December 2015
Love in the workplace
Last month I talked about a workplace affair on a client's team.  This month I write a newsletter entitled "Love in the workplace."  To me these are unrelated - I mean "love" in a very different sense.
 
My motivation for this topic comes from my recent work with a fire department leadership team.  I challenged them to love each other - unsure of how that might be received in a high machismo culture.

Definition
My definition of "love" is quite simple: Acting with the other person's best interests in mind.

Speaking truth in love 
I often challenge teams that they need to have three shared commitments:
1.  A commitment to common goals and objectives.
2.  A commitment to one another's professional success.
3.  A commitment to speaking truth.
 
Most teams struggle with the third commitment - speaking truth.  This results from an avoidance of conflict, a fear that others may retaliate by speaking their truths, a sense of hierarchy or lines of authority that should not be crossed, and tiredness in relationships where speaking truth has not been well received previously.
 
Note that this is "speaking truth" not "speaking the truth" or "speaking Truth."  This is honest communication that is meant to improve the situation and to help the team.  It is truth motivated by love.

Risking the appearance of losing in order to love 
Loving others may mean that we risk losing or the appearance of losing.  Many workplace challenges quickly escalate, focusing our attention on win/lose outcomes.  So it is difficult to love others - to act with their best interests in mind - because that may mean that we lose and risk diminished status or leverage in future interactions.  But when we love others we can reframe win/lose situations so that we think about what is best for all involved and act from that perspectiveWe risk the appearance of losing while being confident that we have acted in a way that everyone actually wins.

Loving someone doesn't require liking him
I come from a faith tradition that makes a distinction between loving and liking others.  While it may sound disingenuous, I find it helpful.  I can love someone without liking them.  I can act with the best interests of another in mind without being attracted to them as a person, without wanting to spend time with them outside of work.  What sometimes happens, however, is that when I love someone consistently and intentionally over time, I grow to like them, to see the best within them.

Listening to the other as part of love
Of course, we cannot know the future and so acting with another's best interests in mind does not guarantee the best outcome.  We could be wrong about what is best, or our motivations may be mixed and we may convince ourselves that we are acting in the best interests of another when we, in fact, are not.  But these complications do not change my belief that attempting to love others, to act with their best interests in mind, should be pursued - especially in the workplace.
 
Key to all of this is that we are treating the other as a person to be respected rather than as an object to be manipulated or overcome.  So a key part of love is actually hearing from the other - asking questions and allowing them to speak into what is best for them.  This can be a powerful way to build trust when you are a leader and such questions are not required or expected.

Let's take back "love"!
Just because a word ("love") has been abused does not mean it should be abandoned.  It is time to take back "love" as an appropriate workplace objective.
 
At Julian Consulting we help our clients to express love in the workplace!  Call TODAY to determine how we can serve you in this process.

Teambuilding in the New Year!

Time to invest in team health and growth  

 

Each Jan 1st brings with it a sense that we should begin again, building on what has gone before.

 

So, now is the time to invest in your team, addressing three challenges many teams face.  We're here to help you respond to each.

 

1) Roles and responsibilities need to be clarified

 

When people aren't sure who does what or why, they have difficulty defining "success" for themselves as individuals and for their team.  Teams without role clarity and that don't know what success is, find work to be more stressful, less rewarding and far less productive.

 

We help you define roles and responsibilities, clarify "success," and increase both productivity and morale in the New Year.

 

2) Communication styles need to be understood and appreciated

 

Communication is always a top concern within teams.

 

People communicate with different styles and objectives.  This can lead to misunderstanding, especially when I interpret what you said as though I had said it or without appreciating why you may have expressed your thoughts your way.

 

We help your team members to appreciate their different styles and to work through the communication challenges they consistently face.

 

3) You need to begin again

 

When teams are together for long periods of time, repeated disagreements become the building blocks in walls of interpersonal separation.  These walls keep teams from being effective and may encourage team members to sabotage the work of their team in an attempt to retaliate against a coworker.

 

We help teams to tear down walls and to find strategies for beginning again.  We cannot erase the past or heal all hurts, but we can encourage team members to experience hope and to reinvest in broker relationships that are hurting the team.

 

Allow us to serve you in the New Year.  We're here to help your leaders succeed and your teams to thrive!


Thanks for reading!
  
Remember, I'm committed to your professional and personal success!
Stephen Julian signature 
Dr. Stephen Julian
  
Julian Consulting
  
 
447 Greensboro Drive
Dayton, OH  45459
937-660-8563
937-660-8593 (fax)
  
Copyright © 2015 by Dr. Stephen Julian. All rights reserved.