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Transitions & Transformations
Summer 2013 |
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 Welcome to Transitions and Transformations, my seasonal newsletter for people who want to learn and grow through times of change.
Here at Alive to Change, I work with individuals and groups as they explore the different aspects of their own personal transitions, and take small - and large - steps forward in the direction they want.
Change isn't always easy, even if it is something you really want to happen - and it is often hard if it is something you definitely didn't want to happen. However, change always brings new possibilities and perspectives, not always fully visible at first.
I invite you to be alive to the possibilities present in and during change. I am also passionate about not waiting "until" - let's explore ways of being alive right now regardless.
The twin themes of transition and transformation cry out to be linked to the seasons, so my intention is to publish this as our seasons change in the northern hemisphere. Each issue will explore what the seasonal change brings and will highlight one specific transition.
I welcome your insights and experiences as well as ideas for future topics.
Kirstin
Kirstin@alivetochange.com |
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Spring into Summer Springtime is a period of rapid and rampant change in nature. It is a busy season of growth and of planting anew. As well as being rewarded with longer days, brighter colours and more welcoming weather (usually!), we are also positively invited to enjoy and reconnect with our external environment once more. In Springtime, there's new life.
We, like the flowers, start to open up in our "Spring" transition. We experiment more, we plant more "seeds", we connect more outside of ourselves. The potential we have, like bulbs long dormant over winter, starts to come to life as we feel more energised, more confident.
In the Springtime of our transitions and transformation, we wake up to the possibilities of change and what could be new in our lives. We notice the signs of the change we're making and that encourages us to work more on our transformation.
Just like the seasons, transitions and transformations cannot be rushed. They have their own pace to follow, and so do we. Spring might start and end - in theory, at least - on fixed dates in the calendar, but we know that there is overlap, that there is flexibility in nature's timetable as well as our own.
Yet we find ourselves frustrated with ourselves (as well as with the seasons!), when the timetable isn't adhered to. Even in the glory of Spring, with its growth, the anticipation of precious gifts to be delivered, with its awakening of new life in us and in nature, even here we look forward to what we perceive as the ultimate in our transformation. Summer.
As soon as Spring starts, Summer beckons from across the way. Summer sings out its charming song - enticing us towards it with its heatwaves and even stronger, deeper colours. Summer calls out "relax, stop working so hard, enjoy the view, chill out" . . . and other tempting phrases! We start anticipating those times when we might be able to do a little less, to step back a little more, to be freer and to let go of the reins a little.
It's a tempting mirage which is promised to us . . . later. We can see it on the horizon, even almost touch it, certainly imagine how it will be. In terms of our transformation, we believe that moving into Summer means we have finally "got there", we've "made it".
Before you embrace the sunny promises of Summertime, I invite you to reflect on how you have grown through your Spring. What lessons did you learn? What steps did you take? What did you find yourself saying "Yes" to? And no? In what ways did you surprise yourself? What did you find blossoming in you?
And then relax. You've earnt it!
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 Transitioning Into the Holidays
All hell breaks loose in that last week before you leave on holiday. You've never been so productive in your life. You're packing, you're trying to finish ALL your work before you leave, you're checking last minute arrangements, you've forgotton to find someone to look after the cat . . . no wonder we spend the first few days of the holiday recovering from the pre-holiday rush.
Having a deadline can be a great thing to focus our mind, and holidays provide a natural cut off for us - whether from school, from work, from our everyday routine.
Yet our holiday time is so precious to us, we can't bear to leave any loose strings behind believing, perhaps, that we can't relax without it - hence the pressure we put on ourselves to do it all before we leave.
How can we take pressure off ourselves as we lead up to the holidays? Do we add too much in our diaries? Do we commit to things we can only deliver if we rush? Are we trying to get everything perfect? Are we worried about what might happen in our absence?
How about separating your to do list round about now - what about having a list of "must do" before holiday and "nice to do" before holiday - and maybe even another list which says "this can wait until I get back?
But what if we could find some way to start that transition even before we go. Even if we don't "have time" in the conventional sense, we can take time during the day (during a commute, a shower, dare I say even a dull meeting or routine task) to get ourselves into our holiday mode early, albeit briefly.
How would you like to experience your first day of holiday? Take a moment now to imagine that holiday feeling - relaxed, free, excited, long days stretching out in front of you without plans? Or something else? What is that holiday feeling for you?
Take a moment now to picture yourself in your favorite holiday destination. What does it look like? How does it smell? What sounds can you hear? Can you feel the sensation of sand on your fingertips - or are you drifting your hands in the water.
While you're meditating with your holiday in mind, do you notice your breathing getting slower and calmer, your mind slowing down, and your body relaxing? If so - well done! You've just let go of today's busy-ness and had yourself a mini-break - a taster of what is to come.
Holidays are supposed to relieve us of stress, not add to it - so let's be good to ourselves and discover how to bring that holiday feeling into our lives RIGHT NOW, wherever we are, and whatever we're doing.
Holidays are a time for letting go. What do you want to let go of these holidays?
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 Recovering from Illness and Injury
I can write with some expertise on this topic, having had 5 experiences over 8 years of recovering from operations and/or injury. Each involved a period of recuperation from 6-20+ weeks.
When we are fit, well and active, we tend to take for granted all the things we do on a day to day basis. This makes it hard to adjust in times when we don't have all our energy and capabilities available to us. The transition from poor to good health is one that many of us face, and the impacts are often underestimated.
As I slowly emerge from my most recent spell of recuperation, this time after a dislocated shoulder, I'd like to share some of my thoughts on these periods of transition back to full health.
Firstly, we need to adjust our expectations of ourselves (and therefore manage others' expectations of us too). We may not be able to work at the same pace, to take on the same amount, to deal with the same level of activity. Trying to do too much too soon can set you back, big time.
We may well also need listen even more to our bodies, and learn to recognise when we need to rest. Yes, rest. Easier said than done when we have busy lives and multiple commitments. Yet rest is what our bodies may be craving.
It is important to ask for help when you are not feeling at full strength. Our urge to be independent often prevents us from doing this - but why would we not want to give ourselves all the support we need? We can repay this support when we're fit and well - in many different ways.
Recovery can come in fits and starts. Some days you may feel like you're making great progress. Other days you may feel you're going backwards, or at least, standing still. Find ways to keep yourself motivated through these days. Looking at your progress over the longer term can really help - review where you were 2-3 weeks ago, not where you were yesterday.
Be kind to yourself. Be the person who notices how well you are doing, and be the person who spots when you need some encouragement. If you need encouragement and it's not coming - ask for it! You are bound to have friends and family who have had to deal with this transition before - so talk to someone who knows how this feels.
Set yourself baby steps to take - even the tiniest step forward is a step forward. Don't dismiss any small step in the right direction - each is important. Momentum builds when you start stringing together baby steps.
It may sound counterintuitive, but you can also use this time to do something new and different. When you are recovering, it could be the opportunity to create new, healthier habits, to reignite an interest or hobby, to connect in a different way with people. This may be rare "time out" of the regular routine that you can turn to your advantage.
Exercise your sense of humour. It's not easy when you're in pain, or finding it difficult not to be able to live your "normal" life - but laughter is a great pain and stress reliever, motivator, connector, energiser. Who makes you laugh? What makes you laugh? Who can you make laugh and how?
And finally, look after yourself. Sometimes our illnesses and injuries come out of the blue - and other times, they come because we are neglecting our needs. Make this your chance to reflect on how you can keep pace with your needs as they develop - and work out how you can notice signs of strain in the future.
Everything that we experience in life helps to shape us, and periods of recuperation are no different. These can be difficult times - yet also times where we have the opportunity to learn to do things differently. We may also, therefore, emerge stronger in some way - and more confident that, whatever challenges and changes we encounter, we can handle them.
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 Coaching Programmes and Workshops
If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could help you transform your experience of change, please contact me for a free exploratory session.
If you'd like to experience group coaching in a fun and inspiring workshop, please contact me on kirstin@alivetochange.com for future events. My Autumn Programme is summarised here - there will be more events joining it after the summer too.
I work face to face or over the phone, so distance is no object.
If you'd like a more regular dollop of inspiration and an idea or two, please check out Alive to Change on Facebook - and if you like it, please like it!!
My last workshop before the summer break is at Centrepoint:
25th June 7-8.30pm: Rebuilding your Confidence after Relocation
For more information, please check out the event page on Facebook: Event Page
There are a couple of places left, so please let me know if you'd like to attend.
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I hope you've enjoyed this second issue of T&T. I'd love to hear if there are transitions that you'd like me to cover.
Next issue will come out in late summer as it heads towards Autumn, one of my favorite times of year. We'll focus on letting go some more, a key part of any transition.
with my best wishes for the Summer Kirstin
www.alivetochange.com |
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