"Manners are a sensitive awareness to the feelings of others.
If you have that awareness, it doesn't matter what fork you use."

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Lizzie Post   Anna Post
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THE AWESOME ETIQUETTE PODCAST
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Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning have launched their new Awesome Etiquette podcast!

In their podcast, the two cover etiquette in their lives, delve into historical and traditional aspects of etiquette and salute individuals and organizations who are shining examples of good etiquette. Tune in to hear what they've got to say!
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ASK PEGGY
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Q
My girlfriends are on new diets, and our conversations constantly focus on weight loss. I'm all for healthy eating, but I'd rather talk about other topics. How do I shift the discussion? 

A

Try one of these strategies:

1. Show empathy.

At first, cut your friends some slack and be happy for them: They're excited about getting healthy. And you never know - their enthusiasm could inspire you to rethink bad habits.

2. Prepare to switch. 

Be ready with other topics of interest to the group: love lives, families, careers, mutual friends, the latest books, travel. Get the ball rolling.

3. Be direct.

If the conversation goes on and on, you may have to be a bit blunt and say, "Hey! I'm happy about your efforts, but can we talk about something else?"

 

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Read more of Peggy's advice each month in Good Housekeeping.  
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THE WELL MANNERED WEDDING
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Read Peggy Post's thoughts on today's most nuanced wedding dilemmas in her New York Times column.

Most recently:
On dealing with generous, but uncomfortable offers and wedding outfit drama.
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THE DINNER PARTY DOWNLOAD 
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Lizzie Post and Daniel Post
Senning are monthly guests on
The Dinner Party Download
a weekly culture and arts shows hosted by Rico Gagliano and Brendan Newnam, and produced
by American Public Media.

You can listen to the whole
show, or scroll down to pick and choose segments.

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ETIQUETTE AT WORK
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Read Peter Post's blog

With things changing faster every day, do manners actually matter anymore? This week, Peter answers this probing question.

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Digital Manners no Dan head

Problem with a co-worker?
Greetings!
 
How are you? We hope you sailed through the holiday season with bells on and are now warm and cozy and enjoying the fresh new year! EPI has been busy from the get-go.

Lizzie traveled to Omaha, Nebraska to kick off the 50th anniversary of the Omaha Symphony's Debutante Season. She attended a Patrons Cocktail Party, a Meet and Greet and spoke during a luncheon. Lizzie said, "I was so overwhelmed by the generosity and spirit that I found in Omaha, I didn't want to leave."

Anna has been working hard revising our Wedding Etiquette for Professionals program. The program will be offered along with our Train the Trainer programs as a way for wedding professionals to gain knowledge and become experts in the field of wedding etiquette.

Peggy attended a fabulous book signing event at Jennifer's Boutique (a high-end women's clothing store) in Fort Meyer's, Florida.
Peggy Post at Jennifer's Boutique in Fort Meyers, Florida.
 
Peter and Tricia have escaped the cold to sunny Florida (and we in Vermont are jealous). in addition to writing his column and managing EPI from his other office, Peter is doing more research for the second edition of his golf book...which is odd because the manuscript is complete...hmmm. When's that tee time?

Dan has been wearing a suit by day and his mountain man flannel by night. He has been traveling for seminars and returning home to work on generators and freezing pipes. 'Tis the winter life here in Vermont!

We certainly hope you've been well since our last newsletter and remember: We want to hear from you! What are your thoughts? Are there articles you've really enjoyed or topics you'd like us to cover? Let us know at [email protected].
 
  THREE ENGAGEMENT DON'TS 
    

 

Holiday cheer often leads couples to start the New Year with the news, "We're engaged!" Between Thanksgiving and New Year's many people are  sharing news of their engagement. Which leads to the first engagement don't:

 

1. Don't share your engagement news on social media before sharing it with your family.

You're engaged, you're so excited, and you can't wait to tell everyone! The world of social media sometimes makes us forget the importance of face-to-face and verbal communication. But before you update your status for all to see, be sure to tell parents and children firs-ideally in person or over the phone if that is the only possibility. People want to hear the news directly from you! Family, such as grandparents, and close friends can be hurt if they find out news of your engagement through something as impersonal as a group email or a Facebook post. So, tell the most important people first, and ask them in turn not to share the news until you've made all your personal announcements. Then, tweet and share away.

 

2. Avoid the rush to gush.

It happens so quickly-you're engaged one second, and the next, everyone is asking the date, the location, and the names of everyone in your wedding party. Despite your excitement, don't get too caught up in the pressure to have all the answers. Instead of sharing undecided plans or digging yourself into a hole by making promises you can't keep, pause a moment and say, "It's so early in our planning, we still have lots of things to decide!"

 

3. Don't forget the big picture.

With sites like Pinterest full of beautiful wedding images it's easy to be inspired by every tiny element of wedding planning. But it's also easy to get lost in those details, even early on. Once you know your date and location, talk with your partner about your top big-picture priorities for the wedding; maybe food and music, or the invitation and flowers. This will help you create your vision and keep the focus on what's most important to the two of you as the decisions and expenses mount. And while you're prioritizing your top elements of wedding planning, put the plans down from time to time and spend time together on the other interests you share.

 
 FOUR BUSINESS ETIQUETTE RESOLUTIONS 
 

Looking for a way to better yourself in the workplace this year? Here are some suggestions for business etiquette New Year resolutions.

 

1. Send a Thank-you Note

In the business world, thank-you note expectations are shifting, meaning that a "thank you" e-mail is now an accepted form of thanks. However, handwritten notes will forever carry the most meaning and it's never "wrong" to send one. Show thanks to a co-worker for a job well done, or to a client for taking the time to meet with you. It doesn't have to be terribly long or gushing, but expressing thanks and appreciation can go a long way toward solidifying a positive business relationship.

 

2. Master the Name Game

Like writing thank-you notes, remembering people's names will never go out of style. Whether it's knowing the names of all of the employees in your department, or learning the name of the team members on a new job you've started, names are both personal and important. Is this an area in which you struggle? Try creating a little game. Begin by using their name when you can, "It's good to see you, Jess." Then return to your office and say, "Jess, who went to Jamaica for the holidays." Associating the two can help your mind recall a name when necessary.

 

3. Cut the Gossip

Whether it's bringing personal lives into the office or talking about a co-worker's performance, gossip within the workplace is one of the most lethal forms of communication.  Communication is very important, so make sure it's good communication. Keep it positive and constructive so that the topic doesn't turn into a big game of telephone. If you find yourself indulging in gossip, think before talking: Is this really something that needs to be shared? Turn down invitations to gossip by responding with a neutral tone, "I couldn't say" or, "That's not mine to talk about."

 

4. Give Your Attention

In the era of computer screens and hand-held devices, we often forget the importance of giving someone our full, undivided attention. Make an effort to put your cell phone down when meeting with a co-worker. Put your computer to sleep when taking an important business call. We tend to over estimate our abilities to multitask, leading us to send a false message to others that we are paying attention, when we likely aren't. This year, nix some of the screen time and up your face-to-face interactions.

 

 

For more information on business etiquette, check out Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business, 3rd Edition or visit www.emilypost.com.
 
   ASKING OTHER PARENTS FOR HELP 

 

Winter play dates are a fun way to get kids together when the weather may not be ideal for a game of tag in the backyard. But what does a parent do when play dates start to feel less like an opportunity for children to make their own fun, and more like a job after work? How can you politely ask other parents to help out with some of the after school entertaining?

 

Switch Duties.

Many families run on different schedules; so take the time to consider carpooling. "Peter, could you take care of dropping the kids off this week and I can drop them off next week?" or maybe  one family does the morning drop off, while another does the after-school pick up. Splitting the obligation helps out both families, without putting the burden too heavily on one.

 

Snack Pact.

When we were kids, we loved snacks, but it takes becoming a parent to realize that the grocery bill for those snacks adds up. If you have an agreement with a family to do the after school routine consider offering to contribute a few dollars per week to the "snack fund." If you're planning a trip to the ice cream store on a Friday for your son and his friend John, it's okay to ask John's parents to pack a few dollars for him to buy a cone. Another option is to ask if the parents would be willing to pack a snack for their child to have after school. This is not only an opportunity to lift the financial burden a bit, but it also helps avoid any problems that sometimes come with picky eaters.

If the schedule switches week by week, you may agree that "when the kids are at my house, I'll feed them snacks," and vice versa. Communicate with the other parents to be clear on what you need.

 

House Rules.

Most homes run on the "our house, our rules," motto. That being said, it's important to communicate with kids about expectations within your house. These may be as simple as taking off snow boots before walking through the house, or putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Use this as a learning opportunity, "Amy, could you show your friend Mary how you always put your toys away when you're finished playing?" Often times there is no need to communicate these expectations to parents as well, but if after-school play dates are becoming episodes of Animal House, it's worth mentioning it to the other parents to see if they can help talk to their children and set ground rules. 

 

For more information on parenting etiquette, check out Emily Post's Etiquette 18th Edition or visit www.emilypost.com. 
ETIQUETTE BITES |Holiday Gift Thank You 
 


Still have some gifts to show your appreciation for? Anna Post talks about the difference between verbal thank-yous and written notes.
AWESOME ETIQUETTE WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU!

The Awesome Etiquette podcast, hosted by Dan and Lizzie is looking to hear from you! So don't be shy. Send in your etiquette questions, awesome etiquette salutes, etiquette confessions, or any suggested topics you'd like to hear about on the podcast to [email protected]. You can also post questions to our Facebook or Twitter page using #AwesomeEtiquette so we know you want your question answered on the show!

And don't forget to subscribe via iTunes - IT'S FREE!


Awesome Etiquette is a part of The Infinite Guest Network from American Public Media.

 

IDEAS ON PINTEREST | Get Inspired. Visit our boards.
 
 
Need an extra boost of motivation at the turn of this New Year? Check out our Pinterest boards for some of our favorite quotes and inspiration! 
EMILY POST & ETIQUETTE IN THE NEWS
 
Peggy Post
Anna Post
To see more news stories with Post advice, visit our newsroom.

 













Please visit our contact page to reach us, or you can find us on Facebook and Twitter. We love hearing from you, so please feel free to post to our social media and join in the conversation. We may not always be able to respond, but we read every question and comment. From our family to yours we hope you have a wonderful January! As always, thank you for your continued interest in etiquette and The Emily Post Institute.      

Sincerely,

The Posts