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In This Issue
Three A's for Wedding Guests
In the Open
Smartphone Courtesies
Etiquette Bites!
Pinterest: Travel
Etiquette in the News
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Ask Peggy


 
Q: My friend's husband was planning a surprise bash for her birthday, but I didn't know it was hush-hush and called her directly to RSVP. I feel terrible - is there anything I can do?
 
A: When a surprise is planned, there's always a chance that word will get out. All you can do is apologize to your friend's hubby and go to the party. Don't dwell on your understandable mistake (after all, you didn't even know it was a surprise). Play it off with a few "Guess what I did?" jabs at yourself, then move on.  
 

Read more of Peggy's advice each month in Good Housekeeping 

 

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The
Dinner Party
Download 

Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning are monthly guests on The Dinner Party Download a weekly culture and arts show hosted by Rico Gagliano and Brendan Newnam, and produced by American Public Media.

This week, Lizzie did a full takeover of the Dinner Party Download Instagram account. Follow
for the latest.  
Etiquette At Work


Read Peter Post's column "Etiquette at Work."

From shaking hands to proper introductions, knowing your manners can help new business relationships begin on a comfortable note.



New York Times logo The Well-Mannered Wedding

Read Peggy Post's thoughts on today's most nuanced wedding dilemmas in her New York Times column.

Most recently:
On the protocol of inviting parents of children who are in the wedding and having shower guests who aren't wedding guests.  
Digital Manners no Dan head

Problem with a co-worker?

Greetings!  

 

Happy August! And it is indeed a very happy month for our family: Anna is getting married! Tricia, Peter, Lizzie, and Anna have been hard at work tending to all the final details that go into preparing for a wedding.

Lizzie went with Anna to her final dress fitting, which went very well. Peter and Tricia have been prepping their house for the rehearsal dinner and Sunday brunch. Virginia Keyser our CFO and close friend is getting ready to host the bridesmaid's luncheon. Of course, amid all of it, we're all still working away, doing interviews, working on columns, and prepping materials for our clients. August has indeed been quite a month, so far!

We are also very pleased to announce that this month will see the launch of Lizzie and Dan's podcast Awesome Etiquette. We'll make a special announcement for the launch, and we hope you'll join us by downloading episode one as soon as it is available.

For those of you on Instagram, you can follow Lizzie's takeover of the Dinner Party Download's Instagram feed. Just follow their handle: @dinnerpartydnld. Lizzie will taking DPD fans on an Insta-cation for a glimpse into Vermont life.
 
We hope you enjoy this month's newsletter and as always please feel free to reach out to us on Facebook, Twitter, our blog The Etiquette Daily.
 


What are your thoughts? Are there articles you've really enjoyed or topics you'd like us to cover? Let us know at: newsletter@emilypost.com.
Three A's for Wedding Guests
 
 

Between attire, arrival, and attendance, we've got you covered for the day of the wedding so you'll be an A+ guest.

 

Attire

Reference the invitation for attire specifics such as black tie or if you may need to make adjustments for an outdoor ceremony. Have an outfit planned in advance so you aren't rushing to the dry cleaners at the last minute. If you are unsure about a potential option, call a friend or a member of the bridal party for a second opinion.

Arrival

While the ceremony will probably begin promptly, it is best to arrive twenty to thirty minutes prior to the time specified on the invitation. This prevents any chance of interrupting the beginning of the ceremony.

 

Attendance  

Pictures: There's nothing like a good wedding picture, but that being said, be cautious not to get in the way of the photographer. You neither want to physically obstruct a professional shot with your personal Instagram, nor do you want to be a camera hog.

Seating: Whether you are seated with your closest friends or with people you've never met, embrace your table. Keep in mind that the bride and groom probably put you there for a reason. Stick to your assignment, and do not switch, no matter how tempting it may be.

 

Toasting: Toasts are reserved for very close friends of the bride and groom, people who have been invited to say something or those who have something unique and new to add. This is not the time for a long-lost relative to make their debut with a speech about the real meaning of love.

 

Greeting: At some point in the evening, make an effort actually see the bride and groom, as well as the hosts. Most guests probably have a similar agenda, but a face-to-face "Congratulations" and "Thank you" go a very long way.

 

Drinking: There's no beating around the bush here: Don't drink too much. Weddings are a time for fun and celebration, but remember that neither the "one too many" reputation nor the hangover are worth it.

 

 

Other wedding questions on your mind? Check out Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 6th edition.
 
In the Open



You're sitting in the break room, half-mindedly listening to the conversation next to you, when you overhear one of your colleagues say something so out of line that you hardly know how to react. First, take a deep breath to avoid acting irrationally. Second, consider that sometimes, incidents such as these are best acknowledged immediately, respectfully, and in the open.

 

When a colleague makes a racist, sexist, or otherwise inappropriate comment, keep in mind the following suggestions on how to handle the situation:

 

  • Challenge the remark, but don't criticize the speaker. The intention should not be to make the offender appear to be a terrible person, but rather to send the message that such behavior is not acceptable in the workplace. Rather than saying "Susan you're so ______" say something along the lines of "Susan that remark is _________."
  • Use general comments to redirect the conversation away from the negative and towards the positive. Example: "Mark, I think we all know Susan got her job because of her intellect and hard work ethic, not because of her looks."
  • Focus on the immediate situation at hand. This is not the time to discuss past incidents, nor is it the time for an open floor debate.
  • Repeat offenders may be oblivious to the fact that their behavior is offensive and hurtful. Acknowledging this clearly and concisely is important.

In part, as a company employee, you have a responsibility to confront or report this kind of behavior. If such remarks are becoming regular, let the offender know that if it continues you will enlist the help of superiors. The most important thing to keep in mind is that you want to eliminate negativity in order to build relationships and a positive work environment.

 

Curious about other business etiquette? Check out Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business, 3rd Edition or visit www.emilypost.com. 

Smartphone Courtesies

 

 

 

With the speed of modern day technology, inevitably comes an element of unpredictability. But what exactly do you do when these technological problems arise?

 

Pocket Dial (a.k.a Butt Dial)

Yes, it's happened to the best of us. We press a wrong button to realize that five minutes later an entire conversation has been left on someone's voicemail. No matter what the circumstances, immediate damage control is necessary. Get in touch with whomever you pocket dialed in the manner in which you normally communicate. A quick call, text, or email apologizing for the error and anything that was overheard should be sufficient.

 

Dropped Call

You're multi-tasking -walking down the street and talking on the phone-when suddenly the call drops. In all cases, the person who initiated the call should be the one to call back. Otherwise you just end up in voicemail tag. If you were the one who placed the call, simply re-dial and apologize for whatever may have happened. If you are unable to get through, leave a message or send a text, particularly if you need to let them know that you'll get back to them as soon as you reach an area with better reception.

 

Wrong Text

At the moment you hit "Send" you realize, "Oh no! I meant to send that to someone else!" The solution is simple. A quick re-text "Oops, I'm so sorry," is all you need. More important, don't forget to then resend the original message to the correct person!

 

While errors using smartphones may sometimes feel fatal, anyone who has ever owned one of these devices has dealt with something similar. Correcting mistakes in a timely manner is the key to taking the upper hand with any technological mishaps.

 

For more on cell phone etiquette check out Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th edition or visit www.emilypost.com 
Etiquette Bites!
How to Hold a Fork



Lizzie Post talks about how the way you hold your fork can be an important representation of your image to others.

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