he had been very dutiful in watering at the right intervals. He had even prayed over his pot day and night, and yet his seeds had not sprouted. Some of his friends advised him to buy seed from the market and plant those. "After all," they said, "how can anyone tell one seed of grain from another?"
But his parents, who had always taught him the value of integrity, reminded him that if the king wanted him to plant just any grain, he would have asked him to get his own seed. "If you plant anything other than what the king gave you, that would be dishonest. Maybe you are simply not destined for the throne.
The appointed day came and the boys returned to the palace. All of the other nine boys proudly exhibited pots of healthy seedlings. It was obvious that they had had great success. The king asked each of the boys who displayed pots of healthy seedlings, "Is this what came out of the seeds I gave you?" Each boy responded, "Yes, your majesty." The king nodded and smiled.
Then the king spoke to the boy who had been unsuccessful. The boy was shaking. He feared that the king might have him thrown into prison for wasting his seeds. "'What did you do with the seeds I gave you?" the king asked. "I planted them and cared for them diligently, Your Majesty, but alas they failed to sprout," the boy said.
He hung his head in shame, and the crowd jeered. But the king raised his hands and signaled for silence. Then he said, "My people behold your next king." The people were confused. "Why that one?" many asked. "How can he be the right choice?"
The king took his place on his throne with the boy by his side and said, "I gave all these boys boiled seeds. This test was not about cultivating grain. It was a test of character; a test of honesty. It was the ultimate test. If a king must have one quality, it must be that he have complete integrity. Only this boy passed the test. A boiled seed will not
sprout.
If you know of anyone who you think might also be interested in receiving Insights, please forward this issue on.
As always, I would be very interested in receiving your feedback.
Pat Iannuzzi 
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FIVE STEPS TO EFFECTIVE GOAL-SETTING
This is the time when many of us set goals for the new year. Goal setting is one of the most effective personal and career success techniques there is. It can be a powerful process for envisioning and shaping our ideal future, and for motivating ourselves to turn our vision of our future into reality.
Most of us generally desire improved results in one or more areas of our personal or professional lives. The same is true of most organizations. The results individuals and organizations produce, be they short-term or long-term, are primarily determined by the behaviors people exhibit on a daily basis. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, all our behaviors are goal-directed. We get what we are currently getting out of life because of our current behaviors, and our current behaviors are determined by what we consciously or subconsciously set out to achieve (i.e., our goals). It stands to reason, therefore, that our achievements in work and in life are strongly linked to our ability to set and achieve goals.
The Nature of Goals
A goal is an easily-definable, observable, attainable and measurable, performance outcome that an individual or organization intends to achieve during a specific period of time. It is often one of several components that make up a more wide-ranging objective. Setting a goal for achieving a specific level of income, for example, may be one goal toward attaining an overall objective of a secure and rewarding lifestyle. A goal is more like a personal mission linked to a specific activity, whereas an objective can be viewed as the overall end state. The ability to effectively set and achieve goals is a common characteristic of most successful people.
The following are five steps for effective goal-setting and achievement:
Step 1: Recognize the Importance of Goals
Living our lives without goals is like a ship without a rudder. We will bounce around from outcome to outcome in a haphazard manner at the mercy of the daily circumstances we encounter. Goals give our lives direction and purpose. When we set goals, our actions are more focused and we put into action the process of turning our vision into reality. Goals also keep us motivated and give us the drive we need to keep going. Goals also help us to sort out what is important and what is not.
Setting goals gives us clarity about what we ultimately want from life. They help us crystallize and articulate the desires floating in our minds. They help us to ensure that we are channeling our time, energy and efforts into things that really matter to us. Most of all, having goals allows us to live more consciously and deliberately.
Step 2: Set Specific Goals
Define your goal clearly and in detail. Describe in writing exactly what it is that you want to achieve. Otherwise you are simply making a wish. Avoid generalities such as "I will become," and use action verbs such as sell, earn, create, make and read to describe your goal. Develop a clear concept of what achieving your goal would look and feel like to you and others and a concrete measurement for determining when the goal has been achieved.
For example, instead of "I will become a more effective salesperson," write "I will increase my monthly sales by 15% by completing a training course on uncovering customer needs. Without a well-defined target to aim at, your goal will lack clarity and your goal-achieving behaviors will be vague and poorly focused. By setting precise goals, putting in dates, times and numbers so that you can measure achievement, you'll know exactly when you have achieved your goal, and can then take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
Step 3: Know Why You Want to Achieve Your Goal.
Develop a clear understand of why your goal is important enough for you to devote time and effort towards its attainment. Vividly imagine the benefits that will come to you through the achievement of your goal and also focus on the consequences of not achieving it. This will create a potent desire inside you that will motivate you to take the required actions to implement the necessary behaviors to make your goal a reality.
This will also help generate an unwavering commitment to the achievement of your goal. In the pursuit of any goal, there will be obstacles and challenges to be overcome, and the most powerful force you can summon to maintain your commitment and tenacity for goal achievement will be your dogged determination fueled by your desire to succeed. On the other hand, upon reflection you may discover that you do not sufficiently desire your goal to justify giving it the attention it requires. You can then focus your efforts on more important things.
Step 4: Determine if You Willing to Pay the Price for Achieving Your Goal?
Albert Einstein characterized the idea of doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result as the definition of insanity. In order to achieve a goal, it is almost always necessary to change our behaviors in some way. Otherwise we would already have achieved the particular goal. Behavioral change means that we will have to begin doing some things that we have not been doing before and stop doing some things we have been doing. In implementing goal-directed behavioral change, we will most likely encounter some discomfort and stress. To be successful, we must commit to persevere through the challenges ad obstacles we will face and hang on tenaciously to our personal vision.
This is what is meant by paying the price for success. It is simply not possible to have everything we want in life. Therefore, we need to prioritize what is most important, establish relevant goals in those key areas and forsake activities and interests which are not in alignment with our objectives or which may even be counterproductive to them.
Step 5: Develop a Comprehensive Action Plan
Dreams don't come true, plans come true. Probably the most significant reason why people fail to achieve goals, even those they sincerely desire and believe in, is because of the lack of a comprehensive action plan. Setting a goal is just one part of achieving success. Without a plan for its attainment a goal is little more than an idea.
Any goal, regardless of how clearly envisioned or well-written, requires a detailed description of the individual steps that need to be accomplished in order to succeed. A goal by itself is merely a destination, and like any physical destination, the most effective way to get from where we are to where we want to go is to follow a detailed map.
An action plan is such a map for achieving goals. It lays out the individual steps along with their completion dates that will bring about your goal as well as the resources and other people's assistance you will need. An action plan spells out and clarifies the who, what, when, why and how of a goal.
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WHAT IS YOUR DECISION-MAKING STYLE?
We live in a world of perceptions. Each of us has a certain manner of perceiving what something is or should be. Anything we can name or think about, whether it's an item, a person or thought; no matter what, can be perceived in a variety of ways.
Axiology - The Study of Decision-Making
Building on the work of several predecessors, Dr. Robert S. Hartman (1910-1973) who held Ph.D. degrees in mathematics, philosophy and law, sought to identify a simple, workable system for organizing the different ways in which human beings think and make decisions. Dr. Hartman combined his expertise in mathematics, philosophy and the social sciences to create the science of axiology which applies mathematical principles to philosophical and sociological concepts to analyze how our minds interpret our experiences and how we are most likely to react in any given situation. Axiology has provided a common language we can use to obtain useful insights into how and why we act as we do.
Three Distinct Thinking Styles
Based on his extensive research, Dr. Hartman proposed that there are three basic ways in which we perceive everything in the world: either as people, things or concepts. People obviously refers to our perceptions of individual persons. Things represents any tangible object, and concepts has to do with our intangible mental awareness of thoughts and ideas.
Dr.Hartman also demonstrated that we generally value people, things and concepts in one of three ways. We can value them either in terms of their uniqueness and individuality, their application and usefulness, or their organization and structure, and he named these three patterns the Personal, Practical and Analytical Dimensions of valuation respectively. The way in which we value something has a strong bearing on how we apply judgment in making decisions about it. Each of us can think and make value judgments (i.e., decisions) in all three of these ways, but we usually tend to develop a preference for one more than the other two.
Personal Dimension.The Personal Dimension is the dimension of uniqueness and individuality of people, things or concepts as they exist in themselves. There is no comparison of properties or fulfillment of specific requirements or definitions. When describing or valuing a person, thing or concept in the Personal Dimension, we becomes intimately involved. The person, thing or concept is being valued according to its uniqueness or irreplaceability. Personal valuations are expressed by phrases such as "I love you (person) because of who you are, that heirloom (thing) is priceless," and "I value loyalty (concept) above all else."
Practical Dimension. The Practical Dimension is characterized by a focus on making the best choices based on the relative value of a person, thing or concept. It involves elements of the real, material world, comparisons of good/better/best and seeing things as they compare to each other and to other things in their class. The Practical Dimension can be characterized by phrases such as "John is more competent than Susan (people); this chair is more comfortable than that one (things)," and "It is better to forgive and forget than to hold a grudge (concepts).
Analytical Dimension. The Analytical Dimension is associated with formal judgment. It focuses on whether a person, thing or concept fulfills its definition. It is associated with structured thinking, rules and yes/no determinations. Here our valuation is based on the fulfillment or non-fulfillment of required terms and conditions for something(person thing or concept) to exist. There is no middle ground or partial fulfillment in the Analytical Dimension. An expression of the Analytical Dimension in evaluating people would be "John is my son," meaning that John fulfills the requirements I hold for the definition of son. There is no emphasis placed on John's uniqueness (Personal Dimension) or whether John is a good or bad son (Practical Dimension). In regard to the valuation of things in the Analytical Dimension, we could say "This is not a car," or with regard to concepts, "Justice was done," again indicating whether each did or did not fulfill our definition of it.
Context
In order to gain a better understanding of the three thinking dimensions, consider the following hypothetical scenario. Three people, each representing one of the core dimensions of thinking (i.e., a Personal, a Practical and an Analytical thinker) and each having no real ability in the other two dimensions are sitting around a table. They are assembled to work on a project.
The Personal thinker starts immediately to approach the situation from a people perspective, wondering how the project will be accepted by the work team members and focuses on the impact the project will have on them.
The Practical thinker on the other hand, doesn't think about the people involved. This person begins talking about ways to get all the resources in place as quickly as possible to get things started. This person is concerned about the task at hand and is focused on getting results.
The Personal thinker and the Practical thinker get into a heated discussion over the project. The Practical thinker feels the Personal thinker is unnecessarily concerned about people issues and is holding up action on the project. The Personal thinker feels that the Practical thinker is being insensitive and maybe even a bit ruthless by putting results over the needs of people.
The Analytical thinker is annoyed by the infighting between the other two. This person feels everybody should slow down a bit and think things over in a logical, rational, manner. The Analytical thinker wants to understand the situation clearly first and then take appropriate action based on thorough thought and analysis. This person wants to discuss the important issues related to the project to remove any ambiguity and prevent any potential chaos. The Personal thinker and the Practical thinker feel the Analytical thinker is needlessly and irritatingly over-thinking things and is wasting valuable time.
Snap Decisions
The reality is that none of us is a pure thinker in any one dimension. We each possess the ability to think in each of these ways. While we have only one brain, we have two minds. We have both a conscious and a subconscious mind. We use both, but it is the subconscious mind that plays a greater role in the majority of decisions we make each day.
Some refer to the decisions made by the subconscious mind as snap decisions. Snap decisions are those reactive, instinctive, knee-jerk, decisions we make all the time. They are not conscious, rationally well-though-out, carefully weighed, decisions based on facts. Snap decisions are decisions we make reflexively in the blink of an eye and are based on intuition. Intuition is defined as knowledge from within; instinctive knowledge or feeling without the use of a rational process. Since intuition is not rational, subconscious decisions can often result in unproductive or negative outcomes.
Snap decisions can be characterized as reactive decisions while well-thought-out, conscious decisions can be labeled as reasoned decisions. It has been estimated that 80% to 90% of the decisions we make are snap decisions.
The key factors in our lives that determine whether we will make a conscious, (reasoned) decision or a subconscious (reactive) decision are time and stress. As long as we are making conscious, well-thought-out decisions, we can pay extra attention to each of the three thinking dimensions. We can take the time to assess a particular situation, think it through and consciously apply the most appropriate decision making style. The problem is that we usually don't have the luxury to make such slow, well-reasoned, methodical decisions.
Most of the time we are forced by circumstances to make quick decisions, usually in a stressful environment. Under such conditions, we usually defer to our preferred subconscious decision-making patterns and make snap decisions which may or may not give us the best results.
Blind Spots
When we combine axiology with the concept of intuition, we get what is called dimensional intuition. This leads us to a key principle regarding thinking style:
"The higher one's level of ability is in a given dimension of
thought, the more intuitive he or she is in that dimension.
This is especially true when we are rushed or under stress in what are referred to as high velocity environments. Whenever we make these kinds of subconscious decisions we rely heavily on our situational intuitions. When we don't have a high level of thinking ability in a certain dimension, we can suffer from blind spots. We call them blind spots because when we are not "thinking about thinking," and reacting, we instinctively think with the pattern of our higher dimension first, and as a result, can become blind to the others if they are sufficiently low relative to the higher dimension(s).
Because we rely primarily on subconscious decision-making, anything not seen intuitively can be missed, and we can become in effect, blind to it. When our blind spots cause us to miss the important aspects of a situation, we are more likely to make poor or wrong decisions.
So What Does This All Mean?
The significance of Dr. Hartman's work is that it can be very advantageous to know and understand the implications of your own personal decision style. Self-Awareness is considered to be a critical attribute of successful people in virtually every field. By understanding what you value in making decisions and by recognizing what drives others' decision styles, you can dramatically increase your interpersonal effectiveness. Click to find out how you can learn more about your decision-making style.
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YOUR PERSUASIVE EDGE
People often associate the topic of persuasion primarily with the concept of selling, but the importance of effective persuasion skills really pertains to every one of us regardless of our individual vocation. Every day each of us is involved to some degree in influencing the thoughts and actions of others. In fact, the path to success in life lies to a very large extent in gaining the cooperation of others. In this edition of Insights, we continue with our ongoing segment dedicated to the topic of persuasion.
PERSUADE WITH CHARISMA
The best definition of charisma that I have run across is that it is the ability to positively influence others by connecting with them physically, emotionally and intellectually. Ultimately, charisma is a combination of effective interpersonal and communication skills that generate an aura of personal magnetism or charm that attracts us to others and causes us to like them. Charisma arises largely from non-verbal forms of communication expressed primarily by how we act around others and how we say what we say. Developing charisma is a powerful part of effective persuasion. People are drawn to and are receptive to influence by charismatic people. It is the very essence of personal power.
Charisma is not the same as rapport. Rapport is an emotional bond or friendly, harmonious connection between people based on mutual liking, trust, and a sense that they understand and share each other's concerns, values, and view of the world. It is a perceived affinity between two or more people. Charisma has more to do with what a person projects to the world and is a more one-sided dimension. Charismatic people use their skills to get people on their side to they can influence their thinking and behavior. For this reason, charisma is often linked to leadership ability.
Each of us has surely encountered people who've inspired us with their enthusiasm and motivated us by their passion. They have appealed to our emotions as well as our minds, and we may have found ourselves quite willingly drawn to them and performing beyond expectations to accomplish their goals. But what is the source of this special persuasive power that gives a person the ability to capture the imagination of another person, inspiring support and devotion? What are its ingredients? The following are three things each of us can do to increase our charisma and, thereby, become more powerful persuaders.
1. Project a Charismatic Image
Our personal image is derived from the perceptions other people form about us, and is the result of what we communicate to them, often non-verbally. It is determined by everything from how we look to the attitudes we display. In short, it is reflected in the way we present ourselves, physically, emotionally and intellectually. Others can sense a great deal about us from the non-verbal messages we are continually sending out, and through them, they consciously and subconsciously form strong perceptions about us.
Since charisma denotes personal attractiveness, it is important that we project an attractive/magnetic image in order to be charismatic. This is not about being physically attractive (many non-attractive people are charismatic), but rather about projecting positive images through our posture, movement, dress, gestures, facial expressions, mood and thoughts. It means being enthusiastic, having a positive attitude and exhibiting an upbeat demeanor, such as by smiling and moving about in an animated manner. It means communicating self-confidence, poise and composure. These are all qualities and attributes that generate charisma and which causes others to find us appealing and attractive. The term personal presence is often used to characterize the projection of a charismatic image.
2. Speak with Authority
Speaking with authority means communicating with credibility and skill, before a single other person or a group. Credibility has to do with being believable, sincere and knowledgeable. If you are perceived to lack integrity or regarded as not really knowing what you're talking about, you will never be perceived as being charismatic no matter how dynamic you may be because your lack of credibility will form an impenetrable barrier to your listener's receptivity.
Charismatic people are also skillful speakers. They usually speak with a smooth rhythm and resonant tone. They vary the volume and pitch of their voices to keep their listeners' attention and use inflection for emphasis. Additionally, they make effective use of non-verbal communicators such as eyes, face, hands and posture to connect with their audiences. They speak with ease and comfort which conveys self-confidence, a quality people find very appealing. People love to follow and be influenced by others who are confident in themselves and their abilities. A person doesn't have to be a great speaker to be charismatic, but he or she does need to be a competent one. If you don't feel that you are as competent a speaker as you would like to be, then take some steps to become more effective in this key element of charisma.
3. Exude Passion
Passion is critical to generating charisma. When people can sense your passion and sincere conviction, for your cause, they will get the feeling that you are authentic and believable. Passion is very contagious. When you communicate your passion to the people around you, they will begin to absorb your energy, and will want to get on board emotionally. We all enjoy being around people who exhibit genuine passion. Because charismatic people connect emotionally, they stir up powerful feelings inside others which makes them want to listen to and follow their ideas.
Charismatic people usually make us feel they are talking directly to us. They make us feel valued and special, as if we were the most important people in the world, and this further reinforces their appeal and attractiveness. Additionally, when they are communicating one-on-one, they make the effort to listen actively. They give others their full attention and exhibit a genuine interest in other people's lives.
Charisma can be a challenging concept to get our minds around. One way to get a better understanding of it is to consider the opposite of charisma. Imagine someone addressing a group, who is delivering a bland and uninspiring message; who speaks hesitantly and slowly with minimal vocal variety or inflection; who employs hardly any gestures or facial expressions and stares at his or her audience aimlessly rather than making eye contact. When it comes to projecting charisma, this is the person we definitely don't want to be. We want to be the opposite!
Ask us a question about persuasiveness.
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Pat Iannuzzi
Symbiont Performance Group
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