Roots and Wings

June 2013

Kirstin Barton at Alive to Change

PS If you like Roots and Wings, you might also like Tips from the Big Top, for Mums who are juggling work and home - next issue out Tuesday 4th June. And if you're interested in Transitions, this seasonal (Spring to Summer) issue is out on the 21st June - please email me on kirstin@alivetochange.com for your copy.

 

We've just had John's Grandma Hermie to stay. She's 84, now and very recently widowed.  Now the older generation often have interesting stories to tell, and Hermie is no exception. What I was particularly wanting to find out about was her own experience as a Mum Abroad - she came to England from her native Austria just after the 2nd World War, when she married John's Grandad. A very young woman herself, she found herself settlng into the heart of an industrial city in northern England with two young children - a far cry from her earlier life living on farms in rural Austria.

Hermie talks of her homesickness - missing where she lived, missing her friends, missing her large, close-knit family, missing her lifestyle. Visits home were few and far between - a gap of 14 years at one point. So contact depended on phone calls and letters.

Hermie tells of her early days in England, having to learn English from scratch. She regularly walked past the chip shop, tempted by the delicious smell, but unable to ask for what she wanted. She eventually stood by the door as a few customers ordered, and literally copied what they had said. She got her chips!

There were no language courses in those days. You just had to get on with it and learn on the job. There was no cross-cultural training or clubs to join. There was no sense of being on holiday and exploring the area for a while. There were no internet resources or books about living abroad. A family friend took Hermie aside and told her when she wasn't doing something "right". Hermie remembers feeling pleased that someone was helping her find out what the new "normal" was - but I suspect secretly carried on doing her own thing!

These were times before culinary diversity kicked in, and Hermie missed her Austrian food. Until recently, her family still brought her the special products she most missed. And Hermie always cooked big Austrian feasts for the popular get togethers of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren (and wouldn't let you leave without having three platefuls!).

After 66 years, Hermie is still regularly in contact with her family in Austria. There's phone calls, visits, letters and cards being exchanged. Hermie is always up to date with the family news - and when she needs a good cry - or wants a good laugh - she's on the phone to her remaining sister.

I really enjoyed hearing Hermie's experiences of her life as a new mum abroad - and beyond. This was a tale of a young woman with a great deal of resilience and courage, creating herself a new life far from home, spreading her wings - but never losing touch with her roots.

I'm sure we can relate to many of her experiences, albeit from a different time - and, probably like me, you're counting your lucky stars for the advancements in technology and travel which makes keeping in touch so much easier.

Baby Steps

So now, I can reach a mark on the wall that, all those weeks ago, I aimed for. My physio can manipulate me more, stretch me more. I can do more. Not everything, but definitely more.

When we're changing ourselves or something is changing around us, it can feel like a frustrating place to be. We're not "there" yet.

Slow change can be likened to a walk on a very long beach. There's perhaps a destination in mind, over in the distance, many steps away. It looks great over there, perfect even, just where we want to be. Yet when we're walking on the beach, it's hard to see the progress we're making. The sea looks the same, the sand looks the same and the dunes look the same.

It's only when we turn and see where we've come from that we gain a sense of perspective on how far we have travelled.

And isn't it true that each little step can be a moment of joy. The sand between your toes, the waves just teasing your ankles, the satisfying footprint you leave behind. Each step is to be enjoyed, wiggled in a little, truly appreciated.

Whatever you're working towards, are you making sure you're enjoying your baby steps? Are you noticing the steps you are taking rather than the distance left to go?

Why not allow this change to be the walk on the beach, where you're relishing each sandy step forward?

I was very proud this month to feature in Hello Switzerland - pages 22 and 23.

Check it out!! Big thanks to Kate Orson for interviewing me and making much sense of our long and intense discussion!

You are very welcome to come along to my Open House on Thursday 13th June between 11am and 2pm  - at my home in Leymen (click on this facebook event for more details). I'm looking forward to sharing information about my Invincible Mums programme coming up in the Autumn, and also to showing off my new picture that finishes off my office!! Lots more too - those of you who came to the last Open House will remember my ambition to fill my sideboard with my own books - well, I've got two coaching workbooks to add to the table. There'll be a prize draw to win your own copy of one of them!

I'll provide all the refreshments and food, just bring yourselves and feel free to bring a friend. Do let me know if you're coming for catering purposes.

If you're not available during the day, or you have the opportunity to escape in the early evening, why not come along to this informal get together for Mums Abroad in central Basel. Drop in to Cafe des Artes, Barfusserplatz any time between 6-8pm (outside if sunny!) and look out for the Alive to Change butterfly.

It will be lovely to catch up before the summer - and do feel free to bring a friend.

If you think you can come, please click on the link and let me know.

There are a growing number of brand new comers reading Roots and Wings - WELCOME! Some of the long term readers may not need this list . but I thought I'd share it anyway. It's people and groups I know and am happy to recommend.

If you're new here (or even not so new), the Expat Expo on Sunday 2nd June is a great place to visit - around 100 different businesses and organisations to explore.

If you're planning a birthday party, look no further than Party Queen, and be sure to get your yumlicious cake from Jay's Delights.

If you've got young children, check out Basel Children's Trust, Mignon Parenting, Parenting by Connection, Kindermusik, Girl Scouts in Basel, Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts,

If you're looking to connect with other english speakers from all round the world, why not look into joining www.centrepoint.ch or www.pwg-basel.ch. Centrepoint and the Professional Women's Group of Basel have both been excellent sources of inspiration, connection and support for me.

If your children are in local school and want to continue with their english - Ahead with English can help.

If you need relationship counselling support, contact Relationships Basel. And for Emotional Freedom Technique (helps in all manner of situations) try Eva Zimmermann.

If you haven't already found them, Facebook groups such as Expats in Basel and Basel International Families can be a great source of information.

If you want to keep in contact with Alive to Change between Roots and Wings, do join my Facebook Group - www.facebook.com/alivetochange - I update it regularly with inspiring quotes, with my random thoughts and with the odd question to keep you thinking - you can join in the discussion too. I publish my events on there and links to interesting things from time to time. Check it out!

As it's my birthday month, I'm kicking off a special offer of a discount on a Life Audit. If you, or if any of your friends, want to get clearer on where you are now and what your priorities are in moving forward, this is a great way to find out. Read more here.

If you're interested, please just email me on kirstin@alivetochange.com for further details.