House of Hoarders.  A couple years ago I was watching  one of my favorite television shows--CSI: Las Vegas--and Nick and a cop named Ray were reviewing crime scene photos where a woman was found deceased in a house so filled with stuff, they didn't find the body for some time.  Nicks says he doesn't understand. Their conversation went like this...

Nick:  I still don't get it.

Ray:  The clutter or the pathology?

Nick:  Both.

Ray:  The philosopher Eric Fromm, he forecast a society that was obsessed with possessions.  He believed that human beings had two basic orientations:  having and being.  Now a person with a having orientation seeks to acquire and possess things, property, even people.  But a person with a being orientation focuses on the experience.  They derive meaning from exchanging, engaging, and sharing with other people.

Nick:  Sounds like the right way to be.

Ray:  Unfortunately Fromm also predicted that a culture driven by commercialism like the one we live in today is doomed to the having orientation, which leads to dissatisfaction and emptiness.  When you consider in 1960 there was no such thing as public storage in America and today there is over two billion square feet dedicated to it, makes you think he had a point.

Nick:  So society is to blame, is that it?

Ray:  The point is there is always going to be extremes like Mrs. Santiago.  Things don't have to mean everything nor do they have to be devoid of meaning.  They are one of the ways in which we can experience and enjoy life.

Nick:  As long as they don't get in the way of living.

--CSI:  Crime Scene Investigators Las Vegas, October 21, 2010

It's up to you.  This is the point at which the rubber meets the road, so to speak:  Your clutter or your life.  As Nick and Ray said, "Things are one of the ways in which we can experience and enjoy life. As long as they don't get in the way of living." As a de-clutter coach and feng shui practitioner, please hear me.  I am not advocating a clean sweep--just trash it all. This is a process. Your journey.  Keep your stuff as long as you love it, use it, and need it...and only if it isn't getting in the way of your LIVING.  Clutter is a challenge--of which not too many are exempt--including myself.   In less than three years, I lost my Dad, my mother-in-law, and an elderly aunt. My husband and I cleaned out three houses, a combined total of 130 years of residence, and I struggled not to bring it all home with me.   We all get attached to our things and other people's things--books, antiques, trophies, magazines, a baseball cap collection. 

We form relationships with our stuff. Why? First, it's an external affirmation of our success. As a kid, I didn't have a lot.  I had enough, but not much extra.  So when I graduated from college got married and suddenly had a disposable income, I started disposing of it.  I remember going to Target every Sunday and buying stuff.  We had jobs.  We had money.  We had no children yet.  We just indulged ourselves every Sunday buying things.  We acquired and accumulated things because we could.  We participated in the capitalism, keeping up with the Jones-es, the more you have the better you are mentality.  You have to be a saint not to.  It's our culture.  It's the American way.

The third reason.  We also become attached because our stuff has value--emotional, sentimental, and monetary. This is where your individual, personal journey comes into play.  Like all the stuff I brought home from my aunt's home, I wasn't EMOTIONALLY ready to let go of it...yet.  Physical things help us feel connected to our loved ones who pass.  Letting go is a process.  As each month passed and I began looking for places in my home to use these items, I discovered I wanted less and less of what I brought home and by the end of the year 95% of it had been donated or given away.  And SENTIMENTALLY we tell ourselves: Oh I couldn't get rid of that because...it belonged to my grandmother ...I've had it since high school...my friend brought me that from Spain.  Karen Kingston, author of Clearing Clutter with Feng Shui, reminds us that just because we are throwing things away, does not mean we are throwing away the thought of the person who gave it to us or our feelings for the person it belonged to.  And one of the strongest relationships that attaches us to our stuff is MONETARY.  Our stuff cost so much, or what if we might need it someday: refer to it, wear it, cook it, read it, fix it, or use it.  And the biggest fear in letting go??--what if it's worth a bunch of money? 

This week consider the relationships and attachments you have formed with your possessions, things, stuff.  Will you forget the memory if you let go of the physical item? What if it is worth a bunch of money?  Then find out.  If you have valuable items, get them appraised and know their value.  If you don't know, get it out of the storage unit or boxes and off the closet shelves and find out so you can begin the process of letting go if there is no monetary value. 

Until Next Week