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December 2014 Newsletter

Dear Readers,
 

I've spent the better part of the last two months editing a special twentieth anniversary hardback of the original MEG: A NOVEL OF DEEP TERROR, combined with MEG: ORIGINS! (the MEG prequel has only been an ebook). I've rewritten the entire novel so that it meshes seamlessly with MEG; ORIGINS, combining it with aspects of the MEG screenplay, introducing Mac's character far earlier in the story while adding new scenes and a new ending. In addition, I've added original artwork by the amazing Erik Hollander. The result is a completely different reading experience, one I promise will whet your appetite for MEG: Nightstalkers (one of the characters in MEG: ORIGINS has a major role in MEG 5).
 

This hardback will only be sold on my website, which is being redesigned as you read this newsletter. Only 5,000 copies are being printed, each book numbered in sequential order. Part of the proceeds will be used in my fight to find a cure for Parkinson's Disease, which I was diagnosed with eight years ago. Once the books are sold out, that is it.
 

How can you be guaranteed a copy?
 

If you purchase a copy of DOG TRAINING THE AMERICAN MALE (a comedy written under my pen name, L.A. Knight) then email me a receipt at [email protected] with the subject heading RESERVE MY MEG HARDBACK. I will add your email to an early notification list and guarantee you'll be able to order as many copies as you want.  I anticipate the hardbacks will be printed in January (I was pushing for December, but it took me far longer to complete the rewrite than I anticipated.
 

But boy, was it worth it!
 

With that, here's your update.

--Steve Alten

HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS - AND NO LINES TO FIGHT!

If you purchase a copy of either SHARKMAN or DOG TRAINING THE AMERICAN MALE and email me the name of the recipient at [email protected] (SUBJECT - AUTOGRAPH) I will email you back a personalized signed bookplate you print on a label and adhere to the inside title page. 

LIVING TIPS - Best foods to keep you from getting sick this winter
With the temperatures fluctuating outside, it looks like it is officially cold season! Turns out, there are some foods you can eat that can help you fight back and boost your immunity.

Laugh of the Month

Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Duane smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing underneath.. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."
 

He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
 

The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"

She's astounded! "Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They are full, don't sag, and they're 100% natural! My buns - they are firm and do not sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes or scars! Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!"
 

Clearing his throat once again, Duane stammers - "Outside when you said you heard someone coming? That was me."

  

IF YOU HAVE A JOKE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at [email protected]  Put JOKE in the subject line.
Recipe of the Month: Black-Raspberry Truffle Cake

Ingredients:

2 (18.25-ounce) packages devil's food cake mix
6 large eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
1 1/3 cups water
1 1/4 cups light sour cream
1 (12-ounce) package semisweet chocolate morsels
1 1/2 cups whipping cream
1/2 cup seedless blackberry jam
1/2 cup seedless raspberry jam
1/4 cup water
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 (16-ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 to 3 1/2 cups chopped pecans, toasted
 

Garnish: 1/4 cup blackberry and raspberry candies.
 
DIRECTIONS: Beat first 5 ingredients at medium speed with an electric mixer 2 minutes or until blended. Grease 3 (9-inch) parchment or wax paper-lined round cake pans. Pour batter evenly into cake pans. Bake at 350� for 35 to 40 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool cake layers in pans on wire racks 15 minutes. Remove from pans, and remove paper. Cool completely on wire racks. Combine chocolate morsels and whipping cream in a medium saucepan over medium heat, whisking constantly, 10 minutes or until mixture is smooth. Pour into a mixing bowl; cover and chill 1 1/2 hours or until mixture begins to thicken. Cook jams and 1/4 cup water in a small saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly, 5 minutes or until jam melts. Brush tops of cake layers with jam mixture. Beat chocolate mixture at medium speed with an electric mixer about 20 seconds or until stiff peaks form. (Do not over beat.) Place 1 layer, glazed side up, on a cake platter. Spread with half of chocolate mixture. Top with another cake layer, glazed side down; spread with remaining chocolate mixture. Top with remaining cake layer, glazed side down. Secure layers by inserting wooden skewers from the top layer down through the other two layers. Beat cream cheese and powdered sugar at medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth. Add whipped topping and vanilla, beating until smooth. Working quickly, frost top and sides of cake with cream cheese mixture. Press pecans around sides of cake. Garnish, if desired.
 

*IF YOU HAVE A RECIPE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at [email protected]  Put RECIPE in the subject line.

Finally...

 
Jon Stewart closes The Daily Show with his moment of Zen, I offer you my moment of Curly...
 (I defy you to watch this and not smile.

Best of Curly
Best of Curly

Stay well, stay safe... and know this author really appreciates you. 

 

Sincerely,
 -Steve Alten, Ed.D.