Well it's been a scarily busy week, trying to fit a month's work into 5 days! With a holiday and visitors to work around, it's spooky how much time and energy gets magicked away.

From time to time in preparation for our holidays, I catch myself feeling haunted by my to do list - a constant reminder of what isn't done. Yet - when I step back from the bubbling cauldron for long enough, I notice how much I have done and experienced this month. Each day for one week this month, for example, I realise I had been somewhere I'd never been before! After all this time - and right on the doorstep. What did I learn from this? I really must get on my broomstick and explore some more .  .  .

In October, I've also had the great pleasure of meeting many new people, through workshops I've led, events I've attended - and, once, because I invited someone I'd never met before over for a walk. Why? Well, I had heard a snippet of her story, and just thought - here is someone I really want to meet and get to know a little. Read more later in the main feature this month.

In November, I've got two new events starting which I want to make regular events - a Coaching for Mums circle (Tuesday 13th November (9-10.30am) and a more general Mums Abroad coaching circle (Tuesday 27th November 9-10.30am). Coaching circles are less formal and structured than a workshop - but they still enable you to find ways forward through connecting in a small, supportive group. Please email me if you'd like to find out more. The first one you attend is free in any case, and after that they are just CHF20 a time.

Alongside my work with individual clients in November, I'm also running workshops at the PWG (www.pwg-basel.ch) about effectively managing your workload in a dynamic environment, one for the PWG Job Hunt Support Group on Sustainable Job seeking, a workshop at Centrepoint around Productivity - and, something new I'm particularly excited about,  a workshop for some of the students at the ISB. Rather appropriately for this edition, they've given me the straight after lunch graveyard slot!

Thank you so much for your continued support and regular feedback on Roots and Wings - working on your own can be a lonely endeavour,so your input is much appreciated.

All the best

kirstin@alivetochange.com
www.alivetochange.com

 

 
By the time most relocating families are just about starting to feel a little more settled in their new location, Tonya McKinny and her family have already moved to their new location, and planned the one after that!

Over the past 6 years, the family has moved roughly every three months, living in 12 different locations (several twice or even three times), in six different countries and three continents. Is this giving you the heebyjeebies yet?

Tonya is currently in Basel with her husband Ryan and their two children, and I could not wait to meet her, I really had to find out her story. I was intrigued to find out how she experiences this very mobile life. And having had the privilege of a little time together, I'm keen to share her philosophy with you in five key messages.

1. Treat this as if it was the best decision you (n)ever made
It is easy to spend time feeling aggrieved at someone or some organisation for putting you in a certain situation or place. However, when you have only a short time in each location, it's key to start from the point that this is a good decision and to make it work, wherever and whatever it is!

2. Focus on what makes you happy - find it here
For Tonya, it is important to focus on developing friendships and exploring places. Fortunately friends are often to be found in interesting places! This doesn't mean that you're always going to feel happy - but if you know what you can do for yourself when you do feel down, that helps too!

3. Treat new people as if they are going to be life-long friends
Some of them certainly will be - and how much more fun can you have with someone when you open up and really connect in those early days?

4. Be your own travel guide

Tonya does most of her relocation planning herself, she finds we can only outsource so much of our experience of relocation. What do you need to make things work for you in this location? For Tonya, it is about quickly getting to grips with the physical environment and then finding ways of connecting with people locally - for example, tracking down the local library and striking up a conversation.

And most importantly,

5. Focus on People, not Things
When you are constantly on the move, you learn to - and have to - travel light. Which means focusing on developing and sustaining the relationships which support and inspire you rather than amassing and being attached to possessions. So Tonya values her committed relationship higher than the physical security blanket of home, and this gives her the sense of freedom she needs to move around.

When I met Tonya, I didn't get the sense of her being dragged kicking and screaming around the world to "follow" her husband. I was left with a really positive impression of someone who really sees a clear and important role for herself as a wife and Mom abroad - and, who actually, seems to be very much enjoying herself right here, and right now.

Something you might like to think about is this - what is the philosophy that helps you adapt to your life as a Mum Abroad? And how is this working for you right now? To what extent is it enabling you to make the most of your time here?


Read more about Tonya here

* Sorting out my office - and really organising my space so I can focus on my work rather than fight through the piles of home admin to get to the fun stuff. Such joy to have a clear workspace!! Thank you to my coach for enabling me to realise how much this stuff was getting in the way of my ability to concentrate - and inspiring me into action.

* Learning that Coaches need Coaching too!!

* Checking out Pinterest -

* Reading - lots of  articles on self-esteem in children (and what parents do that affects this). Worrying about all the stuff I've already done "wrong". Briefly!

* Talking to my Mum about all kinds of random things - it's been a real treat to have her over here for  a little while. Wishing she wouldn't remind me quite so vividly of my teenage years (the ones I'd rather forget . . .and hoped she had! )

* Helping behind the bar at the football club - my new french lessons (haven't learnt much I can use in polite company yet - but can pull a good pint!!)

After all the tricks and treats  of Halloween, we tip toe quietly into November. And, in France, the 1st November is Toussaint, All Hallows, All Saints, All Souls day. A day for shops to close, and for families to take flowers to the graves of family and friends, an act of reflection and remembrance.

Another bank holiday in France is the Armistice day, 11th November, where another time of remembrance is shared across the community. This is especially poignant here in the Alsace, which was so affected by both World Wars and many earlier confllicts.

There is a story we read once in my French class which highlights just one aspect of life in the Alsace during a period of occupation. The Last Class

(here in English) is a moving read if you have a moment.

And if that all seems so far away in time, right now our friends are celebrating their son's recent safe return home from duties in Afghanistan - this year's remembrance will be even more meaningful for his family and friends.

When we take time out to remember, to reflect and to appreciate both sung and unsung heroes from then and now, let us also remember that we humans show our courage in countless ways. We can all use whatever we have to take action and reach out to make our difference in the world.