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Books by Dr. Kort now available in print and electronically!
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Greetings!
If you are new to the Kort Report, I welcome you to my newsletter. If you have already been a subscriber then I thank you for remaining interested in the work I do.
This month I will be presenting a talk at the National Conference for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (www.malesurvivors.org) which will be in New York.
I have long worked with this population. I am presenting a workshop on Erotic Logic to help these men understand that even if their sexual thoughts, feelings and desires originated from having been sexually abused, they don't have to be labeled as bad and wrong.
Often sexual abuse survivors have hypersexuality, trauma re-enactment where they return to the sexual scene of the crime repeatedly in an unconscious effort to resolve the trauma. Clearly doing this is unhealthy and re-traumatizing.
However, after the therapy heals the abuse and resolution occurs, these men--and many women--are left with a sexuality that now has an imprint from the abuse. Therapists often tell these clients that as long as they engage in any behavior or fantasy that involves the sexual trauma that occurred toward them they are unhealthy and unresolved.
I disagree with the fact that if sexual play originates from abuse it is always bad and wrong. While it might be true for many people, it is certainly not true for all.
My goal in my therapeutic work is to help people understand that all of our sexual fantasies and behaviors have positive intent.
No matter how crazy you think your sexual thoughts, fantasies and behaviors are, experiencing shame around them just makes it worse. Most people feel shame because they feel alone, odd or that others who share their sexual desires appear marginalized and negative in the media. Shame is never good for sexual issues.
As Jack Morin, author of The Erotic Mind, says, "If you go to war with your sexuality, you will lose."
I wholeheartedly agree.
Obviously some sexual fantasies and desire are better left alone and not acted upon either because they are illegal, will go against your values or the values of others and harm others. I am not addressing those when I speak of removing shame. I am not saying, "do whatever feels good and don't consider the consequences."
What I am saying is that pretty much all our sexual fantasies and desires come from both the positive and negative experiences we had in childhood in our families, religions, communities and peer groups. This is no different for sexual abuse survivors except that theirs included trauma.
To be clear, I am not talking about sexual orientation. I do not believe in any way that orientation can be learned or shaped. Sexual behaviors are shaped and imprinted, not sexual orientation.
Have a happy November and enjoy your Thanksgiving.
Warmly,
Joe Kort, Ph.D., LMSW
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Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse Conference
Erotic Logic: Understanding the Origin and Meaning of Sexual Practices
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Dr. Joe is presenting:
Erotic Logic: Understanding the Origin and Meaning of Sexual Practices
Saturday, November 17, 2012
3:00 pm - 4:30 pm
http://malesurvivor.org/conferences/2012/conference-announcement.html
The conference in Midtown Manhattan offered by MaleSurvivor.
MaleSurvivor is an excellent organization that addresses male sexual victimization. It is a leading organization in the growing movement to address the therapeutic, emotional and energetic needs of male survivors of sexual abuse. This year marks their 13th International Conference.
The MaleSurvivor conferences are one of the largest, multifaceted and well-organized conferences that I have ever had the pleasure of attending. This year's conference will take place Thursday, November 15th- Sunday, November 18th, 2012 on the campus of John Jay College of Criminal Justice in NYC. The theme of the conference is 'A World of Healing' which focuses on the hope for change in the occurrence of male sexual victimization and celebrates the increasing reach and positive effect of MaleSurvivor around the world!
This is from their website on the event:
- Healing Institutes for survivors only
- Healing Institutes for survivors and their partners.
- A healing Institute for clinicians only
- Presentations from international speakers form Australia, Canada, Cambodia, Nepal, New Zealand, and many others from Europe.
- Over 50 workshops encompassing the latest in research and treatment of male survivors of sexual abuse and their loved ones.
- In response to the Sandusky trial, an opening day roundtable discussion about abuse in sports, featuring professional athletes and advocates working within the sports community to change a culture of abuse.
- Keynote speakers such as: Joe Ehrmann (former NFL defensive player, founder, Coach for America), Mike Lew,, MEd, (Author ofVictims No Longer and Leaping Upon the Mountains) as moderator for a featured International Panel presentation, Alastair Hilton (Social Work Consultant for First Step Cambodia), Ken Clearwater (National Manager of MaleSurvivors of Sexual Abuse Trust in New Zealand), and Victor Vieth, JD ( Executive Director of The National Child Protection Training Center).
If you would like to learn more about the conference, please click this link: http://malesurvivor.org/conferences/2012/conference-announcement.html
If you would like to register for the conference, please click this link for information: http://www.regonline.com/Register/Checkin.aspx?EventID=1112684
If you would like to make a donation, please click this link: https://simplecheckout.authorize.net/payment/CatalogPayment.aspx
Please support MaleSurvivor in providing hope and healing to our brothers and sisters, and sending out the call to end child sexual abuse. I hope you consider MaleSurvivor as a worthy cause and join me in supporting them.
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Happenings at the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health |
Sex on the Download: When the Internet Disconnects a Relationship |
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Location: The offices of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health, 25600 Woodward Ave, Suite 215, Royal Oak, MI 48067
Presenter: Joe Kort, Ph.D., LMSW
Date: December 9, 2012 | 10AM to 12PM
Fee: $35
2 CE's
 This presentation originated with my colleague Tammy Nelson in which we have present together and do workshops on how the internet use of porn and chat impacts the lives of individuals and couples.
I will be presenting this myself in my office in Royal Oak and will discuss how to help couples face the crisis when one partner discovers that the other is secretly using pornography or connecting to potential partners online. We will explore its significance to the user and define limits. Finally, we'll talk about helping the spouses develop empathy and validation, ultimately creating a more differentiated sex life.
Click here to register.
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Keeping the Holidays Happy |
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Location: The offices of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health, 25600 Woodward Ave, Suite 215, Royal Oak, MI 48067
Presenter: Deborah Mueller
Date: December 7, 2012 | 7PM to 8:30PM
Fee: $10
 Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Happy Holidays!! Whichever greeting you prefer, that time of year is upon us. Despite the true meaning of the season, the demands of decorating, gift giving, visiting with friends, and catching up with family can be stressful.
Deborah Mueller, LLPC, will lead a presentation on how to keep the holidays happy. From her research, she discovered that 96% of Americans observe Christmas in some way. The hustle and bustle of the season can create stress, some of which is positive, such as excitement and anticipation. But many people also deal with negative stress, trying to do too much, spend too much, or be in too many places at once.
Mueller will provide attendees with 12 ways to try to minimize and manage the stresses that accompany this time of year. This holiday season, give yourself the gift of an evening filled with stress-reducing fun.
Please, call the office at 248-399-7447 to reserve your spot today or click here to register online.
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Joining Forces: Empowering male Survivors to Thrive
Brand new book for male survivors of sexual abuse by Dr. Howard Fradkin |
  Dr. Fradkin was the expert therapist in 2010 on the Oprah Winfrey Show where she aired two episodes on the subject. He provides weekend workshops for male survivors of sexual abuse. I highly recommend his workshop. He is an excellent resource in this field. http://www.malesurvivor.org/howard-fradkin.html You can contact him at his website ht website: http://howardfradkin.com/wphf/
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Straight men seeking sexual encounters with other men
Sexual Abuse can contribute to this. |
Sexual Abuse can contribute to straight men seeking sexual encounters with other men. I have written extensively on this at www.straightguise.com.
Here is a video of my addressing this issue as it relates to childhood sexual abuse from a male perpetrator.
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Warmly,
Joe Kort, Ph.D.
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Joe Kort, Ph.D, MA, LMSW, ACSW
25600 Woodward Ave | Suite 218 | Royal Oak, MI | 48067
248.399.7317 | joekort@joekort.com
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