Don't Board The Polar Express this Holiday!

In any relationship, where two are gathered in conversation, we are rigged to respond to the other with a polar or opposite idea. My brother says, "You know, Steve, the economy looks awful for 2015". And before he finishes his breath, I am thinking "not necessarily". My daughter says, "Dad I'm thinking of buying a new car" and I can immediately spout out, "wait a minute - are you sure you need a New one?."  My wife can even say, "you're the best!" and without a blink I can "go polar" and tromp on her gratitude with, "You're not seeing the whole picture!".

In Improvisation Theater there is an exercise the actors do to warm up. It's called Yes-And. Whatever your fellow thespian says out on that stage your first response must be, Yes. The other says you are an imbecile and should apply for the local village idiot job. You must answer, "Why Yes, of course, what a novel idea!"... or something like that.

What if we offered a gift to one another this holiday, a small present, by responding to our family, friends, and strangers with an understanding Yes to what they just said?  Rather than Go Polar, we simply see the personal sense that they were making.  And without going to our ever-important, egoic brilliance,  we just pause, deeply hear their own unique experience and simply say, "Yes, that makes sense."  Or "tell me more", or "I love that about you".  What a wonderful gift for all of those that you come in contact with this next few weeks. Spread the cheer!