One day there was an unpleasant odor associated with the presence of one of our children. Because this is someone I care about, I tried to explore the source of this smell without being demeaning. The usual elements were ruled out - feet, general body odor. In addition, other family members weren't sure there was anything worrisome to smell.
 Eventually I figured it out. It was the hands. Smelly hands. There could be multiple reasons for smelly hands, but the explanation in this case was a smelly hand towel.
Sometimes we do the right things (e.g., we wash our hands), but the results are not as anticipated because part of the process is tainted (e.g., the use of a smelly towel to dry newly clean hands).
It is impossible as parents to teach our children all that they need to know to be successful in life. We think we have covered the bases - "Wash your hands after using the bathroom" - but it we forget there are other elements in the process that need to be addressed - "Make sure the hand towel gets laundered periodically so that it doesn't grow smelly."
Thankfully smelly hands can be an opportunity to deepen the teaching process ("Wash hands and launder towels"). Deficiencies in some areas of training aren't so easily ascertained. Many character issues have no odor associated with them.
Application: 1) Look for opportunities to extend and deepen training as unanticipated issues arise, sometimes from areas we assume will be understood without training. 2) Keep focusing on the underlying issues you are seeking to influence so that your children can generalize from your training to new, as-of-yet unexperienced situations ("I should probably wash my sheets periodically as well").
Of course, then there's the kids who aren't washing their hands at all. Celebrate your little victories and hope you aren't eating at a fast food restaurant where the "team members" ignore the signs to wash their hands.
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Copyright © 2015 by Dr. Stephen Julian. All rights reserved.
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