A man of my word - this month is about flowers and sunshine!  Judy and I traveled to Hawaii in April. (This picture is of a resort near where we stayed - just wanted to make sure you saw flowers and sunshine).

Judy and I each demonstrated continuing growth on this trip (not referring to our weight which remained quite stable despite some incredible meals).

1) We had a great time because we are compatible at the level of values more than we are compatible at the level of activities (that could be another newsletter topic).  I've always said I like the beach except for the sand, sun, and saltwater.  It took years for Judy to accept that part of my love for her was expressed in my willingness to vacation at the beach.  I was having a great time because I was with her.  She wanted me to be there because I loved the beach, but finally realized it was enough that I was there because I love her.  Although this time I really did enjoy the beach and pool - she thinks there's hope for me after all!  (If you want to know the reason for my change of heart, write to me and I'll share a couple of my secrets.)

2) We left our young adult children (20, 18, 17) at home alone for two and a half weeks.  Two children were finishing up their semesters of college, one of those in another state.  They had to negotiate the use of cars, keep the yard and house looking good, all while staying fed.  A lot to ask!  Judy has always been a serving mom and so this was an opportunity for her to allow them to succeed without her help.  She has been moving this direction for a long time, but it was great both to see her let go and the kids thrive in our absence.  We returned home on Mother's Day to a freshly cut yard and a perfectly clean house.

None of this is to suggest that all is perfect in the Julian household.  Reread last month's newsletter if you doubt this - everyone is in pain.  But healthy relationships are possible and we need to celebrate evidence of our increasing maturity.