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What happens when you have told people you are headed in a life direction that no longer is appealing?
What if you are someone who speaks passionately about things but doesn't always follow through?
Recently my son and I were talking about his future. He has said for years that he thinks he is headed in a specific vocational direction, but recently he has been wondering if that is still a good fit for him.
I encouraged him as follows:
- Don't stop speaking passionately about what interests or attracts you just because you might go in a different direction later.
- Don't feel trapped into heading a certain direction because you have talked about it for a long time to many people.
- Do learn to tell people the way you are wired as you are speaking with them.
People often say to me that no one speaks the way that I suggest, but actually I do.
Hypothetical Example: "I'm excited about what you are sharing and I can see how it is a great fit for both of our interests. I should let you know, however, that sometimes I get excited in conversation and then when I return to my desk and calendar I realize that what I was excited about really isn't going to work. So if you can handle that risk, I'd love to continue this conversation and explore how we might work together to achieve what you're describing."
Actual Example: At one point I told a couple working in China that I wanted to come alongside them and provide help to their organization based on my gifts and experience. They loved the idea and we began corresponding. But when I realistically considered my calendar and my existing travel commitments I realized that this wasn't going to be the right stage of life for me to make multiple trips to China. My interest was sincere, but that wasn't enough to make it happen.
Takeaway: Teach your children to dream and to share those dreams without having to worry that they will be held accountable for each one they express, and without feeling that they shouldn't express other, competing passions at a later date. Help them to understand, however, that others may take those comments seriously and build expectations around them. So they need to be clear with others about the difference between talking about ideas and committing to follow-through on those ideas.
Don't curb their enthusiasm!
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Copyright © 2015 by Dr. Stephen Julian. All rights reserved.
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