STILL WORKING TO "GET IT RIGHT"
After years of teaching, raising our own children and overseeing the development of Especially for Children, I'm now being put to the test in my role as "Grandma Lala." The test is totally self-imposed. Our three grandchildren, soon to be four, aren't the problem. The issue is that having immersed myself in the field of early childhood education for most of my life, I have the expectation that I should be able to "get it right" as a grandma. All those things that I have learned throughout the years should come together in my new role, and I shouldn't ever have to second guess myself or feel that I could have done it better.
What I find is that the things that come naturally for me are easy to do.
I love to sing songs, read stories, participate in imaginary play. I'm fascinated with how our grandchildren learn. I look forward to helping them develop new skills and listening to what they say. When they are babies, I relish the time I can hold them, talk to them and help them feel secure.
But, even when I know better, I struggle with certain things. For me, setting limits and being consistent with behavior guidance are challenges.
I'm getting better at it, but I have to consciously remind myself that how I respond is giving lifelong messages to our grandchildren. I know that self-regulation is a skill they will need to succeed in school, jobs, and relationships.
I also hear myself over-praising and saying "Good job" way too much. I totally believe the research that shows that when you want children to develop authentic self-esteem, you should acknowledge and celebrate, not praise, their efforts and achievements. I want children to be self-motivated, excited to learn, not working to please.
Another thing I am working on is encouraging independent play and exploration. I write about it. It's the basis of The Creative Curriculum. Children learn through discovery. Why, then, do I so often think I have to orchestrate the situation?
I'm sharing these things with you to encourage you in your role as parents. The challenges are part of the experience. And the nature of the challenge differs from person to person. Try not to get overwhelmed. Celebrate the parts of parenting that come easily for you. And face head on the things that are difficult. Your child will thank you later!
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