"Listing Broker ready!"

"Seller ready!

"Appraiser ready!

"Inspector ready!"

"Buyer ready!

"Selling Agent ready!"

"Closing attorney ready!"

"Buyer's Lender ready!"

"Seller's Lender ready!"

"Seller's Lender's Appraiser ready!"

"Seller's Second Lender ready!" (it's a Short Sale, after all)

The coxswain then announces, "CLOSE!" Pandemonium breaks loose in the boat. A couple of the rowers actually row one or two strokes, but the others are hitting each other with their oars, pushing and shoving. Papers and briefcases are flying out of the boat, clothing is ripped and eyes are blackened. Finally, the coxswain calmly announces, "SET A NEW CLOSING DATE!"

Does this sound too familiar? Why are most (or sometimes all) the rowers fighting each other and forgetting to row the boat? Are the rowers each counting on the other rowers to make progress but unwilling to do any of the rowing themselves? Or are some (or all) of the rowers believing that they individually know more than the coxswain about what should happen in the boat and how best to reach the desired destination?

The analogy is VERY fitting. All the parties to a real estate transaction MUST row in the same direction, toward the closing table, or a lot of energy is wasted and frustration sets in. Yet each of the rowers has a different boss he/she is trying to satisfy: The agents and brokers are independent contractors and don't get paid till the deal closes. The Buyer's Lender is worried about OK'ing anything without triple documentation and fingerprints. The Seller's Lenders each want to salvage as much from the deal as possible without being duped by the Seller or crossing the line into deliberate obstruction. The appraiser is hamstrung by regulation and fear. The Seller has lost interest because he will gain little and lose much credit-wise. And the Buyer believes whatever he last read on the internet.

Who is the magical coxswain who can get all the rowers facing the same direction, actually rowing and rowing in unison? In this writer's humble opinion, the coxswain is actually a tandem of both the Listing Agent and the Selling Agent. The Agents MUST work together or all may be lost. The Agents must actually turn their backs on the destination, face the parties to the transaction and their respective vendors and encourage them to row, row hard and row together. How?

1. The Agents must respect and cooperate with one another. Each must thoroughly understand, accept and perform their roles in the transaction. Neither is superior or "the boss" no matter how many years they've been in the business or how many deals they've done. If one has knowledge the other lacks, it's not flaunted or withheld in order to make the other look bad. Each complements the other and coordinates behind the scenes with the other to make sure all bases are covered.

2. The Agents must appreciate the expertise and limitations of each vendor (rower) in the boat and know when each rower needs to exert himself/herself to propel the boat forward. The Selling Broker must coach the Buyer to begin rowing by providing all needed information to the Buyer's Lender so that the Buyer's Lender may begin rowing. The Buyer's Lender must provide information to the Appraiser so that he/she may begin rowing. Meanwhile, the Listing Agent is coaching the Seller into rowing hard and strong by laying his financial situation on the Seller's Lender's table for examination. Then the Seller's Lender(s) can begin rowing and giving instructions to their respective vendors to begin rowing. Let's not forget the Closing Attorney! Too often he/she's overlooked and doesn't get his/her oar in the water till the dock is in sight. Great Listing and Selling Agents harness the Closing Attorney's energy early on by providing him/her with the information needed to handle title issues and meet each party's closing requirements.

3. The Agents must discern their client's or customer's situation completely. This means the Listing Agent asking a lot of questions at listing time to determine exactly what the seller's readiness, willingness and ability to sell are. And the Selling Agent asking a lot of questions to determine the buyer's true objectives and budget.

4. The Agents must use what they know about their respective client/customer to guide and lead the client/customer to make informed decisions. The Agents must never presume or assume that they can speak on behalf of their client/customer. Decisions are not the Agent's to make; they are the buyer's or seller's. (If the writer had a nickel for every time she has heard, "MY buyer/seller will never agree to that!" she would be very wealthy and open a shelter for burned out real estate agents).

5. The Agents must be "nice". This means courteous, professional, timely and truthful. No ranting emails; no angry phone calls; no mention of religious beliefs or family genealogy (seriously!)

UPDATE: We've found a copy of the old comic strip! Unfortunately, it's a large poster, so we had to take a picture. Click on the picture below to see it larger!