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WORK IN PROGRESS COUNSELING SERVICES, LLC
| Issue No. 5 |
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Greetings!
"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes...
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
~ Neil Gaiman
According to dictionary.com, a "resolution" is a firm determination to DO something. Every year, on December 31st, people decide that the upcoming year will be different because they plan to do something differently. They are going to get out of debt, lose weight, change jobs, go back to school, quit drinking, get in relationships, get out of relationships, and the list continues.
However, staying focused on the goal for any sustainable period of time is difficult. Just ask any gym manager or personal trainer, they will tell you about all those who signed up so excitedly in January and disappeared by Valentine's Day.
Then, there are those who in their unsuccessful attempts to turn over a new leaf return to their vices with a vengeance; the smokers have increased from one pack a day to two and the dieters have traded in their celery and yogurt for cookies and french fries.
Why do people torture themselves every year with these empty promises?
You start off with the best of intentions. However, old patterns die hard, even when you want to destroy them. True change requires continuous effort; however, alone, most people do not have the motivation to stay focused on their goals. Individual therapy and group therapy are powerful vehicles for growth and change, and are intended to help people who need to gain support, increase self-awareness, and learn new ways to cope with personal or interpersonal challenges.
Sincerely, Cherie May, LPC
Work In Progress Counseling, LLC
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THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN MAKING
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
If you are like most everyone else on the planet, you have made a New Year's Resolution and then broken it.
"Polls have found that by springtime, 68% of Americans who made a New Year's resolution have broken it. After one year, only 15% claim success" (WebMd.com). Success depends on two things, appropriate planning and desire. Therefore, it is imperative to renew your desire to accomplish your goal and keep adjusting your plan until you succeed. The best way to attain your goal is to focus on the following five techniques. - Embrace a realistic vision of success. Unless you win the lottery or have an extremely generous rich uncle, no one can get out of debt overnight. The 50-lbs that you need to lose were not gained nor will they be lost in a month. Unrealistic expectations can sabotage your success.
- Implement an effective strategy. Turn your attention to short-term goals. Rather than concentrating on losing 100 pounds in the coming year, make your goal to eat vegetables four times a day and do at least 20 minutes of cardio a day for the next two weeks.
- Renew your commitment. Review your resolutions periodically (at least quarterly, preferably monthly). Determine what is working well, what is not, and make the necessary adjustments to your goals.
- Do not quit. We are our own worst critics. People are much more likely to overlook their success and to beat themselves up over setbacks. Instead of giving themselves credit for doing well and forgiving one small mistake, people consider themselves complete failures. The expectation of perfection is unrealistic and makes giving up a likely outcome.
- Learn from your mistakes. As if disappointments in the first four steps are not bad enough, a lot of people then repeat the entire process. They readopt their impractical vision, continue the same strategy that was not working, and quit when things go badly. This is why by March, all those gyms that were overflowing with new members in January are back to the December numbers.
If you have not made resolutions, fear not. Pick another date -- February 1st, your birthday, the anniversary of your diagnosis -- whatever date is meaningful for you. Set S.M.A.R.T. goals, and then focus on participation rather than performance. Lastly, seek the help from family, friends, and professionals that you need.
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Work in Progress Counseling, LLC
Corporate East Building
213 Gadsden Hwy Suite 102
Birmingham, AL 35235
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 S.M.A.R.T.
Goal Setting
 Setting goals involves you making decisions about what you really want. Goals do not necessarily have to be gigantic. Actually, if your original goal is too great, you may be overwhelmed, causing you to give up or change goals rather than achieve anything.
Remember, there will be setbacks. Setting smaller goals is preferable so that setbacks do not throw you completely off track. By breaking down your goals in smaller, workable units, you are more likely to make them come true. Remember, even the superstars had to start somewhere.
In Attitude Is Everything: If You Want to Succeed Above and Beyond, Paul Meyer describes the characteristics of a S.M.A.R.T. goal as one that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. Below is a definition of each of the S.M.A.R.T. goal criteria. Specific: Goals should be written and clearly define what you are going to do. The goal should be clear and straightforward. Know exactly what you will be doing and when.
EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, "Lose some weight." A specific goal would say, "Join a gym and work out three days a week."
Measurable: Goals should be measurable so that you have tangible evidence that you have accomplished the goal.
EXAMPLE: "I will save $50.00 each pay period." This is something that you will then be able to measure at the end of the month, and as a result you will be able to note achievement in this area.
Attainable: Goals should be achievable; they should stretch you slightly so you feel challenged, but defined well enough so that you can achieve them. You must possess the appropriate knowledge, skills, and abilities needed to achieve the goal.
Example: Instead of saying, "I'm going to win the lottery so I can quit my job that I hate." aim for reviewing your resume and applying to at least 3 new job opportunities each week.
Realistic: To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. Plan only what you can actually do.
Example: Instead of thinking, "I'll never have dessert again", only eat dessert on Saturday night. Or instead of saying, "I will walk 20 miles a week", say, "I will walk 7 miles a week". Anything extra is a bonus.
Timely: Goals should be linked to a time-frame that creates a practical sense of urgency, or results in tension. With no time frame tied to it there is no sense of urgency.
EXAMPLE: If you want to get your PhD, when do you want get it by? "Someday" won't work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, "by age 40," then you've set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal.
Finally, monitor and track each small gain you make toward reaching your larger goal. Do not beat yourself up. Obsessing over the occasional slip will not help you achieve your goal. Take it one day at a time and do the best you can each day. Experts say it takes about 21 days for a new activity, such as exercising, to become a habit, and 6 months for it to become part of your personality. Your new healthful habits will become second-nature in no time. So, stick with it. If your resolution has run out of steam by mid-February, don't worry. Start over! You can make a "New Year's resolution" any time of year. |
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The Mission of Work in Progress Counseling, LLC is to provide direction, guidance, and support in a safe environment for those who desire emotional, relational, and spiritual healing.
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